Sue

scuttlebug11
scuttlebug11 Member Posts: 175
in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
my daughter took a drug that could have killed her, now she does'nt want to come home she says she will kill herself, she has never treated me like this i see her at 300 in the afternoon her dad sees her in the evening i knew he would be mad when i made him pay child support 6 months ago but i neveer expected anything like this we have beendivorced since she has been 1 i cound'nt do it anymore without finacily help blessings denise

Comments

  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #2
    So sorry....
    Hi Denise,
    I'm so sorry about your daughter. I hope you are able to guide her into some kind of counseling or possible out patient treatment facility. Mental health counseling for troubled youths is usually free if the guardian/parents income qualifies. It's too bad her father won't work with you instead of against you. My prayers are with you Denise.
    Much love...Sue
  • scuttlebug11
    scuttlebug11 Member Posts: 175
    #3
    allmost60 said:

    So sorry....
    Hi Denise,
    I'm so sorry about your daughter. I hope you are able to guide her into some kind of counseling or possible out patient treatment facility. Mental health counseling for troubled youths is usually free if the guardian/parents income qualifies. It's too bad her father won't work with you instead of against you. My prayers are with you Denise.
    Much love...Sue

    nothing left
    it feels like they're is nothing left to fight for its been only the two of us for 13 years she has been my life i feel so bad for letting her down blessings denise
  • miss maggie
    miss maggie Member Posts: 929
    #4
    scuttlebug11 said:

    nothing left
    it feels like they're is nothing left to fight for its been only the two of us for 13 years she has been my life i feel so bad for letting her down blessings denise

    Your daughter
    Denise, You didn't let your daughter down. How old is your daughter???

    Girls, sometimes are not easy. She may be reacting because of your DX. Whatever.
    You have to take care of yourself to help her. She needs you. You both need each
    other.

    I know your ex husband hasn't been there for both of you. Is it possible for her
    to live with him while you are under going problems with your health?

    So sorry for this additional worry. Love Maggie
  • scuttlebug11
    scuttlebug11 Member Posts: 175
    #5
    miss maggie said:

    Your daughter
    Denise, You didn't let your daughter down. How old is your daughter???

    Girls, sometimes are not easy. She may be reacting because of your DX. Whatever.
    You have to take care of yourself to help her. She needs you. You both need each
    other.

    I know your ex husband hasn't been there for both of you. Is it possible for her
    to live with him while you are under going problems with your health?

    So sorry for this additional worry. Love Maggie

    alcohol
    no he is an alcoholic and the hospital won't let me bring her home she keeps saying if she comes home she will kill herself i know he is telling her what to say blessings denise
  • JoanieP
    JoanieP Member Posts: 573
    #6
    scuttlebug11 said:

    alcohol
    no he is an alcoholic and the hospital won't let me bring her home she keeps saying if she comes home she will kill herself i know he is telling her what to say blessings denise

    No
    Denise you did not let your daughter down. We all raised our children the best way we knew at the time. You are not responsible for her choices as she is an adult. I hope this works out for you. You have a lot to deal with now. Please know we all care for you and want the best for you. Love Joanie
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #7
    scuttlebug11 said:

    nothing left
    it feels like they're is nothing left to fight for its been only the two of us for 13 years she has been my life i feel so bad for letting her down blessings denise

    Never give up..
    Dear sweet Denise...you did NOT fail your daughter and you need to quit beating yourself up for her poor choices and disrespectful behavior. Drugs can cause wonderful good loving children to act very ugly. I hate to say this, but you may have to give her up for awhile in order for her to discover what she has lost. Tough love is very hard, but often needed. Since she is a minor you might want to investigate getting some help through Human and Health Services in your community. It sounds like she is a danger to herself and if she's not willing to live with you under the rules you have in place, then she might benefit from a court ordered stay at a youth facility, or temporary foster care. You are facing a possible recurrance of your cancer and in all honesty, you probably will not be up to dealing with your daughters issues...especially if drugs are in play . This doesn't mean you give up on her, or throw her away, it just means you get some temporary help to get you both through the difficulties you are both going through. From what you have said before, there isn't any extended family, other than her alchoholic father that can step in and help you out...right? If thats the case, the only other resort is getting some help from the courts. It's better to have her put in a safe place than to turn her over to her dad. Children and Family Services should be able to give you some advice on what to do. If you had a good family willing to take care of her, then you could avoid the court route, but it doesn't sound like thats possible in your case. Once again, I'm so very sorry this is happening and wish I could do more. I'll keep you in my prayers that the biopsy tomorrow will come back clean....you could use a break right now, thats forsure! Hang in there dear lady and don't give up...retreat maybe, but don't EVER give up. Much love and good wishes to you...Sue
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #8
    scuttlebug11 said:

    nothing left
    it feels like they're is nothing left to fight for its been only the two of us for 13 years she has been my life i feel so bad for letting her down blessings denise

    Everything is left
    Denise,
    It is so hard when you are fighting so many battles at once. You really have to concentrate on yourself right now. What you are going thru with your own health is no joke. Try to talk to a social worker at the center where you go for your treatments. Thats what they are there for. They can help more than you think. I know you are going today so try to talk to one. At least set up an appointment. You are doing all you can for your daughter and she is still defying you. What else can you do. You have to keep an eye on your own health. We will all be here for you when ever you need us. Good luck today and keep us informed. John
  • miss maggie
    miss maggie Member Posts: 929
    #9
    daughter
    Dear Denise,

    Please see my other posts to you. At the time I posted, I had no idea your daughter was
    only 14. Nor did I know she is in the hospital. Maybe I missed this info. I hope
    everyone's answer to you is helpful.

    Love Maggie

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