Going back to work

twillits
twillits Member Posts: 32
in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi,
I survived my port surgery, and first treatment!! Weird how that is a celebration, but to me it is. Just have 5 more to go. I am happy to write that my nervousness was the worst part of the chemo treatment. I had myself so worked up over it, that I was sick to my stomach. Number one, it was painless. Yes, it was long. But thank goodness for my laptop, and of course my husband. Later that day I felt good. The next day I even felt good. It hit me the second day, but not bad. Just the tired, weak feeling. It did, however last like that 3 days more, and was the worst on the 4th and 5th day. Very little appetite, so didn't eat much at all.
Now my question is how many of you went/go back to work while in chemo? I recieved a call from my employer saying my leave is ending this week and I go back to work next week. I don't feel I am ready to. I will need to take the week off when I go in for my treatments, and I have not lost my hair yet, and I know that will be a traumatic thing for me. I don't know if I am mentally ready as well. I work in a school and kids are very curious. The class I am in is a high needs classroom, and can be very physical, and I am not sure I can last 8 hours.
I know everyone says you should do your normal things to help you thru it. But it is hard for me to go back to normal, when I know inside I am NOT normal. My life has changed drastically.
What are other thoughts, advice on this??
Tracey

Comments

  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    #2
    Just the Opposite
    I was told to take it very easy on myself and not hold any kind of expectations. I was also told, by a 30 year cancer survivor to take it easy for the first year after chemo. If you do not feel ready to go back to work, then I would not. Do you have that option? You should be eligible for disability benefits either from Social Security, or from the state, if you are a state employee.
  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #3
    Tethys41 said:

    Just the Opposite
    I was told to take it very easy on myself and not hold any kind of expectations. I was also told, by a 30 year cancer survivor to take it easy for the first year after chemo. If you do not feel ready to go back to work, then I would not. Do you have that option? You should be eligible for disability benefits either from Social Security, or from the state, if you are a state employee.

    Hi Tracey
    I was also told to take it easy during chemo. I was lucky because I had a lot of sick leave that I could use plus a very supportive boss. At first I thought I would try to go into work (I work in an office as a state employee in California) for a few days between each treatment but found out after the first treatment that I had a problem with a low white blood cell count, which means I was very susceptible to the cold, flu, viruses, and other illnesses. My chemo treatments occurred during the height of cold and flu season, so I stayed away from my co-workers and their "cooties" and instead worked from home for a few days between each of my six treatments.

    If you don't feel up to returning to work, do you have the option of taking time off through the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA)? I don't have the details but you could google it for more information.

    Take care,
    Kelly
  • Sara2011
    Sara2011 Member Posts: 78 Member
    #4
    Sorry you have to go through this
    While I was out on short term disability after my surgery, I underwent my first two chemo treatments, so was blessed to still be at home to figure out how it was going to affect me. I was then able to go back to work for the 2 weeks in between my treatments and was off for the week I had my treatments (8 of them). But, I have a desk job in an office, and though it is a very stressful job at times, I was able to handle continuing to work. Working in a classroom can be challenging, I used to teach elementary music. I would think you would need to be very careful working in an environment with children, especially since your immune system will be weakened. I have a friend who taught kindergarten, though, while she was going through her chemo and she did okay. All you can do is try it and see how you do, everyone's different. Take your vitamins and keep hand sanitizer with you all the time and get plenty of rest when you get home. Your experience with your first week of chemo sounds right on with what I went through. Even though it was rough during chemo week, I always knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I always started feeling better by day 6 and 7. I hope you are able to stay encouraged and positive as you go through this. You have lots of support from the ladies on this blog who know exactly what you are going through!
  • twillits
    twillits Member Posts: 32
    #5
    lovesanimals said:

    Hi Tracey
    I was also told to take it easy during chemo. I was lucky because I had a lot of sick leave that I could use plus a very supportive boss. At first I thought I would try to go into work (I work in an office as a state employee in California) for a few days between each treatment but found out after the first treatment that I had a problem with a low white blood cell count, which means I was very susceptible to the cold, flu, viruses, and other illnesses. My chemo treatments occurred during the height of cold and flu season, so I stayed away from my co-workers and their "cooties" and instead worked from home for a few days between each of my six treatments.

