Anxiety over selling his car

slg
slg Member Posts: 200
in Caregivers #1
I know it's the right thing to do but I am having anxiety over selling my husband's car this week. It's financially the right thing to do. He hadn't driven since June and I don't even like the car. I have been paying car insurance since then too so it doesn't make sense to keep it in the driveway.
That is the only thing that I was planning on getting rid of at the moment. I don't want to empty out the closets or his dresser yet either.
I thought the hardest was taking care of him, watching him deteriorate or watch him die but this is right up there!!!

Comments

  • northa914
    northa914 Member Posts: 100
    #2
    Non-op Registration
    If you're not ready just yet to let go of your husband's vehicle, check with your state's motor vehicles department and ask about the requirements to designate his car as non-operational. Depending on your state's regulations, you may not have to pay for registration renewal or insurance. The car will still need to be started and perhaps moved occasionally and have its fluid levels maintained to avoid certain parts seizing up, but it will give you more time until you are ready to let it go. Hope this helps! Take care, you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

    Andrea
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #3
    Grandma Fay
    Seems like there was something about a car in Fay's words of wisdom.

    But, I agree. Don't feel pushed to make the decision too quickly. Maybe you need a second car for emergencies? There are places that take cars as donations (for single moms needing a bit of help and things like that). Tax write-off the next year, too, for donating it.

    I know this is hard, slg. Hang in there.

    Hugs.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #4
    Be patient, but I do think
    Be patient, but I do think there is a limitt to when oit is unhealthy to hold on. One of my friends' fathers died and his mom wouldn't let anyone clean his bathroom or the room for months. This sounds benign, but the bed sheets, trash, diapers, etc started to stink. They finally had to call the minister.I think you do things in your own time.
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #5
    disconnecting phone
    I think the terrible finality of it all hides in unexpected places, like your husband's car. Have you seen the movie Bonneville? Check it out: storyline is widow doesn't want to get rid of husband's car. It's a wonderful movie.

    My sister in law says she was doing okay after her mother's death, but crumpled the day she had her mother's phone disconnected.
  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    #6
    Not a bad website re: Grief
    I found this video and website relating to grief in response
    to a post I made to someone dealing with the holidays coming up, etc.
    on a different board.

    Moving on Past Grief:
    =====================

    Moving on past grief


    It covers these topics:

    How do I move past my grief in a healthy way?
    What is 'journaling' and how can it help me grieve?
    What are some common 'triggers' of grief?
    How do I get through the holidays without my loved one?
    Is it healthy to hang on to my loved one's belongings?
    How do I fill the gap my loved one has left in my life?
    How long is considered 'too long' to grieve?

    The main site below has several topics related to grief/bereavement:
    ====================================================================

    Bereavement


    There's no right or wrong way in dealing with this and it's pretty individual.
    You don't have to dispose of the car right away but it makes no sense to insure
    it if it's not being driven. If you have a relative who needs a vehicle, you might
    give it to them or sell it very reasonably when you are ready.
    Big hugs,

    Jim
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #7
    Noellesmom said:

    Grandma Fay
    Seems like there was something about a car in Fay's words of wisdom.

    But, I agree. Don't feel pushed to make the decision too quickly. Maybe you need a second car for emergencies? There are places that take cars as donations (for single moms needing a bit of help and things like that). Tax write-off the next year, too, for donating it.

    I know this is hard, slg. Hang in there.

    Hugs.

    Name
    I saw my name and thought I should comment. I have read a number of posts over the last few years about cars. We all have similar stories. We all seem to wonder about what we should sell, give away, even throw away and when. When is too soon; when is not soon enough. Like everything else we deal with there are no rules. Whatever we do there will probably be people who disagree with our choices. Just do what is right for you. If you are having anxiety over it, maybe the time isn't right. On the other hand, selling it might relieve anxiety. It does get a little easier with time. I keep reminding myself that Doug's things are just stuff. Some I keep because I want to. That's my choice. Selling and giving away other stuff is right for me as well. I'm entitled to that choice, too. Sound a little selfish? That's ok. We need to take care of ourselves now. Hugs, Fay
  • slg
    slg Member Posts: 200
    #8
    jimwins said:

    Not a bad website re: Grief
    I found this video and website relating to grief in response
    to a post I made to someone dealing with the holidays coming up, etc.
    on a different board.

    Moving on Past Grief:
    =====================

    Moving on past grief


    It covers these topics:

    How do I move past my grief in a healthy way?
    What is 'journaling' and how can it help me grieve?
    What are some common 'triggers' of grief?
    How do I get through the holidays without my loved one?
    Is it healthy to hang on to my loved one's belongings?
    How do I fill the gap my loved one has left in my life?
    How long is considered 'too long' to grieve?

    The main site below has several topics related to grief/bereavement:
    ====================================================================

    Bereavement


    There's no right or wrong way in dealing with this and it's pretty individual.
    You don't have to dispose of the car right away but it makes no sense to insure
    it if it's not being driven. If you have a relative who needs a vehicle, you might
    give it to them or sell it very reasonably when you are ready.
    Big hugs,

    Jim

    Your post
    Thank you, Jim, for your post. I have to apologize that I just read this today. I have not been in this particular section for quite some time. Grief is a very Long journey that I have been on but not nearly done with. I will definately check out the site you recommended.
  • angela.barnes38
    angela.barnes38 Member Posts: 15
    #9
    jimwins said:

    Not a bad website re: Grief
    I found this video and website relating to grief in response
    to a post I made to someone dealing with the holidays coming up, etc.
    on a different board.

    Moving on Past Grief:
    =====================

    Moving on past grief


    It covers these topics:

    How do I move past my grief in a healthy way?
    What is 'journaling' and how can it help me grieve?
    What are some common 'triggers' of grief?
    How do I get through the holidays without my loved one?
    Is it healthy to hang on to my loved one's belongings?
    How do I fill the gap my loved one has left in my life?
    How long is considered 'too long' to grieve?

    The main site below has several topics related to grief/bereavement:
    ====================================================================

    Bereavement


    There's no right or wrong way in dealing with this and it's pretty individual.
    You don't have to dispose of the car right away but it makes no sense to insure
    it if it's not being driven. If you have a relative who needs a vehicle, you might
    give it to them or sell it very reasonably when you are ready.
    Big hugs,

    Jim

    Hey Jim it’s a great link.
    Hey Jim it’s a great link. Nice video.

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