I have a sick feeling

JackieA
JackieA Member Posts: 150
in Caregivers #1
Hi, hope everyone is hanging on. I wanted to share this feeling I have. My stomach is queasy and I feel overwhelmed. today when my husband awaken and was getting ready for chuch I heard his voice. His voice sounds muffled-as if his throat is sore. THis has been happening for a while but he got upset when I mentioned it. It sounded clogged. As I watched him, he struggled to get dressed, out of breath just going from the bathroom to our bed- about 15 feet. I get this queasy sick feeling when I watch him. I see a frighten young man-constantly on med. The up and down cycle is taking a toll on me. Sometimes I feel like I want to drink or take a drug to ease my mind. Please pray for us.
One day if he is drugged up well enough, he is good...He has starting to blockk me out again. Not letting me know what he is feeling. Tell me he feels okay, but hardly say 3 words to me if we are in the same room. I am so on edge for him. One day he talks about dying, the next day he talks about driving to Los Vegas. His dr told him the other day that he was amazing and that he beat the odds. My husband asked how many more treatments...and the dr replied--until we see the disease is progressing more or the patient says enough... My husband said, he understands why people say enough and he understands why people kill themselves. He also asked the dr to speak at his funeral, and he asked him not to let him suffer at all. Well, I got this sick feeling when I see my husband, when he hurts, when he cries, when he struggles to put a sock on (he can't). When he can barely get up out of his chair, while he struggles to push his walker along. When he spends hours trying to cough up a little phlegm---he did that last night. Wow....My heart goes out to all of you....all of you. I am so sorry.

Comments

  • SlowRollin
    SlowRollin Member Posts: 75
    #2
    Hang in there
    Jackie I'm so sorry you're hurting. I can hear your pain and I wish there was something that could be done to ease both of your pains. It has to be one of the hardest things that anyone must endure - caring for our most precious family members when they're so sick or hurting. I hug my beautiful wife each day and cry with her until I have to go to work. Then call her all night to make sure she's still with me. Just six months ago this wasn't even a thought...now it's our everyday life.
    Please know my prayers are with you and your husband. A prayer of peace, of strength, and of love. This can't be easy for him and he has to be taking it hard to rely on you like this. Just love him with all you can and leave the rest in God's hands. With his help, you can do this. My prayers are with you!

    Tony
  • JackieA
    JackieA Member Posts: 150
    #3
    SlowRollin said:

    Hang in there
    Jackie I'm so sorry you're hurting. I can hear your pain and I wish there was something that could be done to ease both of your pains. It has to be one of the hardest things that anyone must endure - caring for our most precious family members when they're so sick or hurting. I hug my beautiful wife each day and cry with her until I have to go to work. Then call her all night to make sure she's still with me. Just six months ago this wasn't even a thought...now it's our everyday life.
    Please know my prayers are with you and your husband. A prayer of peace, of strength, and of love. This can't be easy for him and he has to be taking it hard to rely on you like this. Just love him with all you can and leave the rest in God's hands. With his help, you can do this. My prayers are with you!

    Tony

    Thank you Tony
    Sorry it took so long to respond. It helps so much that someone who is going through this responds and say...I know what you mean. THank you. Prayers are with you as well.

Discussion Boards