help i'm new and my boss doesn't get it

kellyjes
kellyjes Member Posts: 3
edited February 2012 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello Everybody,
I'm new here. I am in the middle of my breast cancer fight. I have finished chemo and surgery and I am about to start radiation. It will be October before all of my treatments are done. My boss wants to know when I'll be able to 'bounce back' and return to work full time. He doesn't understand, nor do I, how long treatment and recovery are going to take. Does anyone have any words, articles or book to recommend to help me explain it to him? Thank you for any help you can provide.
Kelly

Comments

  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #2
    Sorry you are dealing with this.
    I suggest you get your doctors to provide letters stating how long you are expecting to be out of work. There are guidelines around this in most states. Good luck with this difficult situation.

    Roseann
  • mom62
    mom62 Member Posts: 604 Member
    #3
    Men
    Hi Kelly,

    Men, enough said. I agree that you should get a letter from your doctor explaining your condition and that you will "bounce back" when your body is ready. Everyone is different. I would also go to human resources for your company policy regarding time off for illness. I would just tell him once treatment is done you will meet with him and discuss a time when you will come back full time, but until then you can't make that call as each day is different. At least that might get him off your back until your done your treatments and it's professional. Just my opinion.

    Terry
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #4
    mom62 said:

    Men
    Hi Kelly,

    Men, enough said. I agree that you should get a letter from your doctor explaining your condition and that you will "bounce back" when your body is ready. Everyone is different. I would also go to human resources for your company policy regarding time off for illness. I would just tell him once treatment is done you will meet with him and discuss a time when you will come back full time, but until then you can't make that call as each day is different. At least that might get him off your back until your done your treatments and it's professional. Just my opinion.

    Terry

    FMLA
    I hope you have filed for FMLA. Please check with your company Human Resources about your company policy for sick days, medical leave and short-term disability. Each state has it own nuances for medical disability. Talk to a social worker at your cancer center or oncologist office. Your doctors should provide you with documentation.
    Hugs
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #5
    Kelly: I wish you luck..I
    Kelly: I wish you luck..I did not have any conern from my 2 female supervisors back in 2008! At the start said do whatever you need...3rd day into radiation (left work and went back) I was called into the office and said you must use sick days for rest of treatments. I said 8 wks ...will wipe out all my days..THEY DID NOT care..(I had only taken 2 wks post lumpectomy) SADLY-life is like this..I said YOU HAVE NO IDEA what I am going through. She turned it around and said don't cry..I dont' like people mad at me..

    all about her...

    so my treatment center worked it out to get me in ON MY LUNCH HOUR...

    Denise

    good luck
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #6
    Much of this depends.
    Keep in mind that you are through the worst part of you treatment. I was stage 2 and able to work through everything with about 2 days off each month at the most. Durring radiation I was tired and my abscences became even less. I did not need to have others donate paid time off to me as I had quite a bank of it but our employer allowed this. I used what our state calls Intermittent FMLA so that the abscences I had, would not count against my attendance points and result in termination. Some bosses will also allow partial shifts or reduced work weeks, which seems to be the intent of intermittent FMLA.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #7
    laughs_a_lot said:

    Much of this depends.
    Keep in mind that you are through the worst part of you treatment. I was stage 2 and able to work through everything with about 2 days off each month at the most. Durring radiation I was tired and my abscences became even less. I did not need to have others donate paid time off to me as I had quite a bank of it but our employer allowed this. I used what our state calls Intermittent FMLA so that the abscences I had, would not count against my attendance points and result in termination. Some bosses will also allow partial shifts or reduced work weeks, which seems to be the intent of intermittent FMLA.

    I had no clue what FMLA was
    I had no clue what FMLA was prior...since then after support groups about work and cancer I really investigated in case I ever need ...in furture..

    I HOPE all works out...

    Denise
  • epark
    epark Member Posts: 339
    #8
    disneyfan2008 said:

    I had no clue what FMLA was
    I had no clue what FMLA was prior...since then after support groups about work and cancer I really investigated in case I ever need ...in furture..

    I HOPE all works out...

    Denise

    I had to use FMLA( Family
    I had to use FMLA( Family Leave Act) even though I worked through chemo and rads but at times I had to take some days off here and there...I suggest you look into that...

