New here...hi everybody
My mother had a laryngetomy in 2002, so I do have some idea of what I'm about to face...at this moment, however....I'm not so sure if I can face it with the same grace that she did...
phrannie
Comments
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Hey Phrannie
Grace is something everyone else thinks we have. It isn't how we feel. Just like courage in that regard, it is different looking in from the outside. First lesson, don't fight any battle until you have to. Conserve your strenth for only those battles you have to fight. Come here oftn. There's about nowhere you are going to go that someone else hasn't been before you. And keep the faith. The fact that we are still posting means we are still alive.
Best to you.
Pat0 -
Thank you, Pat for yourlongtermsurvivor said:Hey Phrannie
Grace is something everyone else thinks we have. It isn't how we feel. Just like courage in that regard, it is different looking in from the outside. First lesson, don't fight any battle until you have to. Conserve your strenth for only those battles you have to fight. Come here oftn. There's about nowhere you are going to go that someone else hasn't been before you. And keep the faith. The fact that we are still posting means we are still alive.
Best to you.
Pat
Thank you, Pat for your great advice. You're right, when my mom was sick, I was looking from the outside in...I'm trying to keep myself in the day...this day...and not project into the future. Tho, there are so many aspects of my life that have to be dealt with...from job to animals...to legal stuff...it's like having a hampster on a wheel whirling in my head. I'm less than 24 hours with this news, so hopefully I'll slow down, do my one foot in front of the other, and things will get taken care of.
I am SO grateful to find this forum...
p0 -
Welcome Phrannie
Ok, I have to know the specifics...how have the determined you have cancer, but don't know where?
Again, welcome to our little piece of the WWW.....a lot of great people here, tons of experience and knowledge....
Here is a link that addresses a lot of concerns and offers tons of survivor information, links and knowledge;
SuperThread
As for grace and acceptance, you do what you have to do to get you through....
My azz, and every other orifice was poked, probed and exposed for several months...grace you might retain, diginity and humility are out the window, LOL....
Oh, and if you don't have a sense of humor, get one....it will definitely get you through this far better than not having one.
Thoughts & Prayers,
John0 -
Humor!Skiffin16 said:Welcome Phrannie
Ok, I have to know the specifics...how have the determined you have cancer, but don't know where?
Again, welcome to our little piece of the WWW.....a lot of great people here, tons of experience and knowledge....
Here is a link that addresses a lot of concerns and offers tons of survivor information, links and knowledge;
SuperThread
As for grace and acceptance, you do what you have to do to get you through....
My azz, and every other orifice was poked, probed and exposed for several months...grace you might retain, diginity and humility are out the window, LOL....
Oh, and if you don't have a sense of humor, get one....it will definitely get you through this far better than not having one.
Thoughts & Prayers,
John
Phrannie
I wish I would have found this board when I first started treatment or even before...right after I was diagnosed....there are so many on here to give you good solid advice.
And a sense of humor is for sure a must! I inherited my dad's very strange warped sense of humor and I must say I think it helped me alot.
I had a friend who was a few years out from treatment and she was a great source of inspiration and my sounding board for my mental health. We had been friends since the 70's so we were no strangers. I was living away from my home but every day or so she would call and I swear she was reading my mind. "Thinking about tomorrow?" "Stop it"....deal with today. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Focus on you and no one else.....on and on. I hope you have someone like that in your life.
Reach out to those who can help you. I asked for all kinds of help wherever I went.
I also told myself alot that this is where I was meant to be (especially when lying bolted to the radiation table)....lots of loud rock n roll music...whatever you need to help you cope. Some do yoga, meditation....
Good vibes to you and we are all here to help as best we can.
Peace, Nancy0 -
I had a needle biopsy of anSkiffin16 said:Welcome Phrannie
Ok, I have to know the specifics...how have the determined you have cancer, but don't know where?
Again, welcome to our little piece of the WWW.....a lot of great people here, tons of experience and knowledge....
Here is a link that addresses a lot of concerns and offers tons of survivor information, links and knowledge;
SuperThread
As for grace and acceptance, you do what you have to do to get you through....
My azz, and every other orifice was poked, probed and exposed for several months...grace you might retain, diginity and humility are out the window, LOL....
