I feel like Job

taraHK
taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Just found a lump in my breast. Very suspicious and my oncologist agrees. I'm signed up for a mess of tests on Thursday (mammogram, MRI, biopsy).

On the one hand, I feel strangely calm -- I'm not someone with no history of cancer for whom this isthe first news. Also, I'm already in treatment -- this will just be another twist they'll add into the overall plan.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I am feeling a bit like Job from the Bible -- what else can you throw at me? Diagnosed with brain mets in Dec, whole brain radiation in January, started back on chemo for my bone mets in February (plus stereotactic radiation for the brain mets) -- can I please get a month off?! From drama, anyway? ("just" chemo is seeming both normal and a walk in the park at this stage!).

I know I shouldn't jump the gun -- the lump could be benign or (according to my onc) "necrotic fatty tissue" (never thought I'd be praying for something so disgusting sounding!).

I'm trying to keep my usual up-tempo attitude but have to confess I've lost it temporarily -- just wanna go stick my head in the sand...

Oh, and I got an ulcer in my throat Thurs night which caused a swollen and very sore lymph node (getting better now!). I knew I'd forgotten something. Moan moan moan.

Sure glad I have you all to moan to....Truly.

Tara

Comments

  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #2
    necrotic fatty tissue sounds great
    hi tara,

    i hope it is.
    i really do.

    moan away, its the easiest way to lighten the load.

    and with our cancers we have a load to carry.

    hugs,
    pete
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425 Member
    #3
    pete43lost_at_sea said:

    necrotic fatty tissue sounds great
    hi tara,

    i hope it is.
    i really do.

    moan away, its the easiest way to lighten the load.

    and with our cancers we have a load to carry.

    hugs,
    pete

    Sheesh, you sure have been
    Sheesh, you sure have been through a lot. Hopefully it's something benign.
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #4
    Hugsss
    Tara,

    Praying it's just a fatty cyst? awwww you deserve a break we all do.

    Thinking of you
  • toyfox
    toyfox Member Posts: 158 Member
    #5
    Sonia32 said:

    Hugsss
    Tara,

    Praying it's just a fatty cyst? awwww you deserve a break we all do.

    Thinking of you

    Agree
    I agree with Sonia about deserving a break.
    Thinking of you....Linda
  • tommycat
    tommycat Member Posts: 790 Member
    #6
    Never has it been so true:
    Never has it been so true: When it rains, it pours. Sheesh Tara---your break must be coming soon. Start thinking about a vacation you want to have when all the trtmts are over.
    Will be thinking about you.....
  • Minnesotagirl
    Minnesotagirl Member Posts: 141
    #7
    You deserve to moan ~
    Dear Tara,

    Wow, you certainly deserve to moan all you want. I can't imagine what you are going through and how awful you must feel. Really, enough is enough already! I hope the breast lump is nothing ~ I know I have one and they watch it but say it is a overlap in tissue or something to that affect.

    Tara, I want to ask you something. I was looking back on previous posts and I saw back in earlier threads that you took estrogen/progesterone. My gynecologist has prescribed this to me as well, but I am on the fence about it and so is my oncologist. Would you take hormone therapy again if you could step back in time? I am sitting with these drugs but after reading all the side effects, I dare not take them. Would really value your opinion because you have been through a nightmare and back~

    Prayers to you dear one and Minnesota hugs as well. You seem like such a bright light shining on this board ~ continue to keep your light lit!

    "Minnie"
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753 Member
    #8
    Minnesotagirl said:

    You deserve to moan ~
    Dear Tara,

    Wow, you certainly deserve to moan all you want. I can't imagine what you are going through and how awful you must feel. Really, enough is enough already! I hope the breast lump is nothing ~ I know I have one and they watch it but say it is a overlap in tissue or something to that affect.

    Tara, I want to ask you something. I was looking back on previous posts and I saw back in earlier threads that you took estrogen/progesterone. My gynecologist has prescribed this to me as well, but I am on the fence about it and so is my oncologist. Would you take hormone therapy again if you could step back in time? I am sitting with these drugs but after reading all the side effects, I dare not take them. Would really value your opinion because you have been through a nightmare and back~

    Prayers to you dear one and Minnesota hugs as well. You seem like such a bright light shining on this board ~ continue to keep your light lit!

    "Minnie"

    Vent away, Tara
    I think about you every day. Always appreciate your sharing. Sure hope this lump is nothing.
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #9
    janie1 said:

    Vent away, Tara
    I think about you every day. Always appreciate your sharing. Sure hope this lump is nothing.

    Tara! Praying for a good result on the mammogram ,
    you deserve a rest!.
    Lots of love.
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #10
    Minnesotagirl said:

    You deserve to moan ~
    Dear Tara,

    Wow, you certainly deserve to moan all you want. I can't imagine what you are going through and how awful you must feel. Really, enough is enough already! I hope the breast lump is nothing ~ I know I have one and they watch it but say it is a overlap in tissue or something to that affect.

    Tara, I want to ask you something. I was looking back on previous posts and I saw back in earlier threads that you took estrogen/progesterone. My gynecologist has prescribed this to me as well, but I am on the fence about it and so is my oncologist. Would you take hormone therapy again if you could step back in time? I am sitting with these drugs but after reading all the side effects, I dare not take them. Would really value your opinion because you have been through a nightmare and back~

    Prayers to you dear one and Minnesota hugs as well. You seem like such a bright light shining on this board ~ continue to keep your light lit!

    "Minnie"

    hormone replacement therapy
    Well, this probably isn't the best time to ask me! because of course HRT does increase the risk of breast cancer. But I did pretty extensive research before I started and my OB-GYN is very on-top of the research. I was thrown into early menopause at 44 when I had radiation for rectal cancer and it was thought that I should actually have the hormones for a while longer (that is, there were some dangers in NOT having). Also, I had zero history of breast cancer in the family. That being said, it is a controversial issue, and everyone has to make their own decision -- preferably with solid research-based advice from a doctor (IMHO).

    Good luck with your decision

    Tara
  • Moesimo
    Moesimo Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #11
    Sending hugs!!!!!!
    Tara, I am sending hugs and positie vibes your way. Good luck with all the testing. Keep us posted. You really do need a break. Love, Maureen
  • sasjourney
    sasjourney Member Posts: 395 Member
    #12
    Praying for you!
    Tara,

    I will be praying that all your upcoming tests show that everything is fine. You are a very strong lady and have always been such an inspiration. I am very sorry that you are going through all of this. I understand how you feel like Job, but remember God rewarded him with even more than he had before. And he lived for 140 years!

    Praying for good news!!!

    Hugs,
    Sara
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #13
    Tara
    I know the feeling; if it isn't one thing its another. Well, here's hoping your "another" is a simple inconvenience of having tests done for "necrotic fatty tissue" (you're right, those are unattractive words LOL), so here I'll being sending my best wishes and vibes your way hat it is indeed necrotic fatty tissue!!
    Moan on!!!
    Love at you,
    Winter Marie
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #14
    Tara:
    Gosh, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. You have been through so much lately that it just isn't fair to have more heaped on your plate. Moan away, that is what we are here for. I wish I could take some of the worry away from you.

    Hugs - Tina

Discussion Boards