Is It In My Head

Doc_Hawk
Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Here's another of those "has anyone else experienced this?" and please I hope someone has.

A few nights ago, about an hour after I went to sleep, I suddenly bolted upright from a deep sleep because I heard my bedroom door click shut. Right away, I was in full fight mode with my fist cocked and ready to hit something and shouted "NO!" Just for maybe one or two seconds, I swear there was an amorphous, black shape standing in front of the door. Then, before I could blink, it was gone. I sat there for a minute or so thinking WTF, then resisted the urge to turn on the light and laid back down.

I mentioned this to my onc yesterday, wondering if he'd heard of hallucinations as a side effect but he hadn't. After a lot of internal debate, I decided to post this here, hoping that someone else had ever experienced something that bizarre.

May all your dreams be sweet ones

Doc

Comments

  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    #2
    G'day Doc
    I don't suffer from sleep apnea but I had one of those overnight monitor tests and It found that although I did not stop breathing for some reason I do stop absorbing oxygen at times. The number of times I have woken in an all out panic attack is a lot more frequent than I like. Now each night before bed I use my ventolin puffer take an anti histamine and use a a nasal spray to clear my sinuses.Some of the dreams I get into with low oxy are so freaking scary and they are always the type that asks the question was that a dream or was that real,Ron.
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    #3
    ron50 said:

    G'day Doc
    I don't suffer from sleep apnea but I had one of those overnight monitor tests and It found that although I did not stop breathing for some reason I do stop absorbing oxygen at times. The number of times I have woken in an all out panic attack is a lot more frequent than I like. Now each night before bed I use my ventolin puffer take an anti histamine and use a a nasal spray to clear my sinuses.Some of the dreams I get into with low oxy are so freaking scary and they are always the type that asks the question was that a dream or was that real,Ron.

    Howdy Ron
    That's the scary thing about this, is that it wasn't a nightmare. Once I heard that click of the door, I was wide awake, alert and ready to fight. It took quite sometime to calm down enough to get back to sleep. That's why hallucinatory side effects of cumulative medications came to mind.

    Something that just occurred to me is that during the Fall (mid Oct - mid Nov) I do get very bad and graphic PTSD related nightmares. Makes me wonder what they'll be like if the meds are causing hallucinations and/or more graphic nightmares.
  • steveandnat
    steveandnat Member Posts: 886
    #4
    weird dreams
    I get really weird dreams during my chemo sleep. Sometimes they wake me up because they are so strange. I think it is a combo of the chromosomal and pain killers. I think after sleeping so long the strange dreams is a way to wake me up. This stuff really does fl weird things. Jeff
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #5
    "I've Seen the Grim Reaper"
    That's a true story, Ray.

    I was in the hospital recovering from liver surgery. I had drifted off for a time and then awoke. The room was dimly light as the morning haze was trying to shine through the drawn blinds.

    I was laying down and turned my head to the left - my blood ran cold and I froze. There he was - exactly as advertised - The Grim Reaper.

    He was not turned towards me, rather he was across the room standing parallel to me facing the opposite wall. I thought this was rather odd - why was he facing away from me? What was the message?

    He looked very imposing and intimidating....my breathing got very shallow...somehow I convinced myself that he did not see me yet...and that if I lay here with the covers up to my nose, that he would not notice me and would eventually go away.

    He stood about eight-feet tall...he wore a black shroud, but the inside was lined in grey. I saw his bony hand wrapped around that sickle...or as Billy Bob Thornton's character would say, a "Slingblade."

    I could not see his skeleton face as he was turned away from me - but at that time, I didn't want to know...all I could think of was be still and lay quiet...I had few options.

    It was eerily silent as we played out this Mexican Stand-Off.

    Now, obviously, I was hallucinating out of my mind...but not the "tie you to the bedpost" kind of hallucination.....what I like to call "The Silent Lucidity."

    The staff had been "mashing" some pain meds together to get my pain under control and in addition, I probably had a sip or two off the morphine pump for good measure. I was pretty bombed but it all played itself out in real time.

