I KNOW

ditto1
ditto1 Member Posts: 660
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Excuse my rambling today, I know something I did not invite has entered my body, I know it has no good intentions, I know I will have to ask it to leave. I know it will not go quietly, I know it will not apologize for being where it is not wanted. I know it will demand I fight the battle of my life if I dare think it will leave. I know it wants to take me from the people I love, I know it does not care who I am or what I believe, whether I am young or old, male or female, black or white. Shame on you, you have no right to do to people what you do, you have done enough damage "Just Go Away"

Comments

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #2
    Go ahead, ditto....
    speak to your cancer, why not? All us newly diagnosed folks have to manage to wrap our heads around the fact that..."I have cancer." How we get there is going to be as individual as we are. It's such a foreign thought, so alien (at least to me) that so far I haven't been able to mesh "phrannie and cancer"....they don't go together for me...not emotionally, anyway. Today I was filling out the paperwork for the surgeon who will put in my port...so there I am, sitting in a surgeon's office SPECIFICALLY to get a port for chemo. On the medical history sheet, where it asked about diseases I've had in the past or am suffering now...I automatically wrote NONE. Oops....forgot....crossed it out and put throat cancer.

    p
  • ditto1
    ditto1 Member Posts: 660
    #3
    phrannie51 said:

    Go ahead, ditto....
    speak to your cancer, why not? All us newly diagnosed folks have to manage to wrap our heads around the fact that..."I have cancer." How we get there is going to be as individual as we are. It's such a foreign thought, so alien (at least to me) that so far I haven't been able to mesh "phrannie and cancer"....they don't go together for me...not emotionally, anyway. Today I was filling out the paperwork for the surgeon who will put in my port...so there I am, sitting in a surgeon's office SPECIFICALLY to get a port for chemo. On the medical history sheet, where it asked about diseases I've had in the past or am suffering now...I automatically wrote NONE. Oops....forgot....crossed it out and put throat cancer.

    p

    I KNOW
    don't tell to many people about the man who talks to cancer. LOL / Nice to hear from you today. Thanks for the update. God Bless
  • RogerRN43
    RogerRN43 Member Posts: 185
    #4
    Nice ramble
    I think many of us feel the same.

    Sometimes like you, I'd like to personalize it as something foreign. Other times, I realize it is something my body has grown and is really a part of me, but something my body doesn't recognize as bad. What I can't get a handle over is, throughout my life, I have overcome illnesses. This time, even with serious modern medical science thrown at it, it is not always a reliable cure, and, it has left a lot of us with life-altering side effects and future side effects to come should we be cured. Perhaps it's my age. "Cured" to me will not give me back the 30 to 40 years I thought I had left, notion or not, it tore away some of my hopes and dreams.

    I understand there are lots of other far devastating diseases out there, and sometimes I feel blessed I did not get any of them instead of this.

    Sometimes I see meaning in it, sometimes I am lost.

    No doubt, it can be a very confusing and scary time in our lives.
    What I do know now is tomorrow was never a guarantee, live life to the fullest today.
  • ditto1
    ditto1 Member Posts: 660
    #5
    RogerRN43 said:

    Nice ramble
    I think many of us feel the same.

    Sometimes like you, I'd like to personalize it as something foreign. Other times, I realize it is something my body has grown and is really a part of me, but something my body doesn't recognize as bad. What I can't get a handle over is, throughout my life, I have overcome illnesses. This time, even with serious modern medical science thrown at it, it is not always a reliable cure, and, it has left a lot of us with life-altering side effects and future side effects to come should we be cured. Perhaps it's my age. "Cured" to me will not give me back the 30 to 40 years I thought I had left, notion or not, it tore away some of my hopes and dreams.

    I understand there are lots of other far devastating diseases out there, and sometimes I feel blessed I did not get any of them instead of this.

    Sometimes I see meaning in it, sometimes I am lost.

    No doubt, it can be a very confusing and scary time in our lives.
    What I do know now is tomorrow was never a guarantee, live life to the fullest today.

    I KNOW
    Hey Roger, I agree One Day at a Time and yes count our blessings...

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