My Mum - bad news

alliball
alliball Member Posts: 11
in Lung Cancer #1
My Mum went into hospital today to have fluid drained from around her lung. We all thought this would be the 1st step to getting her back on her feet following a very tough couple of weeks but have now found out that she has blood clots and also that a tumour on her chest is pressing against veins and is causing concern. Mum has a large tumour in her left lung and has been on Tarceva for 4 weeks tomorrow but I guess it is not controlling the cancer as the chest tumour has grown in that time. She also has a large lump on her side and under her arm. My Dad is going in to hospital to see the specialist with her tomorrow morning but has told me that he thinks they will say there is nothing they can do for her. This is an unbearable thought and I'm not coping very well. Mum only went for an x-ray 5 months ago because of pain in her side, she was completely well at that point and we had all just come back from a family holiday in Dubai. She looked amazing and was fit and healthy. How can she go from that to this in such a short space of time? Mum has everything to live for, my Dad who idolises her, my 2 brothers and I and 6 grandchildren who adore her. My 2 girls are the youngest at 3 and 9 months. She loves life and her family and this has devastated us all. I know it breaks her heart that she won't see her grandchildren grow up and it breaks mine that my girls may not remember the most amazing Nana they could have. My brother has said we should not give up hope, but it seems desperate at the moment and I don't know how to cope. My Mum and I have always been close, but have become even closer since I became a Mum myself and I don't know what I'll do without her. We have always spoken every day on the phone and since having Piper and Siena I see her 2 or 3 times a week. She is the best Mum and Nana anyone could wish for, this is so unfair. I'm using this blog to vent as I need to stay strong for my Mum and Dad and my girls. I can only hope that the news we receive tomorrow is not as bad as we're expecting.

Comments

  • lekkerone
    lekkerone Member Posts: 199 Member
    #2
    Hi
    I am very sorry to hear what your mom and all of you are going through this. I agree with your brother......don't give up hope. Read some of the stories on this site and you will see what some people have been diagnosed with and how they are doing so well. My best to you and your family. Diane
  • carolyn1964
    carolyn1964 Member Posts: 1
    #3
    Your Mums cancer
    Hi Alliball

    I dont have much to say that will help you but I feel for you. Its good to vent and to know others out hear are listening. My sister had an chest xray last June, due to some prompting from a colleague after hearing her with a persistant cough, turned out she had a tumour in the windpipe leading to her lung. She had her left lung completely removed followed by Chemotherapy. Its a long hard road but to have you and your family there for her is priceless. Are the doctors able to remove the lung completely, then deal with the other tumour? From our roller coaster ride since last June, I have found that If I dont ask the doctors and specialists questions, they don't readily tell me. The Drs dont seem to mind me asking, in fact, the opposite. One thing I was told is that the fast growing tumour respond to treatment better than the slower growing ones. Just keep positive, as hard as that may seem. I said that to my sister, and she said, If one more person says that to me!! But the power of positivity is amazing. Stress is the worst. Your Mum does have everything to live for, I hope all goes well today. Stay strong, you are dong so well.

    Carolyn

    But read up on what is going on with her and be your Mums advocate, and take control of managing her cancer. As good as the Drs and Nurses may be, and specialist, your Mum is a number in the system, and I dont say that in a horrible way, they are all doing their jobs but she is your Mum. All Im saying is be very vocal, dont be scared to ask questions even if you think they are silly questions, just ask.
  • alliball
    alliball Member Posts: 11
    #4
    carolyn1964 said:

    Your Mums cancer
    Hi Alliball

    I dont have much to say that will help you but I feel for you. Its good to vent and to know others out hear are listening. My sister had an chest xray last June, due to some prompting from a colleague after hearing her with a persistant cough, turned out she had a tumour in the windpipe leading to her lung. She had her left lung completely removed followed by Chemotherapy. Its a long hard road but to have you and your family there for her is priceless. Are the doctors able to remove the lung completely, then deal with the other tumour? From our roller coaster ride since last June, I have found that If I dont ask the doctors and specialists questions, they don't readily tell me. The Drs dont seem to mind me asking, in fact, the opposite. One thing I was told is that the fast growing tumour respond to treatment better than the slower growing ones. Just keep positive, as hard as that may seem. I said that to my sister, and she said, If one more person says that to me!! But the power of positivity is amazing. Stress is the worst. Your Mum does have everything to live for, I hope all goes well today. Stay strong, you are dong so well.

    Carolyn

    But read up on what is going on with her and be your Mums advocate, and take control of managing her cancer. As good as the Drs and Nurses may be, and specialist, your Mum is a number in the system, and I dont say that in a horrible way, they are all doing their jobs but she is your Mum. All Im saying is be very vocal, dont be scared to ask questions even if you think they are silly questions, just ask.

    My Mum - update
    Hi
    Thank you for your responses, it helps to read other peoples experiences and to hear from people who really understand what we as a family are going through.
    My Mum has had a rough time, she had the fluid drained from her lung and that took a few days, in the meantime two departments argued amongth themselves about what to do next, radiotherapy on her chest tumour or a stent to stop it pressing against a main artery. Finally a stent was put in on Friday and the tumour was 1mm away from the main artery from the heart to the brain, it was touch & go. Mum is still in hospital and is starting radiotherapy on her chest and underarm tomorrow. They are blasting her for a week. My Dad thinks they are chucking everything at her to see if it helps and will then review the results in a few weeks time. Her next scan is on 17th May so I guess we'll find out then whether the Tarceva and radiotherapy have had any affect.
    Mum has been told she should have oxygen at home and consider either making a bedroom downstairs or getting a stair lift. I would never have believed my strong, independent, determined Mum could get to this stage so soon, if ever. I truly believed when she was diagnosed that she would have a few rough months and then be on the road to recovery. Can she come back from this? Is this quite normal during treatment? So many questions still and some I am afraid to ask.

