RCC and Re occurrence new member

LISAinTN said:

Hi
Hi FloJoe,

Sorry you had to join our club here. I can relate to what you're going through and feeling and I guess everyone else here can as well. It's like we were a certain person before the cancer diagnosis and we will now forever be different people after the diagnosis. It's all about finding a new normal, I guess. The other thing for me was, here I was just living my life and then I hear the words, "you have cancer" and then you're thrown into surgery and come out with your head spinning. I didn't even begin to deal with this until after surgery. It all just went too quickly. I'm still dealing with it today, somewhat.

Sometimes I try and put things into a different perspective, too. For instance, my little sister lost her only child, my 16 year old nephew, to a car accident 7 years ago this past March. Erik was 3 years younger then my son. We both had 1 boy. Now Erik is gone and my sister has no children and never will. She will have no grandchildren, either. Personally, I'd rather have cancer then lose my son. Sometimes I look around and there are just so many people out there that are worse off then I am. By saying all that, I don't mean to minimize what you, I or any of us are going through. It doesn't make it much easier to be in our situations, but maybe it helps a little to deal and live with it. When I think of my sister, I consider myself blessed to have only had cancer and if it kills me some day, which I hope it doesn't, at least I still have my son.

Also, my doctor told me I had around a 5% chance of recurrence. I couldn't stop thinking about that, but then I turned it around and thought, but that means I have a 95% chance of it never coming back. (I can't remember if I came up with that on my own or if someone here said that to me. Fuzzy, old brain of mine.) So, that helps me to try and remember that, too.

Well anyway, sorry to get so long winded. I'm glad you found us. It really helps to have people to talk to that can relate. Family and friends are wonderful, but they don't fully get it unless they've been through it, too.

Blessings,
Lisa

flojoe said:

Thank you for the support
Thank you everyone I can not tell you how great you all make me feel. My doctors have been supportive thru all this. As my urologist told me let me do all worrying for you. I thought easier said than done. But is true there is nothing I can do but keep getting my scans and thinking positive. I grateful it was found in time before it spread.

My mom has renal cancer Stage IV so it is hard becuase all we do is focus on cancer. She was diganosed in July 2011 and I shortly after that in AUG 2011. I was being persitant with my DR as I wanted to be checked even thou she felt it was not necessary. I know my mom saved my life becasue I did not have any symptoms. I feel awful becuase my mom's road is much harder than what I am dealing with and I feel silly even crying about my situation.
God does work in mysterious way.

I know my cancer was found for a reason becasue I have so much more life to give and live.

lbinmsp said:

Hi Joann
As others have said, fear is very understandable and very normal. I'm so glad, though, that your doctors are following you very closely. As most of us know, the only 'cure' for RCC is surgical removal so IF IF IF it comes back, you and they will catch it early while surgery is still a good option.

My initial diagnosis indicated that it should not come back - Stage I, Grade 2, contained within the kidney, no renal vein involvement, no lymph node involvement. But still, I found that I wasn't living - but just going through the motions between scans. I became so ANGRY at myself - because by allowing the fear to control me, I was letting cancer control my life. It was almost a physical battle but I chose to live life one day at a time - nobody knows what tomorrow can bring, but I would get up in the morning and say to myself - today you're alive and healthy and it's a glorious day! I reached the point where I only got scared a few days before the next set of scans. I chose LIFE - whatever that meant - I traveled, played, had a few great adventures - and laughed as often as possible.

I've had a couple of recurrances - but I've continued to travel, play, laugh - LIVE. I intend to keep doing all of those things - one day at a time. As I've told my friends and doctor - God's driving this bus now - I have no control - but I intend to enjoy the scenery until the bus stops!