Normalcy

I see so many people posting that normalcy is what they seek.. that I thought I would share with you all the speech I gave back in January at the Relay Kick-Off dinner.. it is being published for a local med school to share with their students.. It is soley my feeling and thought and was aimed to make those not going thru this understand the need to find normalcy at times when things seem beyond our controll..

I hope you enjoy and I am sure you will relate..

2012 Relay for Life Kick Off Survivor Speech Parsippany, NJ

Thank you for inviting me to speak to the Relay Teams on behalf of the Survivors.
Cancer is a word- not a sentence.
• How many of you woke up this morning looked in the mirror… said...my hair is growing? Or I look pretty good today…. You may be a Cancer Survivor…
• Made coffee - poured a bowl of cereal started to pour milk and then hmmm smelled the milk… You might be a Cancer Survivor….
• Started to get dressed and thought hmm….. Do these pants fit… is this shirt too big… and can I walk in these shoes…? You could be a Cancer Survivor….
• Put your coat on and made sure you had gloves and a scarf as cold is just overbearing these days… You just might too be a Cancer Survivor…
Thou God Forbid I truly Hope that no one here has to ever be told they have cancer. Christopher Reeves said, “Once you have Hope anything is possible” and isn’t that why we are here today to turn our Hope into infinite possibilities. So that you and I never have hear the word Cancer again in regard to anyone anywhere.
But honestly I am no different than any of you… with the exception that I see my doctors more often… and have a few more tests completed. Cancer Survivors live the same life you do and you may be sitting next to a survivor and not know it... Here, at work, in a dinner, in traffic, at the mall or in church.
Thankfully I can say today I feel well and look forward to getting good reports from all my doctors. It’s been a year since I was diagnosed with Cancer - Rectal Cancer Stage 3, unfortunate that was not the first time I had to hear those words “You have Cancer” in 2007 I had Thyroid Cancer and possibly that experience was just a practice play for what the last year has brought me. They refer to Thyroid Cancer as the good cancer – it has a 97% cure and survival rate. And the treatment is not what you think of as chemo and radiation therapies. Most patients never even see a cancer doctor or Oncologist. So when this latest cancer hit me finding a surgeon, oncologist and radiation oncologist I was truly learning why they always said Thyroid cancer was the good cancer...
Thou no cancer can truly be a good cancer. I was about to experience Cancer the way you see it in movies and on TV... With Radiation and Chemo.
I was very lucky I had assembled a great team of medical professionals who were going to get me thru this obviously not unscarred but successfully.
What exactly is considered success…?
• The shrinking of the cancer,
• The removal of the cancer…
• No additional growth of the cancer,
• normal blood levels
• Normal energy level... and
• The return to normalcy...
I did research on my own – I turned to the internet– when I was diagnosed to understand fully what I had and how it is treated – and what questions to ask. (ACS, WebMD, Mayo Clinic, Cancer Care, cautiously reading blogs and chats) Some will say it isn’t good to look at the internet at times like this but in my case it gave me confidence that I understood what was going to occur. You have to balance what you find on the internet with what your doctors tell you. My life was going to be changing in ways I never thought about. I was going to experience treatments that kill cancer and obviously make changes to my normalcy…
• Radiation Burns,
• Sensory changes – Taste, Hot and Cold,
• Neuropathy’s,
• Energy levels,
• Sleeping and eating habits -
• Possibly the way I appear to others -hair loss, fragilities, walking.
• Anatomy changes,
• Thoughts, Depression, Chemo Brian...
What was I looking at experiencing...? I needed to know... and I needed my assembled team to help me understand and I needed them to understand too which parts for me were going to be difficult to get thru and advise how to cope and minimize any side effects and changes that were occurring. I asked questions at every appointment.
• Would radiation hurt,
• Would chemo hurt?
• Would I have tan lines?
• How the surgery was performed – what was going to be removed
• How long should it take for me to learn how to handle my anatomy changes?
• I wanted to know why I was so tired,
• Why my finger and feet tingled and later became numb.
• And most of all - When to expect improvements or the return to Normalcy.
Success can only be accomplished when a patient understands the treatment plans and the effects that they will experience during these plans. And when doctor, nurses and therapists also understand what the patient is experiencing and feeling. This can only be accomplished when there is a clear line of communication. It is important for patients to be proactive in the plans along with their doctors. Asking questions and letting doctors and other know what they are thinking and feeling about the plan and as the effect occur- as everyone has their own experience and sense of what normalcy is for them. And making sure the answers you receive are understandable. And Timely… I had a doctor that gave me her email address and from my handy smart phone I emailed her whenever I had a question and she always emailed me back within the hour. She also checked on me everyday sometimes more than once to make sure I was comfortable and everything was going as planned. What more could a patient ask for.
Realistically I understand the state of minds may be cloudy as Cancer is scary. I won’t lie. It is easy to hear cancer in relation to someone else but not yourself and not someone you love. It may be a care giver that needs to ask questions and understand answers and research on behalf of a patient and the care giver must truly communicate on behalf of the patient from their observations. And not their emotions so something to consider maybe an advocate.
I also needed friends and family to understand that I was still Donna and that this wasn’t going to break me. I have truly been an independent person and was planning to be so always. I had friend and family that visited me often in the hospital. I was going to have to adjust some things in my life and that I may need some help doing everyday things for awhile. Shopping, Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry. It was going to be very difficult for me to ask for assistance and accept it. I had friends who helped me through my life changes. I have a friend who had a caterer delivery me meals, others who shopped and cooked for me and helped me with laundry and household stuff.
Some say I have been inspirational thru this... Stronger than they feel they could have been. I just see it as doing what I had to do. I went through this with faith and some fear to be honest... but knowing that others had faith and faith was going to bring me thru this both mentally and physically.- literally I had people from all areas of the globe praying for me - I work with for a global company and I work with people all over the world .. While some will say it was modern medicine that brought me thru this –I truly believe it was the both- modern medicine and faith. Understanding the procedures and treatments helped. Knowledge is key to getting thru cancer. Understanding the what’s and the why’s of the treatments and having faith in myself, the doctors I chose and God made it easier.
I was very lucky I experienced minimal side effects- though all I mentioned I experienced in some degrees. My surgeries were successful. I am healing both physically and mentally today. I have to learn what my new Normalcy is. And Hope that I never have to endure these treatments and side effects again.
And just for the record my new normalcy is pretty normal thanks to my doctor and nurses and the faith of everyone. I sleep, eat, work, do household chores and go to the gym pretty much the same as everyone here.
May you all have healthy and productive lives and may Relay for Life make life easier for those stricken with Cancer and their Caregivers. May someday there be a world where the word Cancer is never heard.
And may all our mornings to come be the same as always
- just without the doubt that Cancer is making us question our normal morning activities.
I found this quote and while it describes how I feel about this how I have lived the last year. I believe it is also fitting with the theme of Relay this year.
“You can’t smooth the surf, but can learn to ride the waves”
Thank you.

If you made it to the end of this post.. Thanks for reading this far.. Sorry it was so long.. It was really fun to deliver this speech... and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
We all have hope and Normalcy is my ultimare goal.