HPV-transferrable

Ganeva
Ganeva Member Posts: 3
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
I have been asking and researching whether HPV+ can be transferred to your partner. After my husband was diagnosed, I went to my gynecologist and was tested. I was HPV+, high risk. I was worried if I passed it on to him or if he passed it on to me. And now since we are both positive, what happens about passing it back and forth. I am getting so many conflicting answers. Does anyone know anything about this? Of course this isn't my main concern. I will just have a pap test twice a year to check for cervical cancer and throat cancer. What about sex during treatment?

I also want some ideas of what to do to support my husband without appearing as a wife who doesn't trust him re: his treatment. I want to be there to support and check in re: meds, eating etc. He does not like for people to ask him if he is eating. So I stopped. I just notice when I am with him.

Any ideas from those going through the treatment or their partners?

Thanks,
Ganeva

Comments

  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    #2
    what I've learned
    The best information have read to date is from a sexual practices journal, titled, "Is oral sex really a dangerous carcinogen? lets take a closer look" Sara E. Rosenquist, PHD, ABPP. The link was provided by a smart fellow on this board and can be found in a recent thread here entitled "oral sex'. The jist of the article states the following, "The mere presence of HPV does not determine cancer risk even when several high risk strains are present in the same person... Indeed , HPV related cancers require compromise of the natural virus clearing function of a healthy immune system in order to proliferate...HPV should not be a cause for concern among monogamous couples with a rich and varied sex life as long as the sexual system remains closed and other immune compromising factors are not present...HPV becomes a concern in the context of immune system compromise and infection persistence."

    This is but a snippet of the article and it convinced me to get back to a normal sex life. Your questions are very valid and the answers are hard to find. My spouse actually has a history of cervical dysplasia but is HPV negative as was I at the time of testing. cases will be very individualized. I think it's important to remember that the virus will come and go, wax and wane, clear itself from the body. Persistence infection and low immune system appear to be a necessary factor for infection???????. It's a tough call as oral sex in my personal opinion is a very human behavior. Absent a positive test I choose to be human today. Good luck in your quest.
  • amy_h414
    amy_h414 Member Posts: 98
    #3
    i am also a caregiver
    I ask my husband if he's eaten and he may not like it, but hasn't said anything. He does roll his eyes at me on occasion. I worry about "mothering" him too much. It's tough. I dont have any suggestions really, because I'm in the same boat!
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #4
    ratface said:

    what I've learned
    The best information have read to date is from a sexual practices journal, titled, "Is oral sex really a dangerous carcinogen? lets take a closer look" Sara E. Rosenquist, PHD, ABPP. The link was provided by a smart fellow on this board and can be found in a recent thread here entitled "oral sex'. The jist of the article states the following, "The mere presence of HPV does not determine cancer risk even when several high risk strains are present in the same person... Indeed , HPV related cancers require compromise of the natural virus clearing function of a healthy immune system in order to proliferate...HPV should not be a cause for concern among monogamous couples with a rich and varied sex life as long as the sexual system remains closed and other immune compromising factors are not present...HPV becomes a concern in the context of immune system compromise and infection persistence."

    This is but a snippet of the article and it convinced me to get back to a normal sex life. Your questions are very valid and the answers are hard to find. My spouse actually has a history of cervical dysplasia but is HPV negative as was I at the time of testing. cases will be very individualized. I think it's important to remember that the virus will come and go, wax and wane, clear itself from the body. Persistence infection and low immune system appear to be a necessary factor for infection???????. It's a tough call as oral sex in my personal opinion is a very human behavior. Absent a positive test I choose to be human today. Good luck in your quest.

    My Feelings As Well...
    I feel from what I've read, that not only HPV, but we are exposed to all kinds of potentially deadly diseases and germs routinely in our lives.

    Most of the time our bodies clear them, occasionally with a compromised immune system, it doesn't.

    You stay aware, practice good hygene and healthy life styles, and I believe that should help minimalize it, but you can't live in a bubble.

    JG
  • Jennjallen67
    Jennjallen67 Member Posts: 22
    #5
    amy_h414 said:

    i am also a caregiver
    I ask my husband if he's eaten and he may not like it, but hasn't said anything. He does roll his eyes at me on occasion. I worry about "mothering" him too much. It's tough. I dont have any suggestions really, because I'm in the same boat!