    If you don't feel up to returning to work, do you have the option of taking time off through the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA)? I don't have the details but you could google it for more information.

    Take care,
    Kelly

    Thanks for your advice. I
    Thanks for your advice. I am currently on FMLA but it only goes thru April 30, then it stops as well as my health insurance. I can pay for insurance on my own, and it's costly, but that's an option. I know I am very nervous about catching germs too. Like I said I work in a high needs room with autistic children. There is someone sneezing, or coughing all the time. I just want to be able to get thru all this with no other bad things happening or getting in the way. My husband is very supportive of me but is also worried about the money wise of it all.
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #6
    FMLA
    Have you used your FMLA (Family medical Leave act) it gives you 12 weeks if you or someone in your family is sick. Under FMLA they can not fire you or replace you they also have to take you back at you normal pay when you come back to work. If you have not used it get started on ASAP you just need to go to your HR person and ask for it to start. I will be praing for you because you are right your life has changed drastically. This is just my feeling but I don't belive you can every return to what you knew as normal, I think we have to find our new normal and not try to just go back to the way things were. Get the FMLA started now that will give you 12 weeks to deceided if you will be able to go back to work full or part time or if you can ever go back to work. I am now on disability and can not work because of what the neuropathy I got it really bad while I was on chemo and after the front line chemo I was told it would get better in four to six months for me it has not yet change well it has changed it has gotten worst. So please use FMLA

    Anne
  • twillits
    twillits Member Posts: 32
    #7
    AnneBehymer said:

    FMLA
    Have you used your FMLA (Family medical Leave act) it gives you 12 weeks if you or someone in your family is sick. Under FMLA they can not fire you or replace you they also have to take you back at you normal pay when you come back to work. If you have not used it get started on ASAP you just need to go to your HR person and ask for it to start. I will be praing for you because you are right your life has changed drastically. This is just my feeling but I don't belive you can every return to what you knew as normal, I think we have to find our new normal and not try to just go back to the way things were. Get the FMLA started now that will give you 12 weeks to deceided if you will be able to go back to work full or part time or if you can ever go back to work. I am now on disability and can not work because of what the neuropathy I got it really bad while I was on chemo and after the front line chemo I was told it would get better in four to six months for me it has not yet change well it has changed it has gotten worst. So please use FMLA

    Anne

    Hi Anne,
    I am on the FMLA
    Hi Anne,
    I am on the FMLA right now and it runs out on April 30th. That is when I am no longer on health insurance, unless I pay the Cobra premiums. I talked to HR today, and they said I can extend my leave for however long I need, with the Dr.'s signature. But my question is still, do I want to? Yes, the cost of the premium will be hard to come up with, but I just feel like I don't have it in me to go back. All my co-workers are wonderful, and I hear from them often telling me how much I am missed. But this whole thing has changed my outlook on everything. I am so stressed with it all, and just don't know what to do.
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    #8
    twillits said:

    Hi Anne,
    I am on the FMLA
    Hi Anne,
    I am on the FMLA right now and it runs out on April 30th. That is when I am no longer on health insurance, unless I pay the Cobra premiums. I talked to HR today, and they said I can extend my leave for however long I need, with the Dr.'s signature. But my question is still, do I want to? Yes, the cost of the premium will be hard to come up with, but I just feel like I don't have it in me to go back. All my co-workers are wonderful, and I hear from them often telling me how much I am missed. But this whole thing has changed my outlook on everything. I am so stressed with it all, and just don't know what to do.

