down in the dumps - chemo brain

Luckygirl2
Luckygirl2 Member Posts: 308
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Not having a good day today, more mental than physicals still just as depressing. Trying to come to terms with this whole chemo brain crap. Sorry if I sound cranky but I guess I am. Before I had surgery and chemo, I did my job efficiently and was on top of my job. I could prepare awesome letters for my boss, now, I have to write everything I do down because I'm not going to remember it! Trying to pull information together to prepare a justification for a position (something I could do in my sleep before) takes me days. I'm beginning to understand the neuropathy may never go away which I am coming to terms with but I'm not sure I'm gonna like this other. I'd like to just sit and cry which I actually did today which just frustrates me that much more...

Thanks for listening..guess I just need a really good cry, put my big girl panties on and get on with it! :)

Comments

  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    #2
    The chemo brain club
    Hey LuckyG...I could have written your post about myself. I am 2 1/2 years post surgery, 2 yrs.out from chemo and apparently the old brain has recouped as much as it is going to. I get depressed about it sometimes, me the highly organized efficient person that I *used* to be. I can't even remember to read the notes that I write to help me remember to....?? It is heck on the self esteem. I haven't worked a paying job since the day prior to going into the hospital for surgery.After all, I worked with hospice patients and heaven forbid I forget something and have bunches of those "duh" moments! The only job I think I might be good at is that of a clown ...LOL. Just trying to cheer you up, Lucky:)

    When I first started chemo I was amazed to find that there were still many in the medical profession that didn't believe that there was such a thing as chemo brain.They would chalk it up to stress or menopause etc., etc. Then there was a study done on it and to their amazement just as many men had chemo brain symptoms as women! Oops! Can't be menopause, now can it? My oncologist apparently knew and recognized that chemo brain is real. She assured me that it would get better a little while after I finished chemo, and maybe it did get a little better but not near enough better.All I know to do is laugh at myself. Beats the heck out of crying, and I have done both.Makes life interesting at times.

    Having said all of this,( and I hope it helped you to know you have company here in this chemo brain club ) let us both henceforth put on our big girl panties and as you say " Get on with it!" Oh my, I forget, what are we getting on with??

    Take care Lucky. It will be okay.

    -Pat
  • Luckygirl2
    Luckygirl2 Member Posts: 308
    #3
    Jaylo969 said:

    The chemo brain club
    Hey LuckyG...I could have written your post about myself. I am 2 1/2 years post surgery, 2 yrs.out from chemo and apparently the old brain has recouped as much as it is going to. I get depressed about it sometimes, me the highly organized efficient person that I *used* to be. I can't even remember to read the notes that I write to help me remember to....?? It is heck on the self esteem. I haven't worked a paying job since the day prior to going into the hospital for surgery.After all, I worked with hospice patients and heaven forbid I forget something and have bunches of those "duh" moments! The only job I think I might be good at is that of a clown ...LOL. Just trying to cheer you up, Lucky:)

    When I first started chemo I was amazed to find that there were still many in the medical profession that didn't believe that there was such a thing as chemo brain.They would chalk it up to stress or menopause etc., etc. Then there was a study done on it and to their amazement just as many men had chemo brain symptoms as women! Oops! Can't be menopause, now can it? My oncologist apparently knew and recognized that chemo brain is real. She assured me that it would get better a little while after I finished chemo, and maybe it did get a little better but not near enough better.All I know to do is laugh at myself. Beats the heck out of crying, and I have done both.Makes life interesting at times.

    Having said all of this,( and I hope it helped you to know you have company here in this chemo brain club ) let us both henceforth put on our big girl panties and as you say " Get on with it!" Oh my, I forget, what are we getting on with??

    Take care Lucky. It will be okay.

    -Pat

    Thank you!
    You made laugh and that is good! Thank you!
  • lauragb
    lauragb Member Posts: 370 Member
    #4
    Sorry you're still feeling
    Sorry you're still feeling the chemo brain effects after all this time. I am presently on Xeloda only and thought maybe I wouldn't get chemo brain but I do have it and thought about posting to ask about it. Here's a good example of mine and I did laugh about it because what else are you going to do? I had 6 Xeloda left yesterday, three for morning, three for evening so I knew I'd need to call in a refill. Well I somehow took all 6 of them yesterday morning, forgot I took three already. Yikes!

