everything changes

Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing the best they could at a very sad time. I have been in your shoes, not the person with the cancer, my husband died 2 weeks from supragottic cancer of the throat. That was 15 months ago with the dx. That was the hardest 15 months of our lives! He got so sick form the cemo and rad treatments. Lost so much weight, he had a feeding tube and a track. Was in and out of the hospitol so many times. The last day with him here in the house was like every other morning. He did sleep in that morning 2 weeks ago. I thought that is good, then I went in the bedroom and said " You have to get up and take your meds and a can of food. So I helped him out of bed and to the restroom. Went into the kitchen and gave him his meds and his can of jevity. He said he wanted to set the for awhile. I said ok. So I went into the living room and got my tea, and said you want to go set in your chair now? he nodded. He could not talk there at last. So I helped him to his chair. We where watching the doctors. Then I got up and cleaned the bathroom floor, because he messed on the floor. Did that and threw some cloths in the washer, and fixed me my lunch. Went in the living room he looked like he was sleeping, I thought I'd better check his sugar because it did drop before and called 911 because I couldn't keep it up. Anyway it was 198 Thats when I called 911 I think he died before I even checked his sugar! Omg that is so terrible. So I just thought i would put this down because I will not be checking in on Head and Neck Cancer I am in the grieving site, from there I don't know where I will be? I am so very sad and so lonely now! At least when we were fighting the beast we had some hope! Now everything has stopped! I miss him terrible!! No one knows only when they go through it! I hope everyone on the site as a better outcome!