It's been a while

Court_Ren
Court_Ren Member Posts: 27
in Esophageal Cancer #1
Well I have been a way for a little while, but I am back. It has been a little bumpy for my husband lately. So when I last left off we had found out it was in his lungs. Well on June 4 he will have another scan to see if the third line of chemo is or is not working. The last one they had him on Taxotere did nothing at all. That chemo didn't work for him. The lessions in the liver got bigger, and the lungs too. The loaded question "Well how long do I have" came up and it is always so comforting to hear a Dr. say "well you could drop over in the parking lot" " So I really don't know due to your age, and general well being". Since he has it in his lungs he could end up with a blood clot, and then lights out. Oh joy. I have felt like I am going crazy lately worrying about him 24 7. I know I have no control over what happens to him, but what if he is home with my daughter and something happens to him? I know I am worry about things that are not in my control but I can't help it. Please share your thoughts. I hope all is well with the rest of you guys and gals.

Comments

  • TerryV
    TerryV Member Posts: 887
    #2
    I'm without words
    All I can say is I am SO Sorry! Prayers to you and your husband.

    Terry
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #3
    every time
    I do know how you feel, hubby dx 2008 (Dec) then had chemo, rads , everything looked good till Dec that year. So chemo again worked for while. then another chemo and another chemo, his cancer spread tp him lungs. Every day is a worry. I can not help my self. I worry if he eats to much or to little. I worry about everything.
    So I do get it. I know I can not control what will or might happen but it is what I do best.
    I think trying harder to take it one day at a time. and enjoy the good dys. My hubby is now on a trail drug! So who knows maybe this is the one that will work. We really never know.
    Wish I knew what to say to help you , but I think some of us just worry ...

    Jennie
  • JReed
    JReed Member Posts: 428
    #4
    Your feelings must be very normal and common
    I am thinking that what you are feeling and thinking is probably pretty darned close to what each caregiver feels. I feel so much like you do and it's too darned difficult to even go into it with 'normal' people. Here, we all speak the same language and we 'get it'.

    We are are here for you anytime you need and venting on here is perfectly fine and expected. They have let me vent plenty of times - the frustrations with this cancer are just too much at times.

    Hang in there and come back anytime to cheer, vent, cry, give advice or whatever you feel like doing - that's why we are all here!

    Hugs,
    Judy
  • Court_Ren
    Court_Ren Member Posts: 27
    #5
    TerryV said:

    I'm without words
    All I can say is I am SO Sorry! Prayers to you and your husband.

    Terry

    Thanks Terry it really does
    Thanks Terry it really does suck. He is having a hard time getting things to go down his EC dang it. He had a CT scan this morning Wed we find out what is going on. Hope it is good news, but I have to be realistic. This could be an awful apt. Wed is also Chemo day. All day. Yuck I feel so sorry for him that that is how he has to spend his whole day. I know why he keep trying but I am scared that it may be for nothing. I know I seem kinda negative right now, I am just scared.
  • Guigna
    Guigna Member Posts: 63
    #6
    Court_Ren said:

    Thanks Terry it really does
    Thanks Terry it really does suck. He is having a hard time getting things to go down his EC dang it. He had a CT scan this morning Wed we find out what is going on. Hope it is good news, but I have to be realistic. This could be an awful apt. Wed is also Chemo day. All day. Yuck I feel so sorry for him that that is how he has to spend his whole day. I know why he keep trying but I am scared that it may be for nothing. I know I seem kinda negative right now, I am just scared.

    it is really scary
    there are a lot of us in the same boat. my husband doesn't mind chemo day, as they give him enough drugs that he feels pretty good while he's there. but yes, when and how will it happen? VERY scary indeed.

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