    I have quite a delayed reaction in remembering people's names (much worse than before diagnosis). I am concerned that my job will be difficult for me when I go back if I don't see some improvement. I'm hoping I get better off the chemo. I do think some of mine is from being thrown into menopause but it's more than that. I feel foggy and can't remember so many things right after someone tells me something. It is frustrating.

    Guess I just need to pull on the big girl panties too and deal the best I can.
  • Luckygirl2
    Luckygirl2 Member Posts: 308
    #5
    lauragb said:

    Sorry you're still feeling
    Sorry you're still feeling the chemo brain effects after all this time. I am presently on Xeloda only and thought maybe I wouldn't get chemo brain but I do have it and thought about posting to ask about it. Here's a good example of mine and I did laugh about it because what else are you going to do? I had 6 Xeloda left yesterday, three for morning, three for evening so I knew I'd need to call in a refill. Well I somehow took all 6 of them yesterday morning, forgot I took three already. Yikes!

    I have quite a delayed reaction in remembering people's names (much worse than before diagnosis). I am concerned that my job will be difficult for me when I go back if I don't see some improvement. I'm hoping I get better off the chemo. I do think some of mine is from being thrown into menopause but it's more than that. I feel foggy and can't remember so many things right after someone tells me something. It is frustrating.

    Guess I just need to pull on the big girl panties too and deal the best I can.

    I knew while I was taking my
    I knew while I was taking my treatments I wasn't up to my usual speed but heck I was home staring at the walls most days and really wasn't exercising my brain much but since returning to work in January what used to be 2D nature is now a chore. Along with all my physical aches and pains, I just want to curl up in bed...but I'm alive and well considering and I should just let this slide off my shoulders (my bra straps do all the time, you'd think this would too! :). )

    I'm so thankful I can come here and cry and know someone understands all this craziness!
  • tommycat
    tommycat Member Posts: 790 Member
    #6
    Luckygirl2 said:

    I knew while I was taking my
    I knew while I was taking my treatments I wasn't up to my usual speed but heck I was home staring at the walls most days and really wasn't exercising my brain much but since returning to work in January what used to be 2D nature is now a chore. Along with all my physical aches and pains, I just want to curl up in bed...but I'm alive and well considering and I should just let this slide off my shoulders (my bra straps do all the time, you'd think this would too! :). )

    I'm so thankful I can come here and cry and know someone understands all this craziness!

    Understand
    It is inexplicable craziness, and nothing any of of us saw coming.
    What helps me is turning an old adage on its head...remember "what comes up must come down"? Well then, "what goes down, must come up".
    Hang on for brighter times, ok?
  • need support
    need support Member Posts: 40
    #7
    Luckygirl2 said:

    I knew while I was taking my
    I knew while I was taking my treatments I wasn't up to my usual speed but heck I was home staring at the walls most days and really wasn't exercising my brain much but since returning to work in January what used to be 2D nature is now a chore. Along with all my physical aches and pains, I just want to curl up in bed...but I'm alive and well considering and I should just let this slide off my shoulders (my bra straps do all the time, you'd think this would too! :). )

    I'm so thankful I can come here and cry and know someone understands all this craziness!

    hang in there
    One year this week since dx and 4 months since chemotherapy. I remember those days very well, but they will get better soon. My only problem today is the feeling in my hands and feet have not returned to normal, but I've learned to live with that. I have to hit spell check all the time. Just a little humor, I was reviewing one of my employees reviews today that I wrote back in january. I wrote "goof" for good and "ho" for who and of course spell check never picked it up. I was so embarrassed when I was reading her review to her. She just looked at me and smiled. Hang in there, you will be feeling better very soon.
  • steveandnat
    steveandnat Member Posts: 886
    #8
    It drives me crazy at times trying to remember things that I know I should know. The longer I go on the treatment the worse chemo brain seems to get. I cant count the number of times I have to go back home because I forgot something I needed at home. I try to cover it up with jokes but it is frustrating. Pray we all get better. Jeff

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