Had an Emotional Day - I met with a Social Worker to Talk About Surrogacy.

LoveBabyJesus · January 2012

Hi my lovely ladies - Hope you are all doing well and feeling great.

Today I met with a social worker to discuss options about surrogacy. I am only 33 and I harvested my eggs before treatments last year. The truth is, I am scared to get pregnant now. But I also want a child! So I am to consider other options such as surrogacy. This brought out a lot of emotions I had inside. Just worried about everything life could bring, if I bring a child into this world. But I also want to live. I want to feel as normal as possible. And I always wanted a child. I haven't made up my mind yet - this is VERY COSTLY! - But I am meeting with a couple of agencies to discuss possibilities.

What would you do?

Happy? Sad? A little bit of both, I guess. I am just out of treatments, and of course, this would require some time. But it doesn't hurt to imagine the possibility of being a mom.

That's all. Thanks for listening sisters.

Frankie Shannon · January 2012

Life is not guaranteed,live
Life is not guaranteed,live in the moment as we don't know what tomorrow will bring as young as you are go for what your heart tells you, the joy of becoming a Mom there is nothing like it.Don't worry about everything life could bring just take it one day at a time.

Hugs Frankie

MAJW · January 2012

Life....
Life brings no guarantees....health wise or life in general....if you want to be a mother, go for it....but I wouldn't do surrogacy without a reputable attorney....to protect yourself, financially and emotionally....explore all your options...is it important to you for the child to be your's biologically? I know you have eggs frozen....if not, you could explore a private adoption....again with a reputable attorney......how does your husband feel?

Give yourself time to explore all options....I have a friend who had ovarian cancer when in college....one ovary removed...she underwent intensive chemo....told she would more than likely never conceive.....well, she has a two beautiful, biological teenage daughters,that she gave birth to....
Have you discussed a possible pregnancy with your oncologist?
We never know what life has in store for us... Follow your heart
Keep us posted...
Hugs, Nancy

mamolady · January 2012

People with out cancer have,
People with out cancer have, for some reason or another, not been there to raise their children. My sister knew a woman that died from complications of child birth. Not common now days, but she left 4 kids to be raised by their father. There are no guarantees for anyone. All you can do is live your life the best you can.
Like everyone else has said, be sure to cover all the bases legally and be careful when selecting the surrogate.
Good Luck!
Cindy

Texasgirl10 · January 2012

mamolady said:
People with out cancer have,
People with out cancer have, for some reason or another, not been there to raise their children. My sister knew a woman that died from complications of child birth. Not common now days, but she left 4 kids to be raised by their father. There are no guarantees for anyone. All you can do is live your life the best you can.
Like everyone else has said, be sure to cover all the bases legally and be careful when selecting the surrogate.
Good Luck!
Cindy

Surrogacy
I agree with the others when they say have a good lawyer & make your selection carefully. You are very young & motherhood is a wonderful thing. I wish you all the best in your decision.

Hugs,

Dawne

survivorbc09 · January 2012

mamolady said:
People with out cancer have,
People with out cancer have, for some reason or another, not been there to raise their children. My sister knew a woman that died from complications of child birth. Not common now days, but she left 4 kids to be raised by their father. There are no guarantees for anyone. All you can do is live your life the best you can.
Like everyone else has said, be sure to cover all the bases legally and be careful when selecting the surrogate.
Good Luck!
Cindy

One never knows what
One never knows what tomorrow will bring so if you want a child, please go for it and try. Just live your life the way you want to.

I wish you good luck,

Jan

aysemari · January 2012

I can relate
For all I know I may already be in menopause at age 38.
And I never had children. I am not sure what will happen
but I made my peace with it. I love children and I wouldn't
mind adopting at this point.

I am sure it would be a great experience but such is life
not everyone gets to experience everything.

So decide on how much this means to you and depending on
your honest answer - I'd say go for it! Don't be sad, remember
you already are luckier than many.

Hugs,
Ayse

missrenee · January 2012

aysemari said:
I can relate
For all I know I may already be in menopause at age 38.
And I never had children. I am not sure what will happen
but I made my peace with it. I love children and I wouldn't
mind adopting at this point.

I am sure it would be a great experience but such is life
not everyone gets to experience everything.

So decide on how much this means to you and depending on
your honest answer - I'd say go for it! Don't be sad, remember
you already are luckier than many.

Hugs,
Ayse

Well said, dear friend Ayse
As many of us know, having children is a wonderful miracle and if this is something you've always dreamed of, don't give up that dream.

However, happiness and fullfillment come in so many different forms. I truly hope and pray that you find yours, dear sweet sister. You are so special and deserve all the special things in life that make you happy.

The best of luck and if you can, please let us know how this is going.

Love and hugs, Renee

butterflylvr · January 2012

missrenee said:
Well said, dear friend Ayse
As many of us know, having children is a wonderful miracle and if this is something you've always dreamed of, don't give up that dream.

However, happiness and fullfillment come in so many different forms. I truly hope and pray that you find yours, dear sweet sister. You are so special and deserve all the special things in life that make you happy.

