Fear

Sue22
Sue22 Member Posts: 99
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Hello there people,

I have a general question.

When you are cancer free, does the FEAR of the cancer coming back go away with time?

Or is it always in the back of your mind.....not too far?

Sue

Comments

  • shoeloy
    shoeloy Member Posts: 70
    #2
    Well......
    I've been NED for almost a year and I still have times that I wonder if and when it will come back. Not sure it will ever leave my mind,

    Loyd
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    #3
    It varies from person to person
    You've probably heard that phrase before Sue, no less true for this question I would imagine. I don't think about it much, and I don't sweat the scans much. I can take the obvious precautions, then I'm done with it. You shouldn't have to live with it when you don't have it.

    best, Hal
  • Sue22
    Sue22 Member Posts: 99
    #4
    Hal61 said:

    It varies from person to person
    You've probably heard that phrase before Sue, no less true for this question I would imagine. I don't think about it much, and I don't sweat the scans much. I can take the obvious precautions, then I'm done with it. You shouldn't have to live with it when you don't have it.

    best, Hal

    Tks
    Tks Lloyd and very well said Hal. Tks a lot.
  • fisrpotpe
    fisrpotpe Member Posts: 1,349 Member
    #5
    depends
    for me the thought has not left me. the difference for me is i do not dwell on it being bad. i look at it like i have a second chance. so when the thought comes to me i keep having fun and do not dwell on the bad times.

    this is not easy to do that is for certain. no does it just happen, it took me a couple years to stop dwelling. every time i turn my head i get a slight tug that reminds me of how blessed i am.

    it does get better, best way is to keep having fun

    john
  • MarineE5
    MarineE5 Member Posts: 1,034 Member
    #6
    Good Question
    Sue,

    Good Question followed by good answers. I was told by my Radiation Oncologist that the first 2 years is when most of us feel the stress of this. Around the 5 year mark, I was told that we are at the same percentage of getting cancer as someone that never had it before. I don't know how true that is, but it sounded good to me, so I'm running with that.

    I'm like John, when I turn my head and receive that tug, it reminds me of what I have been thru. I think we will always be looking over our shoulders, but I think we should only glance back and concentrate on looking forward more.

    My Best to You and Everyone Here
  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    #7
    all of us have been through some proof that we are truly immortal. Once that fact is made real, the concept of death is no longer that abstracct. Time helps getting over whatever obsession this gives us, as does distraction. That's not to say that every new lump or bump we ever get doesn't put us back in the game again.

    I had 12 years off between cancers. Lots of lumps and bumps along the way, which proved to be nothing (well, except I had a heart attack in the interim). Then one day I had cancer again. I've handled things pretty well, under the circumstances. Imagine if I'd given 12 years of my life to constant worry.

    Best to you both.

    Pat
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #8
    Hi Sue

    I am not sure if the fear of heading the word “its back” ever goes away because it is always there in the back of our minds. Somehow as times goes on for me it does get easier to believe that maybe it is finally over. Maybe it is just my belief that if it does ever come back God will give me the strength to fight it again a 4th time.

    It is my pray that God will bless you both in staying C free and enjoying live.
    Tim Hondo
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #9
    Now Part of Who We Are....
    I think it's just now a part of who we are...at least for me.

    It's something that I went through, and that part of me will never go away. I don't dwell on having had it, but I definitely am a bit more paranoid from having it.

    Before, I wasn't that big on MD visits...usually what ever I had going on, would eventually go away....until one time it didn't.

    Now if I have something going on (especially in the throat area) for more than a few days...I'll have to admit, I start getting concerned.

    So far I've been very fortunate that it hasn't really been anything other than changes due to residual and scarring.

    I actually just had a routine CT this week, and still holding on, nothing has changed an no signs of recurrence.

    Over three years Dx, and coming up on three years post Tx....

    Like mentioned, I'm sure every one of us have our triggers concerning it.