    Caregiver old hat
    I hovered in the beginning and he got testy. So I backed off a little and let him tell me how he was doing eating and drink wise. That was my first mistake. After two days of him telling me everything is okay, that he is eating and drinking fine, he freaks out when I get home from work that he hasn't eaten in two days and has hardly drank anything. He had a feeding tube placed early so this was when he had to make the decision to use it full time. It was a rough two weeks getting it regulated with a trip to the hospital in between because of his second chemo treatment. But we finally got it working well. And he now listens (occassionally) to me when it comes to his medicine and his water and food intake. Even when they get cranky, remind them you are there to keep them alive. There job is to live. My husband is now a month out from treatment and is getting better. He still stuggles with eating and drinking and still uses the tube for half of his calorie intake. It takes a long time to get better and you need to remind them to take it slow. Which my husband has not done and so has had some set backs. Hopefully his latest set backwill teach him to take it slow.
  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #6
    Jennjallen67 said:

    Caregiver old hat
    I hovered in the beginning and he got testy. So I backed off a little and let him tell me how he was doing eating and drink wise. That was my first mistake. After two days of him telling me everything is okay, that he is eating and drinking fine, he freaks out when I get home from work that he hasn't eaten in two days and has hardly drank anything. He had a feeding tube placed early so this was when he had to make the decision to use it full time. It was a rough two weeks getting it regulated with a trip to the hospital in between because of his second chemo treatment. But we finally got it working well. And he now listens (occassionally) to me when it comes to his medicine and his water and food intake. Even when they get cranky, remind them you are there to keep them alive. There job is to live. My husband is now a month out from treatment and is getting better. He still stuggles with eating and drinking and still uses the tube for half of his calorie intake. It takes a long time to get better and you need to remind them to take it slow. Which my husband has not done and so has had some set backs. Hopefully his latest set backwill teach him to take it slow.

    Hmmmmm.....
    I guess I'm not sure how to say it from a man's point of view ...but I know I tried to tell my wife all was okay because I felt like such a burden ...she would ask 1 maybe 2 times...apparently knew me well enough to know I was just trying to protect her...then she would just look at me and say..."well, I love you and I want you to let me feel a part of helping you get better, so move over"...then she would just feed me through my tube, rub my shoulder, put ointment on my neck or do whatever was needed even though I would "gruff" at her that "I was fine" "I got It" "no, I don't need help" ...

    ...I think she was pretty darn smart in hindsight ...no matter how grumpy, frustrated or tired I was ...she just would say "well, I love you and you need to let me play a part in helping you get better" ...worked everytime she said.... :):)

    And I will admit I was truly glad she pushed it ...because I really did not want to put her out and I really did not want to be a burden but I knew I needed the help...just like a stubborn guy with directions ...we don't always want to ask....

    ... :):) I truly have the most wonderful wife ...and I still hurt for what I put her through....but I'm glad she is as strong and smart as she is ...and the way you ladies sound, I bet you are much like my wife :)

    Tim
  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #7
    Jennjallen67 said:

    Caregiver old hat
    I hovered in the beginning and he got testy. So I backed off a little and let him tell me how he was doing eating and drink wise. That was my first mistake. After two days of him telling me everything is okay, that he is eating and drinking fine, he freaks out when I get home from work that he hasn't eaten in two days and has hardly drank anything. He had a feeding tube placed early so this was when he had to make the decision to use it full time. It was a rough two weeks getting it regulated with a trip to the hospital in between because of his second chemo treatment. But we finally got it working well. And he now listens (occassionally) to me when it comes to his medicine and his water and food intake. Even when they get cranky, remind them you are there to keep them alive. There job is to live. My husband is now a month out from treatment and is getting better. He still stuggles with eating and drinking and still uses the tube for half of his calorie intake. It takes a long time to get better and you need to remind them to take it slow. Which my husband has not done and so has had some set backs. Hopefully his latest set backwill teach him to take it slow.

    The difference between caretaking a man and caretaking
    a woman is probably one of those mysteries between Mars and Venus. My husband says I'm easy....he tells me to eat, I do....he asks if I want fresh water, and gets it...then says "drink some"...and I do. I have never thought of crabbing at him, cuz I know this nurturing thing doesn't come natually to him...and he's doing the best he knows how (and to me, it's a LOT).

    If the shoe was on the other foot, however....I'm afraid gruff and cranky would be the mood for most days. I'd either be taking too much care of him, or not enough (like you, Jenn)...I'd have to find that invisible middle ground. This would not mean that after treatment was over, that he'd wouldn't be grateful.......he would! Just the "during" would be rough.

    As for the HPV, I don't know....everything you read is so conflicted. I do know you shouldn't have sex or even swap spit right after chemo....Dr. told me that right up front. You don't want any of his chemo getting into you...and it can via mucous membranes.

    p

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