    Good Luck
    Eva
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
    #9
    You are also coved by the
    You are also coved by the Americans with Disability Act. My doctor told me I would be over the effects of chemo in 6 months after going thru 18 rounds of chemo. she was way off. I have since learned a good rule of thumb is to double the amount of time that you were receiving treatment. So for me 14 months equals 28 months. I am now at the 14 month stage and I now have the stamina to go back to work. Unfortunately on work days that means get up go to work, come home and in bed asleep by 8. On weekends I have to take a couple of naps each day. But I so wanted to go back to work and not be stuck at home.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #10
    epark said:

    I had to use FMLA( Family
    I had to use FMLA( Family Leave Act) even though I worked through chemo and rads but at times I had to take some days off here and there...I suggest you look into that...

    Good Luck
    Eva

    My job sent me paper work
    My job sent me paper work the day I told them about cancer. I had no idea what is was so just set it aside! I was told at support group for employee cancer issues..someone in HR should have called me to explain. WHEN I was told use ALL MY sick time for radiation still myboss never suggested anything..(luckily treatment center adjusted schedule to accomodate me on my lunch hour which was NOT flexiable..

    GOOD LUCK with all your issues with work..

    Denise
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #11
    epark said:

    I had to use FMLA( Family
    I had to use FMLA( Family Leave Act) even though I worked through chemo and rads but at times I had to take some days off here and there...I suggest you look into that...

    Good Luck
    Eva

    Please do check into FMLA as
    Please do check into FMLA as it should help you. So many don't understand what going through bc and treatment is like and how could they in a way if they haven't experienced it first hand. I hope that your boss will understand better what you are going through.

    Hugs, Jan
  • kellyjes
    kellyjes Member Posts: 3
    #12
    sweetvickid said:

    You are also coved by the
    You are also coved by the Americans with Disability Act. My doctor told me I would be over the effects of chemo in 6 months after going thru 18 rounds of chemo. she was way off. I have since learned a good rule of thumb is to double the amount of time that you were receiving treatment. So for me 14 months equals 28 months. I am now at the 14 month stage and I now have the stamina to go back to work. Unfortunately on work days that means get up go to work, come home and in bed asleep by 8. On weekends I have to take a couple of naps each day. But I so wanted to go back to work and not be stuck at home.

    work
    Thank you for all your advice. I have been sick and in the hospital more than out. My doctors commented that I just happen to be one of those people who will get most of the side effects. I am worried about radiation. Every time someone says 'this will be better' I get more ill. At least I know if I do get very ill again. It will only be six weeks of radiation.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #13
    kellyjes said:

    work
    Thank you for all your advice. I have been sick and in the hospital more than out. My doctors commented that I just happen to be one of those people who will get most of the side effects. I am worried about radiation. Every time someone says 'this will be better' I get more ill. At least I know if I do get very ill again. It will only be six weeks of radiation.

    You can get thru rads. We
    You can get thru rads. We will help you in anyway possible. When do you start them?


    Leeza
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #14
    epark said:

    I had to use FMLA( Family
    I had to use FMLA( Family Leave Act) even though I worked through chemo and rads but at times I had to take some days off here and there...I suggest you look into that...

    Good Luck
    Eva

    Eva: I never realized your
    Eva: I never realized your could use days here and there. When I first checked into it after the fact I THOUGHT it was up to 12 wks or whatever straight. (I educated myself a bit just in case ever need it -again) I think my HR dept was supposed to walk me through etc...but nodda!

    so much helpful info here from people and experiences!

    I wish I had found long ago..i stumbled on here couple years after the fact...glad I did..

    Denise

    *I also mis understood how much I would have to pay for my insurance if time off. I THOUGHT FULL amount NOT MY normal portion and knew couldn't pay full amount. all good to know for future (hopefully wont' need)
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #15
    kellyjes said:

    work
    Thank you for all your advice. I have been sick and in the hospital more than out. My doctors commented that I just happen to be one of those people who will get most of the side effects. I am worried about radiation. Every time someone says 'this will be better' I get more ill. At least I know if I do get very ill again. It will only be six weeks of radiation.

    Sorry
    sorry to hear you are having so much problem with radiation as it is usually the easier treatment for most. But of course we are all different so it just goes to show you that one of us is going to have a rough time with radiation. Sorry it had to be you.
  • kit kat
    kit kat Member Posts: 56
    #16
    Yes durning Chemo everyone
    Yes durning Chemo everyone was kind and understanding. I left early and took shorter days. Now I'm back to my regular time and they load me up with tons of work They figure " Oh she's Okay she's not dying' Let the nonsense resume.

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