    I know
    What I would do. You need to put yourself first. Chemo is no easy task, and it doesn't get any easier. If there is any possible way to manage without you working, I say go for it. If the loss of your income is going to stress you out more, than you may need to put more thought into it. I know of women who get through this by having friends do fundraisers for them. Maybe something your coworkers would undertake?
  • undertreatment2012
    undertreatment2012 Member Posts: 126
    #9
    going back to work
    Great thoughts and comments from the others. This ANGERS me SO much. Just last night I receieved notification from my FMLA that the ONC decided I only needed off two days a month for treatment and illness and then back to work. NO WAY!!!!!! I melted into tears and thought, what do you think I am, a robot??? Last week I had a port placed, my head shaved and first chemo, this week still recovering and I know full well I could not go back to work. They go overboard trying to act like what you are going through is normal, that you are just "a little sick, a little set back in life" When did CANCER become a head cold???. So I called this morning and told them, I cant do it, I need the continuous leave on the FMLA, my panic attacks have me pretty much confined to the house as it is. They are horrible. Not to mention the germs, sitting at a desk, swelling in my ankles, the extreme pain and weakness in my legs. I have about 5 weeks of FMLA left and have short term disability, followed by long term, I am luckier than most. But I agree with the others on here. If you feel in your heart and mind that you are not ready, and especially with your job, then you should not go back. Again, this makes me so mad!!!! So I think things are back in order for me??? but waiting for the other shoe to drop. How sick do you have to be in order to just not have to deal with the crap??
    Just because "they" the healthy ones say it's best for you, it may not be.
    I love everyone on here, such good advice and avenues they offer. Best of luck and don't push yourself. This is YOUR life. I wish I could just make everyone all better with no worries. HUGS to you and may God bless.
  • twillits
    twillits Member Posts: 32
    #10
    undertreatment2012 said:

    going back to work
    Great thoughts and comments from the others. This ANGERS me SO much. Just last night I receieved notification from my FMLA that the ONC decided I only needed off two days a month for treatment and illness and then back to work. NO WAY!!!!!! I melted into tears and thought, what do you think I am, a robot??? Last week I had a port placed, my head shaved and first chemo, this week still recovering and I know full well I could not go back to work. They go overboard trying to act like what you are going through is normal, that you are just "a little sick, a little set back in life" When did CANCER become a head cold???. So I called this morning and told them, I cant do it, I need the continuous leave on the FMLA, my panic attacks have me pretty much confined to the house as it is. They are horrible. Not to mention the germs, sitting at a desk, swelling in my ankles, the extreme pain and weakness in my legs. I have about 5 weeks of FMLA left and have short term disability, followed by long term, I am luckier than most. But I agree with the others on here. If you feel in your heart and mind that you are not ready, and especially with your job, then you should not go back. Again, this makes me so mad!!!! So I think things are back in order for me??? but waiting for the other shoe to drop. How sick do you have to be in order to just not have to deal with the crap??
    Just because "they" the healthy ones say it's best for you, it may not be.
    I love everyone on here, such good advice and avenues they offer. Best of luck and don't push yourself. This is YOUR life. I wish I could just make everyone all better with no worries. HUGS to you and may God bless.

    Thank you, thank you, thank
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Your words were just what I have been thinking. I feel that exactly!! They say be "normal"....what? How???? I have been so stressed this whole week over this. I go from being selfish and think...nope, not going back to work...to yes, maybe I should because of what others say/think. Makes me crazy!!
    Guess things will turn out, but sure don't need this added stress on top of everything else I am dealing with.
    Thanks to all of you!
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #11
    twillits said:

    Hi Anne,
    I am on the FMLA
    Hi Anne,
    I am on the FMLA right now and it runs out on April 30th. That is when I am no longer on health insurance, unless I pay the Cobra premiums. I talked to HR today, and they said I can extend my leave for however long I need, with the Dr.'s signature. But my question is still, do I want to? Yes, the cost of the premium will be hard to come up with, but I just feel like I don't have it in me to go back. All my co-workers are wonderful, and I hear from them often telling me how much I am missed. But this whole thing has changed my outlook on everything. I am so stressed with it all, and just don't know what to do.