    Hope you are all well.

    Alli xx
  • dgmcsg1
    dgmcsg1 Member Posts: 5
    #5
    alliball said:

    My Mum - update
    Hi
    Thank you for your responses, it helps to read other peoples experiences and to hear from people who really understand what we as a family are going through.
    My Mum has had a rough time, she had the fluid drained from her lung and that took a few days, in the meantime two departments argued amongth themselves about what to do next, radiotherapy on her chest tumour or a stent to stop it pressing against a main artery. Finally a stent was put in on Friday and the tumour was 1mm away from the main artery from the heart to the brain, it was touch & go. Mum is still in hospital and is starting radiotherapy on her chest and underarm tomorrow. They are blasting her for a week. My Dad thinks they are chucking everything at her to see if it helps and will then review the results in a few weeks time. Her next scan is on 17th May so I guess we'll find out then whether the Tarceva and radiotherapy have had any affect.
    Mum has been told she should have oxygen at home and consider either making a bedroom downstairs or getting a stair lift. I would never have believed my strong, independent, determined Mum could get to this stage so soon, if ever. I truly believed when she was diagnosed that she would have a few rough months and then be on the road to recovery. Can she come back from this? Is this quite normal during treatment? So many questions still and some I am afraid to ask.

    Hope you are all well.

    Alli xx

    Mum
    So sorry to read what you are going through it sucks big time. In fact cancer sucks period. You should find out if your mum has had a EGFR or ala testing. If she is on tarceva she most likely is EGFR positive All things are possible and she will have a tough road my best advice jus keep asking questions and take it one day at a time. They are not throughout everything at her just trying to do what will have the best result. Radiation will shrink the tumor quickly to reduce the size and provide relief.
  • dgmcsg1
    dgmcsg1 Member Posts: 5
    #6
    alliball said:

    My Mum - update
    Hi
    Thank you for your responses, it helps to read other peoples experiences and to hear from people who really understand what we as a family are going through.
    My Mum has had a rough time, she had the fluid drained from her lung and that took a few days, in the meantime two departments argued amongth themselves about what to do next, radiotherapy on her chest tumour or a stent to stop it pressing against a main artery. Finally a stent was put in on Friday and the tumour was 1mm away from the main artery from the heart to the brain, it was touch & go. Mum is still in hospital and is starting radiotherapy on her chest and underarm tomorrow. They are blasting her for a week. My Dad thinks they are chucking everything at her to see if it helps and will then review the results in a few weeks time. Her next scan is on 17th May so I guess we'll find out then whether the Tarceva and radiotherapy have had any affect.
    Mum has been told she should have oxygen at home and consider either making a bedroom downstairs or getting a stair lift. I would never have believed my strong, independent, determined Mum could get to this stage so soon, if ever. I truly believed when she was diagnosed that she would have a few rough months and then be on the road to recovery. Can she come back from this? Is this quite normal during treatment? So many questions still and some I am afraid to ask.

    Hope you are all well.

    Alli xx

    Mum
    So sorry to read what you are going through it sucks big time. In fact cancer sucks period. You should find out if your mum has had a EGFR or ala testing. If she is on tarceva she most likely is EGFR positive All things are possible and she will have a tough road my best advice jus keep asking questions and take it one day at a time. They are not throughout everything at her just trying to do what will have the best result. Radiation will shrink the tumor quickly to reduce the size and provide relief.
  • Hope4Marge
    Hope4Marge Member Posts: 74
    #7
    alliball said:

    My Mum - update
    Hi
    Thank you for your responses, it helps to read other peoples experiences and to hear from people who really understand what we as a family are going through.
    My Mum has had a rough time, she had the fluid drained from her lung and that took a few days, in the meantime two departments argued amongth themselves about what to do next, radiotherapy on her chest tumour or a stent to stop it pressing against a main artery. Finally a stent was put in on Friday and the tumour was 1mm away from the main artery from the heart to the brain, it was touch & go. Mum is still in hospital and is starting radiotherapy on her chest and underarm tomorrow. They are blasting her for a week. My Dad thinks they are chucking everything at her to see if it helps and will then review the results in a few weeks time. Her next scan is on 17th May so I guess we'll find out then whether the Tarceva and radiotherapy have had any affect.
    Mum has been told she should have oxygen at home and consider either making a bedroom downstairs or getting a stair lift. I would never have believed my strong, independent, determined Mum could get to this stage so soon, if ever. I truly believed when she was diagnosed that she would have a few rough months and then be on the road to recovery. Can she come back from this? Is this quite normal during treatment? So many questions still and some I am afraid to ask.

    Hope you are all well.

    Alli xx

    I just wanted to say I am
    I just wanted to say I am sorry about your Mom. My Mom is very sick too from similar problems. It is never easy but be there for her and stay strong.

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