Oh, and if you don't have a sense of humor, get one....it will definitely get you through this far better than not having one.
Thoughts & Prayers,
John
I had a needle biopsy of an enlarged lymph node on my neck last Monday by an ENT Dr....the results came in yesterday...squamous cells in that node. He did a visual exam of me that day, but it wasn't anything visible to his eye (or at least he sure didn't indicate he saw anything). When he called me yesterday, he said he'd get a PET scan set up to determine exactly where in my throat/neck it is, and get back to me. I'm assuming that will happen next week.
Thank you for the link, John...will be putting it in my Favorites.
I suppose today my humor might be dampened a tad...in general life, I can say I've laughed myself through a great deal of it (61 years), and not take it, or myself... so seriously. I know my humor isn't lost, that's for sure!
KNOWING that you aren't alone in the boat is such a relief...I have a great husband who is being a rock right now...he has the ability to get me to laugh at myself...and situations. I love looking at the world thru his eyes...his peephole...I also have a twin sister and a younger sister here in town. So I'm not alone.
p0 -
FNAphrannie51 said:I had a needle biopsy of an
I had a needle biopsy of an enlarged lymph node on my neck last Monday by an ENT Dr....the results came in yesterday...squamous cells in that node. He did a visual exam of me that day, but it wasn't anything visible to his eye (or at least he sure didn't indicate he saw anything). When he called me yesterday, he said he'd get a PET scan set up to determine exactly where in my throat/neck it is, and get back to me. I'm assuming that will happen next week.
Thank you for the link, John...will be putting it in my Favorites.
I suppose today my humor might be dampened a tad...in general life, I can say I've laughed myself through a great deal of it (61 years), and not take it, or myself... so seriously. I know my humor isn't lost, that's for sure!
KNOWING that you aren't alone in the boat is such a relief...I have a great husband who is being a rock right now...he has the ability to get me to laugh at myself...and situations. I love looking at the world thru his eyes...his peephole...I also have a twin sister and a younger sister here in town. So I'm not alone.
p
Ahhhh, the old FNA...OK, makes since then.
Did you say boat, LOL...many of my buds on here swap lies...ummm, I mean have fish stories we swap.
It's OK, to have a few days of WTH just happened from that phone call from the MD, we've all been there.
But, key is to accept it, and put on those combat boots and get prepared for war.
Surround yourself with positive people and positive attiude....leave no room for the negative sayers, and ban those people and thoughts for awhile.
A lot of awesome people here that have fought the war ahead of you, and survived, you will to.
Great that you have a hubby to care for you and get you through the rough times....
Best,
John0 -
Welcome I guess
Glad you found the site and sorry you had to. You are in for a journey and you will make it through even when you don't think you will. This is a great group and there are very few situations that at least someone has not encountered.
NOTE ON SUPERTHREAD - do not reply to the link or suffer the wrath of Sweetblood I learned the hard way. :>)
Hang in there.
Denny0 -
Thank you, Denny...Greend said:Welcome I guess
Glad you found the site and sorry you had to. You are in for a journey and you will make it through even when you don't think you will. This is a great group and there are very few situations that at least someone has not encountered.
NOTE ON SUPERTHREAD - do not reply to the link or suffer the wrath of Sweetblood I learned the hard way. :>)
Hang in there.
Denny
for the heads up on the SUPERTHREAD...I really would hate to ruffle feathers right when I first get here.
I'm just a little over 24 hours of "knowing"...yesterday I had the day off, and today I didn't have to be to work until 4:00. Didn't realize how good the distractions are for mental health...I've got horses, a big dog, and a husband all of which need my care and help. However, now I'm at work, the building is emptied out of people and my mind is taken this opportunity to try and peer into the unknown. I just have to get used to the idea, I guess. I tend to babble on when I'm nervous...please bear with me, until "acceptance" gets a better foothold in my thinking....I'm really scared at this moment.
p0 -
Welcome Welcomephrannie51 said:Thank you, Denny...
for the heads up on the SUPERTHREAD...I really would hate to ruffle feathers right when I first get here.
