First time poster

Faith1122
Faith1122 Member Posts: 46
Hello all! This is my story. I am 42 married with a 4 & a 6 1/2 year old. 1 year ago today I had a hysterectomy for a condition called adenomyosis. My uterus was swollen from scar tissue from 3 abdominal surgeries (2 being c-sections)& I tried 6 months of lupron that didn't work. It was a big surgery, I was cut hip to hip but the condition was so painful that I thought I would just get through the surgery & be done with dr.'s & hospitals. 6 months later pre cancer cells were found in my right breast. While those were being biopsied a small tumor was found that ended up being non invasive ductal carcinoma that never showed up on a mammography. I went back in for a sentinel lymph node biopsy that was negative. I am the 7th woman in my family diagnosed & opted for a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Surgery was scheduled but had to be rescheduled because I got sick with pneumonia . Cat scan done for pneumonia showed 2- 4 inch cysts on my ovary. Sono & blood test for that & the dr concluded they were ovulation cysts. Masectomy was done in Feb. reconstruction started & 2 weeks ago 1 expander started to turn so I had to go back in for surgery last week to have expander replaced & now I have a drain again. All this while taking care of my kids mainly by myself. I have been strong & watched my thirty year old cousin die from BC. Lost another close friend to pancreatic cancer last year. I know I am one of the lucky ones. I don't need chemo or radiation but this last unexpected surgery has just sent me into a depression. Worse then the initial mastectomy. I have every day stress to take care of & I have had 5 surgeries in 1 year. I know it can be worse but I just want to be normal again. Sorry for venting so much, just having a bad day.

Comments

  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    Faith1122, you are WELCOME to vent!
    It's needed and it's good to get it out. You have had to deal with a lot, especially within a year! And to have little ones to care for on top of it all. I hope you have a good support system of family and friends. You certainly have us all rallying around you. I hope and pray it's all uphill from here.

    Sending you hugs,

    Sylvia
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    Welcome. So sorry you had to
    Welcome. So sorry you had to join us but glad you are here. There is a lot of support here. We actually have a clue what you are going through.

    Given the number of surgeries you've had depression is not so shocking. If this continues beyond a month or so please see your doctor. There are short term solutions that can keep you from having a long term problem with depression.
  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
    Vent away
    There is always someone better off and worse off than ourselves. But it is what is happening to now, at any degree which is important. It reminds me of those silly people who say, why are you depressed when you have nothing to be depressed about, cheer up. You have and are going through a host of stuff. Do you have any support, it sounds you could do with some. I think you have coped very well but enough is enough. Friends can be a great help if you have the courage to ask for a little assistance, perhaps with the children or cooking etc. I didn't need to but my husband was very good and my kids are not at home now and I am very lucky that I dont work. But feel much admiration for those who do. Take care and I hope you see light at the end of the tunnel soon. Wishing you well.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    welcome and so sorry for
    welcome and so sorry for what you are going through! My thoughts are with you! I hope you have someone who can help you with the kids! As much as non of us want to ask for help or admit we need help..we have to bite the bullet! AT one point I told friends/ family who offer this or that ..dont' say it if you don't mean it because I DO NOT take people up on offers...and I have!

    I"LL be thinking of you...and reserve the pink bus as needed

    Denise
  • tufi000
    tufi000 Member Posts: 745 Member
    Been there
    Your struggle is real and though others may have it worse it does not lessen your pain. Please talk to your docs, they can help with little meds. I do not know where you are located, but I am isolated where I am and cannot take advantage of the support offered by the Amer Cancer Society and my cancer center. Check it out at your hosp or call them. Though I am reluctant to reach out for help, I did when the "bad days" became black holes.
    You are not alone
  • Faith1122
    Faith1122 Member Posts: 46
    tufi000 said:

    Been there
    Your struggle is real and though others may have it worse it does not lessen your pain. Please talk to your docs, they can help with little meds. I do not know where you are located, but I am isolated where I am and cannot take advantage of the support offered by the Amer Cancer Society and my cancer center. Check it out at your hosp or call them. Though I am reluctant to reach out for help, I did when the "bad days" became black holes.
    You are not alone