    Best,
    John
  • jtl
    jtl Member Posts: 456
    #10
    I concur with the others
    I concur with the others that there is no reason to dwell on events that may or may not happen in the future. I don't expect a recurrence but it obviously can happen and it is certainly more likely for us then the general population. Having said that it is encouraging to see that there is progress in treating this disease. The use of Cetuximab either by itself or in combination with a platinum drug and with better radiation technology is showing promise. Good luck to everyone.
  • Sue22
    Sue22 Member Posts: 99
    #11
    Skiffin16 said:

    Now Part of Who We Are....
    I think it's just now a part of who we are...at least for me.

    It's something that I went through, and that part of me will never go away. I don't dwell on having had it, but I definitely am a bit more paranoid from having it.

    Before, I wasn't that big on MD visits...usually what ever I had going on, would eventually go away....until one time it didn't.

    Now if I have something going on (especially in the throat area) for more than a few days...I'll have to admit, I start getting concerned.

    So far I've been very fortunate that it hasn't really been anything other than changes due to residual and scarring.

    I actually just had a routine CT this week, and still holding on, nothing has changed an no signs of recurrence.

    Over three years Dx, and coming up on three years post Tx....

    Like mentioned, I'm sure every one of us have our triggers concerning it.

    Best,
    John

    Dx - Tx
    Great input. Tks John.

    What is Dx and Tx?
  • Sue22
    Sue22 Member Posts: 99
    #12
    jtl said:

    I concur with the others
    I concur with the others that there is no reason to dwell on events that may or may not happen in the future. I don't expect a recurrence but it obviously can happen and it is certainly more likely for us then the general population. Having said that it is encouraging to see that there is progress in treating this disease. The use of Cetuximab either by itself or in combination with a platinum drug and with better radiation technology is showing promise. Good luck to everyone.

    New
    It all make sense what you are saying.
    I will pass your answers to Carmen which she appreciates much. Tks :)

    The concerned and interested messenger, Sue
  • Larrykins
    Larrykins Member Posts: 38 Member
    #13
    Sue22 said:

    Dx - Tx
    Great input. Tks John.

    What is Dx and Tx?

    Dx Tx
    Dixie and Trixie. I joke. Diagnosis and treatment. X marks the spot I guess!

    Good news John, glad to hear it.

    My fear and paranoia are with me but then I am only 7months down the road of survivorship. For me though I have to push it away as the thought of it is like trying to imagine the infinity of space. I am happy to enjoy the time between scans as being free from a whole lot of pain.

    I do fear recurrence but then I still buy lottery tickets...go figure.
  • robinleigh
    robinleigh Member Posts: 297
    #14
    Sue22 said:

    New
    It all make sense what you are saying.
    I will pass your answers to Carmen which she appreciates much. Tks :)

    The concerned and interested messenger, Sue

    Our enemies
    Just said to my husband last week that our enemies are worry and fear. They would both only rob you of each day. And that being said, I'm sorry to say, is in the middle of battling a metastasis to the bone and liver. But, as we have learned on this site and from within, we treasure every day and we refuse to be a statistic. We try not only to survive, but LIVE! Remember...this starts as a curable cancer. Don't waste any time with worry and fear. Your odds for a recurrence are very low. We are in the small percentage of metastasis but grasp the belief that we can be in that small percentage that survives a metastasis...
  • ValerieMo
    ValerieMo Member Posts: 27
    #15
    Skiffin16 said:

    Now Part of Who We Are....
    I think it's just now a part of who we are...at least for me.

    It's something that I went through, and that part of me will never go away. I don't dwell on having had it, but I definitely am a bit more paranoid from having it.

    Before, I wasn't that big on MD visits...usually what ever I had going on, would eventually go away....until one time it didn't.

    Now if I have something going on (especially in the throat area) for more than a few days...I'll have to admit, I start getting concerned.

    So far I've been very fortunate that it hasn't really been anything other than changes due to residual and scarring.

    I actually just had a routine CT this week, and still holding on, nothing has changed an no signs of recurrence.

    Over three years Dx, and coming up on three years post Tx....

    Like mentioned, I'm sure every one of us have our triggers concerning it.

    Best,
    John

    Great news on your CT
    So awesome to hear!
    Val
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #16
    Always in the back of my mind, not too far.
    I think it just the way it is. It been three years January, since my surgery, and I still have fear it may come back.

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