    I had to make the same choise
    and it was hard for me because one I so loved my job I ran a group home for adults with mental handicapps and two because I did not want to feel like this disease has gotten the best of me. I had to learn that some people like me can not work through the chemo and it is not because we are weak the chemo hits people differently and for he it me pretty hard. I ended up using a walker, still not eating hardly at all, and find that I am in to much pain most of the time to handle working anymore. Check into disablility I am now on it that also was hard for me I never like taking hand outs and again God slapped me up side the head and I realized I have been paying into this my whole working life and it was there for moments like this. Check into AHCCC your state health care I went from paying 475 a month for health care (Cobra), 300 for medications, and 50.00 for office visits which was atleast 2x a month. I now pay nothing for health care, 3.30 for medications, and 2.20 for doctor visist and most of the time when going to the doctor or picking up my medicaiton they don't charge me. You have paid for these servcies and they are there for you to use please check into this it really will take a burden off you. You have my prayers please come back and let us know how you doing we are here for you anytime you need us.

    Love, Hugs, and prayers
    Anne
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #12
    undertreatment2012 said:

    going back to work
    Great thoughts and comments from the others. This ANGERS me SO much. Just last night I receieved notification from my FMLA that the ONC decided I only needed off two days a month for treatment and illness and then back to work. NO WAY!!!!!! I melted into tears and thought, what do you think I am, a robot??? Last week I had a port placed, my head shaved and first chemo, this week still recovering and I know full well I could not go back to work. They go overboard trying to act like what you are going through is normal, that you are just "a little sick, a little set back in life" When did CANCER become a head cold???. So I called this morning and told them, I cant do it, I need the continuous leave on the FMLA, my panic attacks have me pretty much confined to the house as it is. They are horrible. Not to mention the germs, sitting at a desk, swelling in my ankles, the extreme pain and weakness in my legs. I have about 5 weeks of FMLA left and have short term disability, followed by long term, I am luckier than most. But I agree with the others on here. If you feel in your heart and mind that you are not ready, and especially with your job, then you should not go back. Again, this makes me so mad!!!! So I think things are back in order for me??? but waiting for the other shoe to drop. How sick do you have to be in order to just not have to deal with the crap??
    Just because "they" the healthy ones say it's best for you, it may not be.
    I love everyone on here, such good advice and avenues they offer. Best of luck and don't push yourself. This is YOUR life. I wish I could just make everyone all better with no worries. HUGS to you and may God bless.

    Now I am pissed
    the onc can not know what you are feeling inside and like I said chemo is different for each person. I have heard some of our sisters were able to go back to work but I was not able to it does not make me a whimp and I know I am doing what is best for me. stand up for yourself and tell your onc that you know you can not go back to work and then talk to a disability layer and apply for disability. You are so in my prayers please keep coming back for support we are here for you.

    Love, Hugs, and Prayers
    Anne
  • lulu1010
    lulu1010 Member Posts: 367
    #13
    AnneBehymer said:

    Now I am pissed
    the onc can not know what you are feeling inside and like I said chemo is different for each person. I have heard some of our sisters were able to go back to work but I was not able to it does not make me a whimp and I know I am doing what is best for me. stand up for yourself and tell your onc that you know you can not go back to work and then talk to a disability layer and apply for disability. You are so in my prayers please keep coming back for support we are here for you.

    Love, Hugs, and Prayers
    Anne

    Such a hard decision
    I know I struggled with this question when I was first diagnosed. People said lots of people work while on chemo. I was sick and weak by the time I was diagnosed so there was no way I could work. I was working part time as a nurse and lost the position. I did not apply for disability as I thought I might go into remission for a couple years and still want to work. Well remission lasted 9 mos. and I went in to sub especially at Christmas. Now I am back on chemo and 59 and there is no way I evan want to continue to work. Every time I was on the schedule I was worried that I wouldnt feel well that day and sometimes I didnt. My daughter worked with some teachers who were on chemo but she said they had to help them by taking their classes etc. now and then.
    I am now applying for disability. Wish I had done it in the first place. There is a compassionat allowance law that gives certain diagnosis a faster approval for benefits. My friend was diagnosed Ovarian Stage 3 in Dec and was approved for disability in March. She applied online with no lawyer and no questions were asked.Hope this helps!
  • JoWin615
    JoWin615 Member Posts: 150 Member
    #14
    Part-time
    I had the ideal situation because I was already retired when all this cancer stuff started. I went back to work part-time, and learned two things:

    1. My job with children often served as a wonderful distraction from my chemo discomfort, and took my mind off the aches and pains.

