Not What I wanted To Hear

sangora
sangora Member Posts: 213
edited March 2012 in Esophageal Cancer #1
Went to have my CT scan and see the doc yesterday and did not get the message I wanted. I have been on a chemo holiday for six weeks and now it's over. The CT scan shows that the spot in my liver has doubled in size since last scan 8 weeks ago and the mass in the espohagus is thicker over the same time period. CEA is 7.5, up from 4.7 three weeks ago. Holiday is over. I more or less set my self up to fail here because (and I know better) I got this predetermined time frame of 3 months in my head as a break from treatment and I only got 6 weeks. Had a pitty party last night with my self and my dog as attendees, took my sleeping med and a dose of oxycodone and went to sleep. Oh, that's another thing. For the past couple of weeks I have been having back and rib pain. I assumed I was experiencing a spread to the bone but according to the scan that is not the case. My doctor thinks it is pressure from the esophagilia mass. Whatever, I am now needing some pain meds now and then. I still am blessed that I am not spreading beyond the original 2 sites. For that I am gratefull. The pity party is over as of this morning. It is to be in the low 80's here today and I have some things that need to be done outside.
Treatments begin next tuesday. Going to go back to the Taxotere for 2 rounds and see if it brings things back under control. If not then we will move on to the next one. Sam Stage IV

Comments

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #2
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,392 Member
    #3
    So sorry to hear these scan results
    Sam,

    I am sorry to hear the scan results were not what you hoped. You have the right approach though, take time to feel your frustration and disappointment, and then move on in a positive direction. I so admire your tenacity and strength. I will be praying that the Taxotere is effective in stabilizing things.

    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    McCormick, South Carolina

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    Two year survivor

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
  • monica_sss
    monica_sss Member Posts: 54
    #4
    paul61 said:

    So sorry to hear these scan results
    Sam,

    I am sorry to hear the scan results were not what you hoped. You have the right approach though, take time to feel your frustration and disappointment, and then move on in a positive direction. I so admire your tenacity and strength. I will be praying that the Taxotere is effective in stabilizing things.

    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    McCormick, South Carolina

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    Two year survivor

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

    late attendee to the pity party
    I'm sorry to hear your results too. I enjoy reading your posts because your outlook always seems to be positive and upbeat. Since this cancer came into my life I've read a lot and have heard "I may have cancer, but cancer doesn't have me" a few times, you seem to embody this mentality. I'm the caregiver for someone who is often depressed and angry, which is difficult to observe.

    I'm sorry that your time "off" was short -- I will have you in my thoughts and prayers for the weeks to come.
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #5
    Oh Sam, don't despair. Keep
    Oh Sam, don't despair. Keep up your good fight and DO take your pain meds. Hug your doggie. Sending you cyber hugs and tons of prayers. You're tough!!
  • AngieD
    AngieD Member Posts: 493
    #6
    Ginny_B said:

    Oh Sam, don't despair. Keep
    Oh Sam, don't despair. Keep up your good fight and DO take your pain meds. Hug your doggie. Sending you cyber hugs and tons of prayers. You're tough!!

    Sam, you are one of my
    Sam, you are one of my heroes! I'm so sorry you didn't get the break you were hoping for, but, as Sherry said, maybe it can be continued after a few rounds of "knock back" chemo. You are SO smart! Have a pity party and feel the pain and disappointment, then move forward with another plan! I'm hoping and praying for great results for you! Keep us posted.
    Angie BC DX 12/11
    Wife of Larry DX EC 6/11
  • TerryV
    TerryV Member Posts: 887
    #7
    Your attitude is magnificient!
    Love the pity party with the dog. My dogs have always been my best listeners and durn it, they absorb tears pretty well too! and actually, there's no creature better able to express their sorrow for your pain than a companion dog. Somehow, they just know.....

    Keep your strength and your attitude, Sam. Like the others, I hope the taxotere is effective again. You're still owed 6 weeks of break!

    Positive thoughts, lots of hugs, and prayers to you!

    Terry
  • Heeran
    Heeran Member Posts: 171
    #8
    Very sorry you didn't get
    Very sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for. You've got a fighting attitude and I know you will begin your new treatment with a kicking **** attitude.
  • GerryS
    GerryS Member Posts: 227 Member
    #9
    Your our hero........
    Sam
    You have and will continue to be a huge motivator for all of us. Am praying this next treatment will give you the progress you expect.

    Gerry
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    #10
    GerryS said:

    Your our hero........
    Sam
    You have and will continue to be a huge motivator for all of us. Am praying this next treatment will give you the progress you expect.

    Gerry

    sorry to see this
    Dear Sam,
    Wish that break could have been longer and wish those results could have been better. You are more than entitled to a pity party and don't even think I like the sound of that, maybe it should just be a reality check party. Hug that dog and go forward with your chemo and hoping it does knock it back. You are always an inspiration here and a comfort with your wise words. many hugs,
    Donna70
  • ritawaite13
    ritawaite13 Member Posts: 236
    #11
    Hi Sam,
    I'm sorry you didn't get the news you wanted but I have to say, I LOVE your attitude. You're more than entitled to an occasional pity party - to expect anything more would be crazy. You have really given this cancer a run for it's money and continue to do so! You GO girl!! Just keep on living your life to the fullest.
    Hugs,
    Rita
  • birdiequeen
    birdiequeen Member Posts: 319
    #12
    Fast turn around
    We allow pitty party's here if they are short :). Everyone counts on your positive outlook. But, its good to know even the most positive among us have thier down moments. I'm glad you are able to get out and enjoy the nice weather today! We will be praying the Taxotere will work to control the cancer.
  • MissusB
    MissusB Member Posts: 111
    #13
    birdiequeen said:

    Fast turn around
    We allow pitty party's here if they are short :). Everyone counts on your positive outlook. But, its good to know even the most positive among us have thier down moments. I'm glad you are able to get out and enjoy the nice weather today! We will be praying the Taxotere will work to control the cancer.

    Keep your chin up, Sam!
    A lot of us here and thinking about and praying for you. <3

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