Need some encouragement

I was diagnosed with squamous cell cancer, unknown primary, in December of 2010. At the time, my PET CT scan showed a spot on the liver that was suspicious. A subsequent liver biopsy was negative, so the decision was made to do radiation. I had 33 sessions of radiation, and it was assumed I was cancer-free. My first three-month post-radiation PET showed that the spot on the liver had gotten bigger, and the next liver biopsy turned out to be positive for SCC -- it had obviously been there all along and had already metastasized. After seven rounds of chemo (carboplatin and taxol), I had a liver resection done at Sloan-Kettering. The pathology report was good -- they had gotten it all. Now, three months later, my CT scan (with contrast) has shown enlarged lymph nodes in the kidney area (pelvic/abomindal). I will have a biopsy done on July 16th. I point-blank asked my oncologist what his gut told him, and he said he thinks the cancer is back.

My question is: Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Is it possible the nodes could be enlarged for some other reason? I have not had a UTI recently (that I know of), so that was another reason he said he thinks it's cancer again.

I am trying to hold onto hope and to be positive. It has gotten me this far, and as you all know, it's been hell -- lost 35 pounds, sick as a dog through the radiation (throwing up from day one -- unable to eat anything from February through May -- even liquids made me sick), lost my hair during chemo, but did a whole lot better with it than radiation (not sick from it) -- the whole nine. You've all been there, done that, thrown away the t-shirt. The oncologist said if the nodes are positive, it'll mean more chemo. I don't know if I'm happy with that. I wonder if radiation might be more effective.

I would appreciate any and all input. I am more upset now than I have ever been throughout this ordeal -- believe it or not,I haven't cried once -- not even now, but I am THISCLOSE to it.

Thanks, everyone.