    He was absolutely real - and looked real - as real as either you or me. It was a very haunting image. I wasn't sure if my name had been called...or he was just coming around to see when I would be ready...

    I must have lost consciousness after that - when I awoke, the corner was empty and he was gone. My wife intervened and stopped the drug train after that....

    I wrote about this in my book...it was freaky and quite frankly - unnerving. He's tried to get to me several times, but this was the first time that I had 'seen him.'

    "Image is Everything" as Andre Agassi and Canon used to say in the 80's.

    I had another 'vision' one night at home too...if you would like to read that story, here is the link to it - titled, "The Story of the Man They Call Big Billy"

    http://csn.cancer.org/?q=node/237886

    I think you might like the tale.

    Take care!

    -Craig
  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    #6
    Doc-Hawk
    That was indeed a weird one. The various chemicals we have put into us can cause unexpected results. LOL May your dreams be sweet as well.
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    #7
    steveandnat said:

    weird dreams
    I get really weird dreams during my chemo sleep. Sometimes they wake me up because they are so strange. I think it is a combo of the chromosomal and pain killers. I think after sleeping so long the strange dreams is a way to wake me up. This stuff really does fl weird things. Jeff

    The thing is
    The thing is, Jeff, that I was awake, sitting upright in bed. As I mentioned above, I get PTSD nightmares in the Fall that are pretty graphic and when I wake up screaming from those I recognize straight away that it was just a nightmare and not real.
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    #8
    Sundanceh said:

    "I've Seen the Grim Reaper"
    That's a true story, Ray.

    I was in the hospital recovering from liver surgery. I had drifted off for a time and then awoke. The room was dimly light as the morning haze was trying to shine through the drawn blinds.

    I was laying down and turned my head to the left - my blood ran cold and I froze. There he was - exactly as advertised - The Grim Reaper.

    He was not turned towards me, rather he was across the room standing parallel to me facing the opposite wall. I thought this was rather odd - why was he facing away from me? What was the message?

    He looked very imposing and intimidating....my breathing got very shallow...somehow I convinced myself that he did not see me yet...and that if I lay here with the covers up to my nose, that he would not notice me and would eventually go away.

    He stood about eight-feet tall...he wore a black shroud, but the inside was lined in grey. I saw his bony hand wrapped around that sickle...or as Billy Bob Thornton's character would say, a "Slingblade."

    I could not see his skeleton face as he was turned away from me - but at that time, I didn't want to know...all I could think of was be still and lay quiet...I had few options.

    It was eerily silent as we played out this Mexican Stand-Off.

    Now, obviously, I was hallucinating out of my mind...but not the "tie you to the bedpost" kind of hallucination.....what I like to call "The Silent Lucidity."

    The staff had been "mashing" some pain meds together to get my pain under control and in addition, I probably had a sip or two off the morphine pump for good measure. I was pretty bombed but it all played itself out in real time.

    He was absolutely real - and looked real - as real as either you or me. It was a very haunting image. I wasn't sure if my name had been called...or he was just coming around to see when I would be ready...

    I must have lost consciousness after that - when I awoke, the corner was empty and he was gone. My wife intervened and stopped the drug train after that....

    I wrote about this in my book...it was freaky and quite frankly - unnerving. He's tried to get to me several times, but this was the first time that I had 'seen him.'

    "Image is Everything" as Andre Agassi and Canon used to say in the 80's.

    I had another 'vision' one night at home too...if you would like to read that story, here is the link to it - titled, "The Story of the Man They Call Big Billy"

    http://csn.cancer.org/?q=node/237886

    I think you might like the tale.

    Take care!

    -Craig

    Big Billy
    I'll check it out, Craig. All that I could tell was that this was a sort of fuzzy black ovalish shape. But then again, with my vision everything is fuzzy when I have my glasses off.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #9
    danker said:

    Doc-Hawk
    That was indeed a weird one. The various chemicals we have put into us can cause unexpected results. LOL May your dreams be sweet as well.

    My daughter hallucinates
    My daughter hallucinates with sleeping pills. But then again, maybe something was there, ask them to leave...Really!

Discussion Boards