I'm just a little over 24 hours of "knowing"...yesterday I had the day off, and today I didn't have to be to work until 4:00. Didn't realize how good the distractions are for mental health...I've got horses, a big dog, and a husband all of which need my care and help. However, now I'm at work, the building is emptied out of people and my mind is taken this opportunity to try and peer into the unknown. I just have to get used to the idea, I guess. I tend to babble on when I'm nervous...please bear with me, until "acceptance" gets a better foothold in my thinking....I'm really scared at this moment.
p
This is a site no one would care to join or even read unless they or a loved one is diagnosed. Tons of info here and that super link really is a Godsend. Today I'm going to look up the recipes for soft food. Back to soup and runny eggs. It's okay, been down that road before and this isn't a bad.
So much depends on attitude. No matter what news you get or whatever your doctor tells you, keep the faith. We can drive ourselves crazy if we research it too much.
You'll get through this, just hang in there and stay positive. That's why I love the people here, always giving us the positive side of whatever we are going through.
Welcome once again and post away!
Tommy0 -
Pat and John nailed itphrannie51 said:Thank you, Pat for your
Thank you, Pat for your great advice. You're right, when my mom was sick, I was looking from the outside in...I'm trying to keep myself in the day...this day...and not project into the future. Tho, there are so many aspects of my life that have to be dealt with...from job to animals...to legal stuff...it's like having a hampster on a wheel whirling in my head. I'm less than 24 hours with this news, so hopefully I'll slow down, do my one foot in front of the other, and things will get taken care of.
I am SO grateful to find this forum...
p
Welcome Phrannie, sorry you're here. The SUPERTHREAD that John linked will save you a world of questions. It was put together by and for head and neck cancer patients from this forum and will give you better and faster answers than most medical sources for day to day problems and solutions.
Your crazy time will end soon, as you will be asked to wait at a few stations then. Dental o.k. usually comes first to take care of any existing or potential problems, then wait for biopsy and scan results, then waiting for presentation of treatment options. So, waiting comes next and it's one of the toughest things you'll do.
My SCC was found by lymph node also. They just took one oue and it was posiitive. Evetually you'll be on the old Ground Hog Day schedule for treatment, and the days will move around you like a lazy stream. You won't feel the neeed to get things in order.
I remember reading in Lance Armstrong's book "Without A Bike" that his agent and representatives for companies in Europe which Lance did endorsements for were arguing in his hospital room about whether he would be able to fulfill his contractual obligations. After a while they looked at Lance in the bed and asked his opionion, and he told them he was just trying not to throw up.
So it does get simpler, if not always easier. You're going to do fine.
best, Hal0 -
I'm staying here on this site....tommyodavey said:Welcome Welcome
This is a site no one would care to join or even read unless they or a loved one is diagnosed. Tons of info here and that super link really is a Godsend. Today I'm going to look up the recipes for soft food. Back to soup and runny eggs. It's okay, been down that road before and this isn't a bad.
So much depends on attitude. No matter what news you get or whatever your doctor tells you, keep the faith. We can drive ourselves crazy if we research it too much.
You'll get through this, just hang in there and stay positive. That's why I love the people here, always giving us the positive side of whatever we are going through.
Welcome once again and post away!
Tommy
and keeping away from doing research anywhere other than the SUPERTHREAD. My mind doesn't need the negative fodder of what I refer to as "dry sites"...the ones with all facts and no emotions, no feeling.
I've spent the last three hours on the SUPERTHREAD...I've got to figure out a way to gain weight...I need fattening healthy foods (darn, wish I could just polish off a 1/2 gallon of icecream a day)...how to gain twenty pounds in a short time, is baffling me. I'm thinking maybe high calorie, high protein powder, like muscle builders use?
I'm starting to think of questions, now...must be coming out of the protective fog of the last 24 hours.
Again....gawd, I am SO SO glad I found this forum...I hope I find my well of strength...I must have one, too...right?
p0 -
I'm new toophrannie51 said:I'm staying here on this site....
and keeping away from doing research anywhere other than the SUPERTHREAD. My mind doesn't need the negative fodder of what I refer to as "dry sites"...the ones with all facts and no emotions, no feeling.
I've spent the last three hours on the SUPERTHREAD...I've got to figure out a way to gain weight...I need fattening healthy foods (darn, wish I could just polish off a 1/2 gallon of icecream a day)...how to gain twenty pounds in a short time, is baffling me. I'm thinking maybe high calorie, high protein powder, like muscle builders use?
