scared to swallow... although I am cleared for thin liquids

Klynten
Klynten Member Posts: 29
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Hello All

Things are so much better than my last few post's. I am about 2 months out of treatment, give or take a week or so (I can't remember exactly). My mucous is soo much better, pain is way better and I do more today than I did 2 weeks ago so that is progress. My fatigue is pretty persistent and weakness comes with that but I am learning how to pace myself and push myself little bits.

Well I went and saw a speech pathologist, she evaluated my swallow and stated that she was surprised how strong my swallow was, but did mention that I had a issue with my tongue, but it wasn't bad. She started me on thickened fluids but I have a pretty nasty aversion to thick fluids, I seem to vomit as soon as they enter my mouth. So I convinced her to let me try thin liquids, so she evaluated me with thin liquids and I did well. Very small drinks and I had to swallow a few times to feel like I got it all down. She ok'd me to drink thin clear liquids and slowly progress to full liquids as I got more confidence in my swallow.

Well that was 2 weeks ago and I have swallowed water maybe twice. I am super scared to swallow. My pain isn't bad, it is purely related to mucous and dry mouth. I am afraid of swallowing the gross crap I cough and spit up. And after all, the feeding tube is so convenient.

Anyways, anyone have tips for over comming the anxiety that sometimes comes with healing and trying to get back to normal. I guess I am finally used to being sick, and the change from sick to recovery is hard to take that first step. I obviously am moving forward but this issue seems to be a stickin piont for me. Also I have terrible food envy.

Thanks in advance
Clinton
Waashington State

Comments

  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #2
    Glad You're Improving
    Very good the speech pathologist commented favorably on your swallow. I was very fearful of losing my swallow during treatment (even though I did exercises, and did manage to drink at least some water every day).
    I am wondering if the texture of thickened liquids reminds you of "throat gunk". It makes sense to me that the thought of swallowing it would repulse you - I was in the box-of-Puffs-everywhere-I-go club - the notion of swallowing that (or even trying to) was foul.

    Have you tried swishing, gargling and spitting just before drinking? Keep making progress.
  • George_Baltimore
    George_Baltimore Member Posts: 303
    #3
    Swallow, swallow, swallow
    I would give anything to be able swallow right now but I can't due to an esophageal stricture. Please, please, please do yourself a favor and try, try, try! You mentioned about mouth dryness. When I could swallow, I actually found that water dryed my mouth and throat out. Luckily, I have always been a big milk drinker. That tended to soothe everything rather than dry things out. I mean good old whole milk, not the reduced fat kind. If you like milk or can tolerate it, ask your therapist if that is okay. It worked for me.
  • Laralyn
    Laralyn Member Posts: 532
    #4
    George_Baltimore said:

    Swallow, swallow, swallow
    I would give anything to be able swallow right now but I can't due to an esophageal stricture. Please, please, please do yourself a favor and try, try, try! You mentioned about mouth dryness. When I could swallow, I actually found that water dryed my mouth and throat out. Luckily, I have always been a big milk drinker. That tended to soothe everything rather than dry things out. I mean good old whole milk, not the reduced fat kind. If you like milk or can tolerate it, ask your therapist if that is okay. It worked for me.

    Have you tried ice chips?
    I saw a post from someone else here who said he/she takes ice chips and holds them in her mouth until they melt. I think that might make the swallowing easier because you're not drinking. You could start with one small chip and let it melt and not even swallow--just let your mouth absorb the water. Then keep doing that until you reach the point that you swallow that tiny amount of water.
  • jtl
    jtl Member Posts: 456
    #5
    I can only say that it is
    I can only say that it is critical that you use the swallowing muscles or your recovery will be longer than necessary. I avoided the PEG but I consumed a lot of homemade creamy soups. They went down easy, had a refreshing taste and most of all I avoided the sodium which really irratated my throat. My wife made the soups in a Vitamix but there are other ways to make them creamy. Good Luck!
    John
  • Ingrid K
    Ingrid K Member Posts: 813
    #6
    jtl said:

    I can only say that it is
    I can only say that it is critical that you use the swallowing muscles or your recovery will be longer than necessary. I avoided the PEG but I consumed a lot of homemade creamy soups. They went down easy, had a refreshing taste and most of all I avoided the sodium which really irratated my throat. My wife made the soups in a Vitamix but there are other ways to make them creamy. Good Luck!
    John

    ice chips or crushed ice
    Definitely try the crushed ice ! It worked for me..not big chips with rough edges though. Ice that is crushed like sno-cone style was a big lifesaver for me.... my hubby would put a few ice cubes in a plastic bag and pound them with a hammer.....he finally went out and bought me a Sno-Cone maker ($30 at Bed, Bath & Beyond). It kept me swallowing, but nice small amounts of water. It was a lot easier than dealing with a mouthful of water. From there, I graduated to actually sipping from a cup... but be patient, it does take a while... you will know when you are ready.
  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #7
    Ingrid K said:

    ice chips or crushed ice
    Definitely try the crushed ice ! It worked for me..not big chips with rough edges though. Ice that is crushed like sno-cone style was a big lifesaver for me.... my hubby would put a few ice cubes in a plastic bag and pound them with a hammer.....he finally went out and bought me a Sno-Cone maker ($30 at Bed, Bath & Beyond). It kept me swallowing, but nice small amounts of water. It was a lot easier than dealing with a mouthful of water. From there, I graduated to actually sipping from a cup... but be patient, it does take a while... you will know when you are ready.

    Ingrid......I'm adding this little piece of info
    to my notepad of "things for the future".......a snowcone maker for ice.

    Clinton, it's one day at a time...everyday you swallow something...anything...is a day closer to being better. Anxiety is fear, and fear is false evidence appearing real. Push youself, but don't RUSH yourself...does that make sense? You don't have to drink a whole cup, you're working on it slow and sure.

    p

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