    2. However, at times my low energy level made it difficult, and my co-workers had to take up the slack.

    If you don't feel ready to return to work, then you probably aren't. You need to take care of YOU first. Good luck with this decision.

    Cheers, Jo
  • twillits
    twillits Member Posts: 32
    #15
    JoWin615 said:

    Part-time
    I had the ideal situation because I was already retired when all this cancer stuff started. I went back to work part-time, and learned two things:

    1. My job with children often served as a wonderful distraction from my chemo discomfort, and took my mind off the aches and pains.

    2. However, at times my low energy level made it difficult, and my co-workers had to take up the slack.

    If you don't feel ready to return to work, then you probably aren't. You need to take care of YOU first. Good luck with this decision.

    Cheers, Jo

    Thank you.
    Everyone's
    Thank you.
    Everyone's comments are so encouraging to me. I feel that you are all right too. I feel strongly about not wanting to go back, and really focus on ME!! But of course, there is still that part of me that has the guilt of staying home. I have always been the one to worry about the money, and paying the bills. I hate having to give up my money, and put it all on my husband to do it. It's a vicious cycle!!!! Just another "side effect" this damn disease has!!
  • leesag
    leesag Member Posts: 621 Member
    #16
    undertreatment2012 said:

    going back to work
    Great thoughts and comments from the others. This ANGERS me SO much. Just last night I receieved notification from my FMLA that the ONC decided I only needed off two days a month for treatment and illness and then back to work. NO WAY!!!!!! I melted into tears and thought, what do you think I am, a robot??? Last week I had a port placed, my head shaved and first chemo, this week still recovering and I know full well I could not go back to work. They go overboard trying to act like what you are going through is normal, that you are just "a little sick, a little set back in life" When did CANCER become a head cold???. So I called this morning and told them, I cant do it, I need the continuous leave on the FMLA, my panic attacks have me pretty much confined to the house as it is. They are horrible. Not to mention the germs, sitting at a desk, swelling in my ankles, the extreme pain and weakness in my legs. I have about 5 weeks of FMLA left and have short term disability, followed by long term, I am luckier than most. But I agree with the others on here. If you feel in your heart and mind that you are not ready, and especially with your job, then you should not go back. Again, this makes me so mad!!!! So I think things are back in order for me??? but waiting for the other shoe to drop. How sick do you have to be in order to just not have to deal with the crap??
    Just because "they" the healthy ones say it's best for you, it may not be.
    I love everyone on here, such good advice and avenues they offer. Best of luck and don't push yourself. This is YOUR life. I wish I could just make everyone all better with no worries. HUGS to you and may God bless.

    Which idiot doctor said you
    Which idiot doctor said you could go back to work and only take time out for chemo? I surely hope it wasn't your oncologist! As much as I wanted to go back to work, my doctor wouldn't let me because A) I was freaking exhausted, B) My immune system was demolished by the chemo and C) I was freaking exhausted!

    You need a second opinion honey!

    Hugs and Hope!
    Leesa
  • undertreatment2012
    undertreatment2012 Member Posts: 126
    #17
    leesag said:

    Which idiot doctor said you
    Which idiot doctor said you could go back to work and only take time out for chemo? I surely hope it wasn't your oncologist! As much as I wanted to go back to work, my doctor wouldn't let me because A) I was freaking exhausted, B) My immune system was demolished by the chemo and C) I was freaking exhausted!

    You need a second opinion honey!

    Hugs and Hope!
    Leesa

    working
    yep was my oncologist. but i fought it, i should not have had to and they gave me continuous leave till may 4th, chemo not over till august and after fmla runs out they can fire me anyway. still in a quandry as to what to do

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