HELP! Caregiver Depression...now what??

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  • benap
    benap Member Posts: 1
    #22
    mr steve said:

    Anti-depressants
    Trish,

    I've been a care giver for 1 1/2 years. just went on a A/D and it was perfect timing. Wifes CA has spread and surgery is out of the picture for now. It is keeping from being a complete basket case.

    what did your doctor prescribe for you?
    was it mild enough so that you were'nt gorked out or was it more of a 'spirit' lifter where you could handle everything better? My wife was diagnosed with billiary cancer in Sept '11 and so far she has had 2 surgeries to remove blockages in her colon. We're in the hospital now recovering from her second surgery and it's been very, very tough. I find little joy in anything but her smile and get such a rush when she says "I'm okay." but it doesnt last long and I find myself sad and sinking. I admire you all so much for your strength and toughness. It seems like I cry all the time and feel hopeless and frustrated.
  • CaliGal2012
    CaliGal2012 Member Posts: 9
    #23
    seanslove said:

    Never fear
    Trish,

    I so understand how you feel,as I am there right with you. I lost my husband a week ago now to this awful thing they so kindly call cancer. the word it's self does not do justice for what it does to our loved ones. Everyone comes to count on us to be the rock and the strength which the rest will revolve around,and this is the hadrest part of it all. For myself,I took 100% care of my husband,and now the emotional and finicial devstation has risen it's ugly head for me to once again face alone. I believe it is the feeling of being alone which over take us the most.
    At my husbands viewing last Friday night,I was the only one whom was seen as strong,as I sat by his side,as I always have,still holding his hand,touching his face,and every so often still placing a kiss on his lips. Many could not believe that I was taking this so well and in stride,however,I felt what good am I if I fall apart like the rest. However,over the last few days,the more that befalls on me the more I fall apart. What I am learning though,is each time I fall apart,I feel a little better. You ar fortunate to still have your love by your side,and all I can say is cheerish each day you have with one another,allow yourself the time to fall apart a little,and always share with your love how you really feel. I held these feelings in for so long,until a few days before my Sean passed,at which time I finally fell apart in front of him and told him how I really felt inside. I told him how scared I was to be without him,how much I worried over the past few months,and how much I loved him,which I never let to many hours ever pass in a day without telling him. He said to me it's ok. That simple set of words,"it's ok",some how gave me the final strength I needed to keep going over the last few days of his life.
    I don't know if this will help any,but I hope in some way it does. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Married only 2 yrs
    Husband
    Married only 2 yrs
    Husband just had major colon surgery. They call it HIPEC. In hospital 1 month.
    Thought they had got it all but just this week his CEA has gone up to 21. I'm told by nurse not to be concerned but how do I NOT be concerned. How do I live and breath each day knowing he is sick? They tell us there is no real cure best to hope for is remission.
    I watch him sleep at night. I maybe get three hours sleep and have full time job.
    How do people do this long term.

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