Saw the BS for follow up

salls41 said:

Thank You!
I appreciate your response!
I had a "talk" with myself this morning during my walk and basically told myself that no one is guaranteed tomorrow. So try to live for today and not worry about what if tomorrow!Enjoy the day I have.
Thanks again..

Always in the back of your mind...
When I was in remission with TNBC for 19 months it was always the elephant in the room...what if ? I actually was able to mostly not think about it..But it took time....I think I was more shocked when it came back....please don't think because mine came back that your's will...we're all different, even with the same type of bc..and Kylez is correct...unless you've walked in our shoes, you can't understand what we deal with.... not just physically but emotionally... My husband actually told my oncologist that I was depressed about 6 weeks ago...lol I had to laugh..said our 2 adult kids said I was depressed...news to me! Our son is a Psychologist and told his Dad I was depressed...even what I'm dealing with I never felt depressed...scared, yes...so to make everyone happy I went on Remeron..1 at bedtime...I have no idea if I'm still depressed...it makes me laugh...so laugh along with me..laughter is good for us....but it sure does knock me out and I sleep...

I'm actually doing well...I posted about " the best news I've had in a year"....my tumor marker numbers have gone from 98 in Feb..to 34 !!!! Normal range says my oncologist...so my chemo and the brain rads have done their thing!

I live my life and as crazy as it sounds, I don't think about having cancer.......I can't change a thing, it is what it is....I'm not allowing cancer to take one more day of my life worrying about it...yes, I had the best news in a year and I am thankful and grateful...

Give yourself time, as I said you've suffered a trauma both physically and emotionally....as time goes by, the what if's lesson....

Hugs...make it a great day, every day...
Nancy

ps
Whenever I see that picture of you with your daughter? with the ocean in the background I can almost smell the air and hear the sea gulls and the lapping of the waves. I can almost watch the clouds floating by and I want to thank God for such beauty in this sometimes difficult life.

salls41 said:

Daughters wedding
Thanks, the picture was taken in Pensacola Beach Fla. for daughters wedding. I had my "lump" right before we left for Fla and it got very sore when we were there. I knew I had to get to my doc soon and finally had my husband look at it the morning of the wedding because it was so sore.We both though cyst needing to be drained because it was so big and sore. Bitter sweet weekend now ... I was so thrilled she was having the wedding of her dreams (married on a beach in Fla) and the beginning of this crazy journey. But I like the picture because it reminds me life goes on and with God's blessing, I will be a part of it.

Life goes on...
Hi,

Like Rebecca stated, I also can hear the waves lapping the shore, smell the sea air and hear the gulls when seeing this photo. It's a beautiful one of your daughter smiling with happiness and of you.

As the years go by, you will feel more confident about the cancer and it will become easier. A breast cancer diagnose does make everyone a hostage to the disease. Your husband didn't have the disease and anyone who has knows that the reality is there, that it can return. One should remember that over 70% of women don't have a recurrence. Hopefully it won't return and you will go on enjoying life.

If it does, you deal with it in the same manner you dealt with it this time.

Wishing you the best,

Doris

CypressCynthia said:

It is very normal to be
It is very normal to be worried about a recurrence and, when you are having checkups, you may find you need extra help--either emotional support or pharmacological support.

Don't hesitate to ask your oncologist for something if you are too anxious. Oncologists are aware of a breast cancer survivor's increased risk of anxiety and or depression.

I find 1/2 of the lowest dose of lexapro works wonders for me. My sister, the psychiatrist, says it is not really a therapeutic dosage, but it really does the trick for me--especially seems to keep me more balanced when I am waiting on test results, etc. But be sure and ask your oncologist because some antidepressants/antianxiety medications are contraindicated depending on your disease.

It's just different and I don't know why
but it does get better. At least my anxiety/worry has as time has gone on with no recurrence. I am now more objective and less emotional. I could say all those things like we'll deal with it if it happens, they got it all, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, each day is a gift, blah, blah, blah, but I really couldn't feel it. Now 2 years after dx and 18 months after completing treatments I'm pretty much at peace with the situation.

In contrast, I've been hypertensive for many years (controlled on meds), have high cholesterol (also controlled by meds) and have a really strong family history of heart disease, but I've never gone off the deep end worrying about having a stroke or heart attack like I did with this cancer thing. I had to dc a diuretic several years ago because I developed gout (which can indicate kidney damage from the drug), but I don't worry about side effects of other meds I take and they, too, can have some serious side effects. I take them as prescribed without question. I've had stress ekgs and other tests to rule out serious things, and I go for regular follow ups, but don't get nervous about them. And frankly, I consider myself healthy. I seldom mention this or think about it.

But give me a dx of cancer, and treat me with poison and rads, then put me on an aromotase inhibitor and the worry and fret was and can be unbelievable.

And, should I develop anything heart related, I'll probably blame it on the chemo or rads. Stupid cancer just takes over so much of our thoughts!
It's just different.

Suzanne

CypressCynthia said:

It is very normal to be
It is very normal to be worried about a recurrence and, when you are having checkups, you may find you need extra help--either emotional support or pharmacological support.

Don't hesitate to ask your oncologist for something if you are too anxious. Oncologists are aware of a breast cancer survivor's increased risk of anxiety and or depression.

I find 1/2 of the lowest dose of lexapro works wonders for me. My sister, the psychiatrist, says it is not really a therapeutic dosage, but it really does the trick for me--especially seems to keep me more balanced when I am waiting on test results, etc. But be sure and ask your oncologist because some antidepressants/antianxiety medications are contraindicated depending on your disease.

We all worry and probably
We all worry and probably always will that it might come back. And, we especially get anxious right before any tests or exams. So, you are just like all the rest of us.

And, it's hard for those that don't have bc to understand. I know they try, but, they just can't. I think many just want to move on past it and forget it, but, we can't. There is no way we can.

Just live your life and if you need some help with anxiety, talk to your doctor about some meds.

Take care,

Diane