you mean what I feel really does matter

Anne Behymer

Ok I am in pallative care but not because I am near the end. I have been having so much trouble with the pain that I am no longer living my life. The pain dictates my days and usally it stay home and try not to move. I have for three months been working with a pain doctor (really three) at AZ pain center with no help at all. Every time I say that the pain is really getting bad so bad that I walk with a walker, can no longer go upstairs so I am living in the bottom part of the house, and I go now where but doctors appointments and chemo. I am in so much pain that I either sleep all day or can't sleep at all. I told them I have felt like I am a slave to the pain and want the pain to stop, so instead of increasing until we reach a theraputice leave they through another drug at me that is not really a pain medication. So today I met with NP who sat down with me ask question listen to what I was feeling valudated that what I was feeling was ok and that she is here to help. She can not write a script for me because I am not under hospic yet, she does know that I have an appointment with my new pain doctor refered by them and set down with my current medication and upped some, removed some, and added back in one that was removed. In all it works out to the day of my appointment I will not run out until I get to the pain doctor. I felt like for the first time in a long time someone listen and cared about my pain. She also will call every day until I make it in to see the doctor to make sure I am not to drugged, She also told my mom what to look for what to have me do each day to make sure I was not to sedated. I really loved that fact that she included my mom in the discussion and in the treatment plan. I praise God for Pallative care at first I was scared like I must be dieing because I was now on it but they put that to rest the first day they set me up. Thank you all for your prays and support I have needed it very much. I will continue to pray for my teal sisters and anyone God has placed on my heart. LUV YOU ALL