Hey Sundance, keep your chin up...

Craig- I know you've been tracked down on another thread (thanks to Tommycat) but because you are feeling blue (emotionally and physically) I wanted to throw this out there as a tribute to help pick you up and place you on your feet again. Your posts, as usual, bring good things out of people and bring good people out of bad things like no others. You do have a gift for communication that is rarely seen on disscussion forums and we are very fortunate to have you on this one. If they ever made a Mount Rushmore of cancer survivors your likeness would definetly be there as the "great communicator". But who would it be, Craig, Big Billy or the Lion? They've all made such an impact. I wish there was something people could say or do to lessen the burdens you bear but we each have our own lives to lead and Cross to carry. If I could say anything I guess it would be that some people go through life and toward the end wonder if what they did, the moments they shared with others, the breaths they took for granted, or the shadows they cast made the slightest bit of difference or the smallest ripple in the pond of life. Well let me tell you brother, you don't have to wonder. You've made a splash. You are etched in stone in the minds and hearts of everyone on here and your story, your life book, is far from it's last page. You are writing it daily in the pages of everyone else's books.
I know things are tough for you right now so I'll share with you how I sometimes see this cancer journey. I compare it to the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks. (everyone should see this, by the way) Life is going along fine, you are making memories and plans then WHAM, the diagnosis (plane crash). Then there's fear and isolation and the truth of your own mortality. (it does feel like you're alone on an island) Then loneliness, resentment and finally acceptance and reflexion on what could've and might've been. Then there is the realization of survival mode and the pain, fear and doubt of treatment. Once we've settled in we get hopefull of rescue and have short lived joy at little things like a good blood test or a clean scan. We live month to month by the scan, the test and the appointment each one with the potential for joy or sorrow but ulimately out of our control. We each have our own goals and outcomes and what we consider milestones. We each cling to something different to keep us afloat and write our own S.O.S. in the sand. For those that know the movie, this forum is almost like Wilson. We use this as a surrogate companion and confidant, stuck in the same situation that can relate to us like no spouse or family member can. We share things here we could rarely say in person to anyone. And it helps to get it out. So I believe, as in the movie, we are all rescued from this island. Whether it is by life(cure)or death we are all eventually rescued from the fear, pain, loneliness and isolation. We just have to wait it out.
Finally, when things get tough and you feel low, maybe think about this quote where Tom Hanks' character describes how even though he survived (by chance) and was rescued, he had lost everything he once had and through the despair he gets his inspiration from hope.
"I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
Take care Craig, hope you're feeling better.
CJ