Good news with lung mets from Megace treatment (and complementaries)--closer to official NED

soromer said:

Thank you, Rosey! for your good wishes
Thanks for the excellent and challenging question, too.

A lot of the Ayurvedic healing happens off-stage, in a sense, because I'm not really aware of what each component contributes. I take herbal supplements and capsules, without knowing what's in them; I drink a specially-formulated tea; I oil myself with a particular blend of essential oils, the exact formula being unknown to me; I follow the dietary recommendations my Ayurvedist makes. Who knows, really? And I have no way of telling if the hormones themselves are doing most or all of the heavy lifting, to be honest. Wish there were multiples of me sometimes to sort all this out!

I think all the *physical* remedies are significant, but I also think the *metaphysical* ones are, too. From the get-go last fall, my Ayurvedist has encouraged me to believe in the capacity of my body to recover. That seems pretty important. And, she has also done a great deal of energy work during our appointments--sometimes acupressure, sometimes oiling, sometimes massage, sometimes breathing instruction--to facilitate my internal energy flow.

She'd probably say, come to think of it, that the breathing is the most important thing. It's essential to stay fully in my body, to take in and release air in a mindful and purposeful way. In fact, very early in my treatment, she did some sort of manipulation of my head and neck that suddenly released a block somewhere in my torso and permitted me to breathe more fully--into the apices of my lungs--than I could remember doing for years. And since then, my singing capacity has also improved dramatically, so something definitely changed.

I suspect I sound pretty far out to those who are more materialist/positivist in outlook. I do understand that perspective, and at times I am also very skeptical. And yet, I am better in multiple dimensions.

One last observation: In December, upon arriving at my gyn-onc's office for my consult and to hear the CT results, my BP was 186/90. (Yes, very high, but they accepted my explanation of anxiety over the results.) I'd been taking Ativan, which may have prevented it from going higher, I don't know! This time, however, my BP before hearing the results was 136/64, and I haven't taken any Ativan in months.

So far, so good. As I said before, I am grateful to have found a therapeutic combination that appears to work for me.

soromer said:

Other supports for healing
Dear Mary Ann,

I did read your post about Tong Ren. There is much in that practice to learn from, I think. I'm glad that you have found it.

I'm not sure where the fear comes from, entirely. I haven't had cancer all my life, and yet fear (or its cousin, anxiety) has certainly been a powerful motivator for me as long as I can remember.

I've read two books by the same author recently that have been very helpful to me in learning how to cope with fear, to understand it without having it overwhelm me. The author is Sharon Salzberg, who is (apparently) a very well known teacher and practitioner of Buddhist meditation. If I recall correctly, she and Jack Korngold were among the founders of a major meditation center in Massachusetts, Insight Meditation.

The first book I read--which I must confess not to have finished yet--is called Lovingkindness. It is a beautiful exposition of the Buddhist concept of metta, or lovingkindness (compassion, forgiveness, etc.) with illustrations and applications in "ordinary" life. I became aware of the concept originally thanks to my meditation teacher here (who happens to have studied with Salzberg). One exercise my teacher explained to us started with extending forgiveness to someone who had injured me, and eventually offering forgiveness to myself. The latter is what I found hardest, somewhat to my surprise, and it was deeply disconcerting to me to realize how angry with myself I have chronically been. I think the cancer diagnosis only exacerbated that feeling. You may know what I mean, all the "if onlys" that you think about, wishing somehow to have avoided cancer in the first place....

Anyway, Lovingkindness is instructive in some important areas, and I do recommend it.

The other book of hers that I've read so far, Faith, affected me even more deeply. I need to read it carefully at least once more, because I really sped through it, drawn by the parallels I saw between her reaction to trauma in her life and mine. Now, we didn't have the same difficult issues to handle, but hers were very tough; she lost both her parents while she was still a young child. As a consequence, she withdrew into herself and feared trusting anyone or anything, let alone her own self. I don't have the same provocations but I sure did wind up with a similar result! So what she explains about regaining faith--ultimately, faith in herself and in her ability to cope with life in any circumstance--was very important to me.

Once I read it again, I'm sure I'd have something more intelligent to say about it. But I respond very strongly to what I read, even if I can't immediately articulate my reaction.

My dear friend, I haven't (yet) come to the position of being "grateful" for my cancer and what it has made me grapple with. But I am still grateful for every opportunity to learn and grow, and to make connections. Perhaps cancer has made that happen at warp speed now!

You are already doing so many good and healthful things for yourself, Mary Ann. I hope that you find my small suggestions useful to supplement what you already know. Even more, I wish you many, many healthy days ahead.

Peace and blessings,
Kate