I'm starting to think of questions, now...must be coming out of the protective fog of the last 24 hours.
Again....gawd, I am SO SO glad I found this forum...I hope I find my well of strength...I must have one, too...right?
p
Phrannie -
I'm new here too and it looks like we are both animal lovers. My diagnosis is similar too but we do have differences. Mine was squamous cell on my temple that moved to my lymph node (preauricular) or in front of my ear but you can't feel it or see it. My treatment is radiation with that damned mask - 3 nights down - 34 to go. I'm making jokes all the time about it but that's how I handle most things. One step at a time on this and I'm referring to this as a blip on the screen some days and other days hit me sir - can I have another other days. I'll be anxious to hear how you are doing - welcome 0 -
PEG Tubephrannie51 said:I'm staying here on this site....
and keeping away from doing research anywhere other than the SUPERTHREAD. My mind doesn't need the negative fodder of what I refer to as "dry sites"...the ones with all facts and no emotions, no feeling.
I've spent the last three hours on the SUPERTHREAD...I've got to figure out a way to gain weight...I need fattening healthy foods (darn, wish I could just polish off a 1/2 gallon of icecream a day)...how to gain twenty pounds in a short time, is baffling me. I'm thinking maybe high calorie, high protein powder, like muscle builders use?
I'm starting to think of questions, now...must be coming out of the protective fog of the last 24 hours.
Again....gawd, I am SO SO glad I found this forum...I hope I find my well of strength...I must have one, too...right?
p
Eventually you might be suggested/prescribed to have a PEG tube (feeding tube) inserted.
Many people on here have had one, and many swear by it... A few of us didn't have one prescribed.
My point for mentioning it was from your weight anxiety... As for now you might add Ensure, Boost or something similar.
Evenetually for awhile during treatment, you might have to use those as your main source of nutrition for awhile. Especially if you are prescribed radiation treatment.
Myself I had nine weeks of three cycles of chemo, then seven weeks of concurrent chemo and daily rads...
STGIII SCC Tonsil Cancer HPV+...that was over three years ago now...
If the PEG is recommend or prescribed, get it. It's prescribed for a reason, to help you make it through.
Again, it's all very overwelming at first...
I remember my first few days, like you it was over a week-end, I got the news Friday morning.
Not having been exposed intimately with cancer or cancer patients. I thought of pale frail gray haired or no hair weak thin people that eventually waste away and die.
I was looking for all of my military records and getting all of my accounts and bills in order for my wife....
I was totally wrong...
Technology is great, treatment plans are awesome successfule these days....
You will definitely become educated on your type of cancer and treatment, and if your lucky as I was, you'll have minimal side effects (relatively speaking).
As mentioned on the other thread, I worked through my entire treatment.
I've been finished with treatment for nearly three years, all clean and clear and nearly 100% back to normal.
But forever changed....in reality, cancer has opened my eyes, it had taught me to realize again, that the things we think are big in out lifes and relationships, well they aren't really that big.
It's taught me to be more appreciative of the ones I love and have and what is truely important....
OK, LOL...have I taken your mind off of your situation for a few moments and hopefully to realize you will get through this and might even comeout gaining something more in your recovery....
Best,
John0 -
I saw the pic of your Boxer...hislove40 said:I'm new too
Phrannie -
I'm new here too and it looks like we are both animal lovers. My diagnosis is similar too but we do have differences. Mine was squamous cell on my temple that moved to my lymph node (preauricular) or in front of my ear but you can't feel it or see it. My treatment is radiation with that damned mask - 3 nights down - 34 to go. I'm making jokes all the time about it but that's how I handle most things. One step at a time on this and I'm referring to this as a blip on the screen some days and other days hit me sir - can I have another other days. I'll be anxious to hear how you are doing - welcome
..and I thought I saw in one of the threads that you do rescue, also?? That's what I want to do when I retire...This is first time in 30 years that I have had only one pupper in the house. MoJo...is his name.