    Thank you!
    Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I had my drain taken out today so I feel more human. I have a great support system but my husband works until 11pm 5 days a week & has no paid days off & my mom is 70 & just retired & lives 40 minutes away but helps me out whenever she can. My closest friends are 30 - 40 minutes away & also help when they can but being a mom most of the kids stuff falls on me. Today is def a better day then yesterday. I have these triple B12 1000mcg vitamins that seem to help with energy & mood. I also have Hashimotos thyroiditis on top of everything. Hope you are all having a good day too!
  • Lynne Logan
    Lynne Logan Member Posts: 105 Member
    I'm in denial
    Hi Faith,
    Against all odds I developed another malignant tumor within weeks of finishing rads. I had been thru chemo and before rads got a clean PET scan. Hooray. But not so fast there....I now have to grasp that I have cancer AGAIN.
    One thing I learned recently is that no matter how miserable, how the side effects hit us, whatever, we should never, ever trivialize anyone else's illness or health issues. Cancer does trump a lot of things and I have little patience for my sister playing Camille due to allergies, but everyone who deals with major health issues has the right to vent and be self centered. You've been through a lot in a short time.
    Depression is normal but as was stated, don't let it go on too long. If you haven't processed all you've been through and feel something is wrong, seek help.
    Lynne
  • Faith1122
    Faith1122 Member Posts: 46

    I'm in denial
    Hi Faith,
    Against all odds I developed another malignant tumor within weeks of finishing rads. I had been thru chemo and before rads got a clean PET scan. Hooray. But not so fast there....I now have to grasp that I have cancer AGAIN.
    One thing I learned recently is that no matter how miserable, how the side effects hit us, whatever, we should never, ever trivialize anyone else's illness or health issues. Cancer does trump a lot of things and I have little patience for my sister playing Camille due to allergies, but everyone who deals with major health issues has the right to vent and be self centered. You've been through a lot in a short time.
    Depression is normal but as was stated, don't let it go on too long. If you haven't processed all you've been through and feel something is wrong, seek help.
    Lynne

    Sorry!
    Hi Lynne! So sorry to hear about your reoccurrence . After fighting the battle & going through all of that I can't believe it came back! That was one of the reasons I opted for the mastectomy because I don't want to deal with it again although it is not a guarantee. I pray that you can beat this again. My mom is a 2 time survivor!
    I have good days & bad. I think I bottled up most of my emotions to be strong around my family & now it is coming out in little spurts. wish you luck & health.
    Faith
  • ksf56
    ksf56 Member Posts: 202
    Faith1122 said:

    Sorry!
    Hi Lynne! So sorry to hear about your reoccurrence . After fighting the battle & going through all of that I can't believe it came back! That was one of the reasons I opted for the mastectomy because I don't want to deal with it again although it is not a guarantee. I pray that you can beat this again. My mom is a 2 time survivor!
    I have good days & bad. I think I bottled up most of my emotions to be strong around my family & now it is coming out in little spurts. wish you luck & health.
    Faith

    Dear Faith
    I can't imagine having young kids to deal with with what you're going thru! Wow!! You've been given a plate full. When my kids were in middle school and early hi school, I had to have a spinal fusion because of a childhood injury and I was losing the feeling in my legs (let alone the PAIN!) - my husband, family and church came to my aid - thank God! My kids stepped up to the plate and they learned alot about taking care of themselves etc. I thought that that was my medical issue for life. It took me two years to recover. It was a very difficult rehab - but I did it! I'm walking - yay - and altho I will always have pain, I can feel my legs.

    We moved to Iowa six years ago for a new job opportunity for my husband - away from everyone we knew and loved. Move forward five years and I get BC. We had nobody. My neighbors are not friendly nor is our church. Our realtor has become a good friend over the years and her and her husband have been gems. But we made it through surgeries, chemo, radiation and the ongoing dr visits and I'm here to say I'm a survivor and a stronger person. We're about to be first time grandparents and we can't wait. I've got a lot more to do and this 55 year old body's going to get me there.

    So hang in there - each day will have it's bright side and hopefully no, or only slight, downside but you can make it with all the prayers sent your way!

    Hope your blessings increase!
    Karen
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    sea60 said:

    Faith1122, you are WELCOME to vent!
    It's needed and it's good to get it out. You have had to deal with a lot, especially within a year! And to have little ones to care for on top of it all. I hope you have a good support system of family and friends. You certainly have us all rallying around you. I hope and pray it's all uphill from here.

    Sending you hugs,

    Sylvia

    Welcome Faith, though sorry
    Welcome Faith, though sorry you are here. The pink sisters here are fantastic and offer you lots of support, help and encouragment.

    Praying for you,


    Lex
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    sea60 said:

    Faith1122, you are WELCOME to vent!
    It's needed and it's good to get it out. You have had to deal with a lot, especially within a year! And to have little ones to care for on top of it all. I hope you have a good support system of family and friends. You certainly have us all rallying around you. I hope and pray it's all uphill from here.

    Sending you hugs,

    Sylvia

    Welcoming you also Faith and
    Welcoming you also Faith and you vent all that you want. That's why we are here, to listen, to help and to offer you any advice that we can.

    I will be praying for you and am sending gentle hugs.