Break it to her gently?

Oh I remember when.....
In the beginning, when I'd been Dx'd, I came here and asked "was it possible for me to do this alone?". Many said no, some said that they'd been pretty much on their own, but from the middle of treatment on, they needed help from friends. I am SO grateful that I didn't try to do this on my own...I would have had to sleep in the parking lot at radiation from 3:00 everyday to 6:30 in order to drive the 6 miles home(keep in mind I was getting amifostine, and was very tired before I even went into radiation)...

Our Medical Center is a large campus, and the radiation place is on the other side from my Oncologist. On chemo days, they'd unhook me at chemo, then boot me out to go do rads, then I'd come back to finish chemo...so tho chemo and rads are given concurrently ... rads given during the same time span as chemo...you don't get them together on chemo days.

She might be able to go without help at home, but not without someone checking in on her several times a week. I know what she's thinking (I thought the same way)...but rads are so exhausting, and she hasn't a clue how tired she's going to be and how essential all the resting and sleeping are to get thru this.

I think if I were giving advice, I'd tell her how it was for me, and that everyone is different...but she might want to line some help out for possilbe need in the future...friends, family, etc.

p

what to do
Hi Grandmax4,

From what I know and what I’ve read (here) if chemo and radiation are given together you should plan for the bad side and be happy if it doesn’t get that bad. Even the most “gentle” of treatments may kick the heck out of you.

Driving, possible, not recommended. You need to gear up for treatments, leave the driving to someone else. This is a bad time to play the tough card and it could be dangerous. There are services to help you if needed, just ask.

Help at home, heck yes! If she thinks she is going to feel like doing anything other than sleep, good luck. I know some people here were able to keep working and I bless their ability, but you can not count on it.

After effects, surprise, you could line everyone up on this site and compare notes and while similar, we would be all over the map. Some are sleeping; some are awake, swallowing, not swallowing, lots of pain, no pain, etc…You can’t know until you cross that bridge.

Honesty and straight forwardness is the best policy. This more than likely will be rough and to be ready is a plus. Besides, what do her doctors say about all of this? Mine would have been concerned if I presented the scenario you have here.

Best of luck,

Matt

I'm currently going got the
I'm currently going got the James for my TX i also ihad a large tumor on the tonsil unopporable my plan is 2 treatments of chemo first week and third week and rads concurrently for 6 weeks total of 35 rd treatments

So this may be similar to what she will be experiencing. Driving it alone is doable but I'd rather get rides


Is she going to have a peg tube? I would recommend sendin her to this forum the James does great work but there are always things thahappenn that this board has been able to help me with that they didn't mention at the James.

Try not too feel to bad on the advice on doctor when i was fx i had everyone giving me advice and sometimes it was too Much to handle

My Experience...
Like Splinter mentioned, we are all over the place, but here's mine...

I had tonsil cancer and a secondary lump behind and lower to the ear (same side).

Tonsils were removed up front, then allowing time for chemo/rads results to decide if tumor removal (dissection was needed).

Port Installed
Nine weeks (three week cycles) of Cisplatin, Taxotere and 5FU. The first two were given on Monday and has mentioned, a big portion of the day was involved....(take a lunch).

After all and the end of the day, a pump full of the 5FU was strapped on (fanny pack), and ran through the port. That stayed on until it ran out Thursday night, then removed Friday morning at the center. I usually received hydration then as well.

The following Monday I would receive an injection of Neulasta a blood cell generator that acts within the bone morrow... the first week of that was like having a bad flu. All major bones were achy as the back and spine, but it only lasted that first week for the most part.

The remainder of the two weeks was just recovery, rest and whatever. I worked form home the entire sixteen weeks of treatment (computer related work).

The tumor actually shrank, dissolved whatever...never lit up again either, so no dissection.

Then I started con-current chemo/rads for seven weeks.

Carboplatin every Monday in the morning that lasted only a few hours. Then radiation every day, lasting maybe thirty minutes with only 12 - 15 for the actual IMRT radiation.

My wife always attended the big chemo sessions, and most of the smaller. I could have endured driving, but wouldn't want to unless I had no choice.

The days of radiation only, I drove myself to most all of those, no problems..even taking the Xanax for the first few was not a problem.

She may not actually NEED help at home, but it's always nice to have someone there. Even though I usually saw this as a love hate relationship, LOL...

I wanted someone with me, I just didn't want them with me...LOL. I was easily annoyed and pretty grumpy.

But half way through rads life does become more difficult. Eating sucks, strength is down, grump level is off the charts.

It's hard to do much of anything strenuous as you have minimal energy. It's mainly a time of sleeping, taking in hydration and calories, going to treatment, sleeping...repeat pretty much every day.

BTW, I don't think there is going to be a breaking to it gently...unfortunately it is what it is. Realizing that you have to be in survival mode as soon as possible is big.

So be understanding, but also stress the importance that this is life threating....you do what you have to do to survive. Both cancer and the treatment.

No need to make it any harder on yourself (her), than it's already going to be...

My experiences....
John