As of yet, I don't have a precise diagnosis...just that I have squamous cell cancer somewhere above my shoulders. PET scan next week (I sure hope it's next week)...They didn't call today, even after I called them to make sure they use my cell number. There sure is a lot of hurry up and wait in this cancer business. I showed this lymph node to the first Dr. in the middle of January...showed it to the second Dr. a week later, the third 10 days after that...and finally the 4th Dr. (two weeks later) referred me to the ENT (which took 3 weeks to get in). Waiting is draining.
I'm finding so many beautiful attitudes here....so much humor, too...
Thank you for the warm welcome.
p0 -
actually you canphrannie51 said:I'm staying here on this site....
and keeping away from doing research anywhere other than the SUPERTHREAD. My mind doesn't need the negative fodder of what I refer to as "dry sites"...the ones with all facts and no emotions, no feeling.
I've spent the last three hours on the SUPERTHREAD...I've got to figure out a way to gain weight...I need fattening healthy foods (darn, wish I could just polish off a 1/2 gallon of icecream a day)...how to gain twenty pounds in a short time, is baffling me. I'm thinking maybe high calorie, high protein powder, like muscle builders use?
I'm starting to think of questions, now...must be coming out of the protective fog of the last 24 hours.
Again....gawd, I am SO SO glad I found this forum...I hope I find my well of strength...I must have one, too...right?
p
there are no rules on this, so whatever it takes is fine. Think calories first, protein second, everthing else, let someone else eat. I had dropped a bunch of weight right before my diagnosis and treatment this time. I couldn't swallow, and weight was dropping likke a stone. When they started chemo, right away I found I could swallow better, so I began to power down the calories, in advance of radiation. Knowing I just needed calories above all else, I made basic cheesecakes, and ate the devil out of them. Some days i ate an entire cheesecake. As soon as I'd finish one, I'd make another.
when I had chemo related nausea, i slacked off. But the moment thenausea was gone, it was back to the cheesecake. I gained over 2o lbs during chemotherapy, and didn't need a PEG during rads. I'm done with rads now, and I weigh more than I did before the process started.
Pat0 -
Welcome.Hondo said:Hi Phrannie
Welcome to the family, sorry to hear about your cancer, but here we are all the same and just glad to have you here with us.
God bless
Hondo
To the board Phrannie, Its not the place where any of us want to be but we all got brought
Together because God wanted us to have special people in our lives and here everone is
Special. I'm pretty new compared to most but I have learned a lot since joining everyone is so
compationate and helpfull. I can't wait to read the board on a daily basis its like having lots of
Virtual caregivers.... I'm 7 rad sessions in 26 to go for T2 tonsil c#@*@r. You will be fine, think
positive have faith. Fingers crossed for the PET.
God Bless.
Tonsil Dad
Dan.0 -
NewTonsil Dad said:Welcome.
To the board Phrannie, Its not the place where any of us want to be but we all got brought
Together because God wanted us to have special people in our lives and here everone is
Special. I'm pretty new compared to most but I have learned a lot since joining everyone is so
compationate and helpfull. I can't wait to read the board on a daily basis its like having lots of
Virtual caregivers.... I'm 7 rad sessions in 26 to go for T2 tonsil c#@*@r. You will be fine, think
positive have faith. Fingers crossed for the PET.
God Bless.
Tonsil Dad
Dan.
Hi Phrannie. I wish you the best on your scan and the results. Hang in there....stay strong. Sue0 -
The moment I wake upTonsil Dad said:Welcome.
To the board Phrannie, Its not the place where any of us want to be but we all got brought
Together because God wanted us to have special people in our lives and here everone is
Special. I'm pretty new compared to most but I have learned a lot since joining everyone is so
compationate and helpfull. I can't wait to read the board on a daily basis its like having lots of
Virtual caregivers.... I'm 7 rad sessions in 26 to go for T2 tonsil c#@*@r. You will be fine, think
positive have faith. Fingers crossed for the PET.
God Bless.
Tonsil Dad
Dan.
cancer is the first thing I think about...trying to mentally mesh "me and cancer" which so far, just doesn't want to go together. I know it, but can't "feel" it...I suppose that is par for the course, since I'm still less than 48 hours with the knowing part. I come to this board and feel the warmth...it's like a soft place to land for a while...thank you all for that!
So....icecream and cheesecake can work along with muscle builders drinks, I can pack on some pounds with those...mmmmm, two of my favorite indulgences.
p0
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