The best of luck and if you can, please let us know how this is going.

Love and hugs, Renee

You will make a fantastic
You will make a fantastic mother for many years to come... I say go for it girl!

♥ Lorrie

CypressCynthia · January 2012

I was also just 33 when I
I was also just 33 when I was first diagnosed with Stage 3. I had one child and chose not to have another because I was too scared. The idea of leaving my daughter motherless worried me so. Katherine was just 4 when I was diagnosed. But here is the kicker--I am now almost 59 (in March) and Katherine is 29.

So, we never know what the future will hold. Follow your heart! (but also make sure that you have a good support system in place for your child just in case).

DebbyM · January 2012

missrenee said:
Well said, dear friend Ayse
As many of us know, having children is a wonderful miracle and if this is something you've always dreamed of, don't give up that dream.

However, happiness and fullfillment come in so many different forms. I truly hope and pray that you find yours, dear sweet sister. You are so special and deserve all the special things in life that make you happy.

The best of luck and if you can, please let us know how this is going.

Love and hugs, Renee

I agree that you will be a
I agree that you will be a great Mother, so, if you really want a child, go for it!

Hugs

Debby

Double Whammy · January 2012

CypressCynthia said:
I was also just 33 when I
I was also just 33 when I was first diagnosed with Stage 3. I had one child and chose not to have another because I was too scared. The idea of leaving my daughter motherless worried me so. Katherine was just 4 when I was diagnosed. But here is the kicker--I am now almost 59 (in March) and Katherine is 29.

So, we never know what the future will hold. Follow your heart! (but also make sure that you have a good support system in place for your child just in case).

Your options
It sounds like you're doing a great job of exploring all your options. You'll have all that information in hand when you're ready to make a decision. You've been presented with a very difficult set of circumstances and there is no right answer, only the answer that feels best for you. And as time goes by and treatments become not such a fresh memory (we never forget them, tho)you will be stronger.

Hugs,
Suzanne

Lynn Smith · January 2012

Double Whammy said:
Your options
It sounds like you're doing a great job of exploring all your options. You'll have all that information in hand when you're ready to make a decision. You've been presented with a very difficult set of circumstances and there is no right answer, only the answer that feels best for you. And as time goes by and treatments become not such a fresh memory (we never forget them, tho)you will be stronger.

Hugs,
Suzanne

Having children
Having Children takes alot out of a body.You've been through BC.It can weaken your immune system when taking chemo etc.I didn't take chemo or radiation but since my dx I feel stressed and tired just knowing I have this beast.It's a worry.I'm only a 2 1/2 year survivor so I have a long way to go.My friend is a 17 year survivor just recently and she still worries. She gets very very nervous going in for her mammos and says she doesn't feel comfortable after all these years. Your life or your body will never be the same.

When I was preg with my first child I was 19. I didn't realize I should eat for 2.I didn't and was sick all the time.Almost died with a kidney infection.I wasn't drinking enough for 2. It is rewarding to have children but can be draining and complicatons can arise. I almost didn't make it with my son.I just prayed and my prayers were answered.He also was a preemie and was in a incubator for 3 weeks.I just remember telling God I can't die.I have a baby to raise.He needs me.My prayer was answered.

I can't imagine what your are going through.Very hard decisions for you.Like others have said,get a good attorney and go over and over everything.Wishing you the best.

Lynn Smith

grams2jc · January 2012

Everyone else is right..
length of life is not guaranteed for any of us, cancer dx or not.

But on a happier note, I know a couple who could not have their own child due to gyn issues that she had. His sister carried their now 8 year old twins for them, and they were blessed with a boy and a girl. His sister never wanted children of her own and is very comfortable with the aunt relationship she has with the twins.

You are right to explore and get all of your info and bases covered. Then follow your heart.

Jennifer

jnl · February 2012

Lynn Smith said:
Having children
Having Children takes alot out of a body.You've been through BC.It can weaken your immune system when taking chemo etc.I didn't take chemo or radiation but since my dx I feel stressed and tired just knowing I have this beast.It's a worry.I'm only a 2 1/2 year survivor so I have a long way to go.My friend is a 17 year survivor just recently and she still worries. She gets very very nervous going in for her mammos and says she doesn't feel comfortable after all these years. Your life or your body will never be the same.

When I was preg with my first child I was 19. I didn't realize I should eat for 2.I didn't and was sick all the time.Almost died with a kidney infection.I wasn't drinking enough for 2. It is rewarding to have children but can be draining and complicatons can arise. I almost didn't make it with my son.I just prayed and my prayers were answered.He also was a preemie and was in a incubator for 3 weeks.I just remember telling God I can't die.I have a baby to raise.He needs me.My prayer was answered.

I can't imagine what your are going through.Very hard decisions for you.Like others have said,get a good attorney and go over and over everything.Wishing you the best.

Lynn Smith

If you truly want a child,
If you truly want a child, you should have a child anyway you can. I think it would be wonderful! I wish you the best in your decision.

Hugs, Leeza

Had an Emotional Day - I met with a Social Worker to Talk About Surrogacy.

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