People say the damnest things
Anne
Comments
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Anne....
I can only assure
Anne....
I can only assure you of two things:
Yes, you are going to die, but chances are, it's not going to be tomorrow. Or next week, or even this year.
When my cousin called to tell me that she had lung cancer, I asked her, very reluctantly, "Is it.....terminal?"
She said, "Well, that depends on how you look at it. We're all terminal, aren't we?"
My cousin was right; we're all terminal. Shortly after I was diagnosed, I started reading all the statistics and studied all the tables, and I finally decided my chances were either 100% or zero - either it will kill me, or it won't. I hope you can reach that same place, mentally. It's a lot better than where I was for the first few months. I cried all the time.
I still have periods of anxiety (waiting for test results, for instance) and sometimes I will find myself thinking about some future event, and suddenly wonder if I will live to see it. For what it's worth, though, I don't have any broken bones, and I had 18 consecutive chemo treatments. I did develop some neuropathy, but it's not bad and it's getting better, even though it has only been 2 years, not 10.
In the words of Scarlett O'Hara...."I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."
Carlene0 -
Thank you so muchHissy_Fitz said:Anne....
I can only assure
Anne....
I can only assure you of two things:
Yes, you are going to die, but chances are, it's not going to be tomorrow. Or next week, or even this year.
When my cousin called to tell me that she had lung cancer, I asked her, very reluctantly, "Is it.....terminal?"
She said, "Well, that depends on how you look at it. We're all terminal, aren't we?"
My cousin was right; we're all terminal. Shortly after I was diagnosed, I started reading all the statistics and studied all the tables, and I finally decided my chances were either 100% or zero - either it will kill me, or it won't. I hope you can reach that same place, mentally. It's a lot better than where I was for the first few months. I cried all the time.
I still have periods of anxiety (waiting for test results, for instance) and sometimes I will find myself thinking about some future event, and suddenly wonder if I will live to see it. For what it's worth, though, I don't have any broken bones, and I had 18 consecutive chemo treatments. I did develop some neuropathy, but it's not bad and it's getting better, even though it has only been 2 years, not 10.
In the words of Scarlett O'Hara...."I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."
Carlene
for your kind words for the most part I am doing ok but when someone like that just does not get it when it comes to how much to share it really gets to me. The blood draw I was in there for we to see if the cancer is back last blood draw my numbers just 16 points so today I was a little on the nerves side. I also am still I feel in the early months I was just told in June that I had cancer and before I could even process it I was in an operation room. I like what your cousion said about we all are terminol I never thought of that before but we all are going to die of something. I will try to keep that in mind and remind myself of that when I get upset. I have the neuropathy really bad I have to walk with a walker because of it plus I have very week museles to walking is hard. I am going to write on a peace of paper I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. Again thanks for the kind words
Anne0 -
anne....i am a stage IVAnneBehymer said:Thank you so much
for your kind words for the most part I am doing ok but when someone like that just does not get it when it comes to how much to share it really gets to me. The blood draw I was in there for we to see if the cancer is back last blood draw my numbers just 16 points so today I was a little on the nerves side. I also am still I feel in the early months I was just told in June that I had cancer and before I could even process it I was in an operation room. I like what your cousion said about we all are terminol I never thought of that before but we all are going to die of something. I will try to keep that in mind and remind myself of that when I get upset. I have the neuropathy really bad I have to walk with a walker because of it plus I have very week museles to walking is hard. I am going to write on a peace of paper I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. Again thanks for the kind words
Anne
anne....i am a stage IV survivor as well....i can tell you it has totally changed my life...i wish there was a switch i could flip to forget i have cancer but it's staring me in the face every single day. i have my ups and downs but for the most part i try to live my life as normally as possible. some days i really want to give up but then that feeling passes and i join the world of the living again. i admire all the women on this board...we've all been dealt a lousy hand of cards but we all have to make the most of it. i get inspired every time i read the courageous words of all you girls out there. love and prayers to all...karen0 -
Sluggish portkaren1951 said:anne....i am a stage IV
anne....i am a stage IV survivor as well....i can tell you it has totally changed my life...i wish there was a switch i could flip to forget i have cancer but it's staring me in the face every single day. i have my ups and downs but for the most part i try to live my life as normally as possible. some days i really want to give up but then that feeling passes and i join the world of the living again. i admire all the women on this board...we've all been dealt a lousy hand of cards but we all have to make the most of it. i get inspired every time i read the courageous words of all you girls out there. love and prayers to all...karen
If your port is not giving a good blood return, you need something called "Cathflo" which will keep your port from clotting up. Talk to your doctor about it. The last thing you need is to have your port replaced.0 -
Anne, I have only ever toldAnneBehymer said:Thank you so much
for your kind words for the most part I am doing ok but when someone like that just does not get it when it comes to how much to share it really gets to me. The blood draw I was in there for we to see if the cancer is back last blood draw my numbers just 16 points so today I was a little on the nerves side. I also am still I feel in the early months I was just told in June that I had cancer and before I could even process it I was in an operation room. I like what your cousion said about we all are terminol I never thought of that before but we all are going to die of something. I will try to keep that in mind and remind myself of that when I get upset. I have the neuropathy really bad I have to walk with a walker because of it plus I have very week museles to walking is hard. I am going to write on a peace of paper I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. Again thanks for the kind words
Anne
Anne, I have only ever told someone to shut up once, but it felt so good to say "CAN IT!" when I did. I was totally justified, and you would be too, so think about trying that in the future. This woman was probably easing her anxiety by spreading it around. Just what we all need.
I am stage 1C and feel so incredibly lucky. I try to be careful about what I say to other women with OVCA, because I remember very clearly how jealous I felt when I found an acquaintance of mine had stage 1A and was already 5 years NED. I'm still jealous, which is ridiculous, because I might as well be jealous of those with no cancer.
A little dark humor, along the lines of Carlene's cousin - I hate flying and many times have been terrified of dying in a plane crash. Now, when I fly, I relax and think that if the plane goes down, I will be counted as a "cure," since I will have died of something else
For me the fear is not of being dead, because I do not believe in any after life, there is nothing to fear. It's getting there that has me cowering in a corner. Sometimes, coming to this board really scares me, but mostly, I see the courage with which the women here fight on, and it inspires me.
Re the neuropathy - Have you tried some of the OTC remedies recommended here? Alpha Lipoic Acid helped me tremendously. B6 and magnesium also helped, but not so much as the ALA.0 -
that was what they used tocarolenk said:Sluggish port
If your port is not giving a good blood return, you need something called "Cathflo" which will keep your port from clotting up. Talk to your doctor about it. The last thing you need is to have your port replaced.
that was what they used to get it going thank you so much for the advise0 -
Thank you so muchanicca said:Anne, I have only ever told
Anne, I have only ever told someone to shut up once, but it felt so good to say "CAN IT!" when I did. I was totally justified, and you would be too, so think about trying that in the future. This woman was probably easing her anxiety by spreading it around. Just what we all need.
I am stage 1C and feel so incredibly lucky. I try to be careful about what I say to other women with OVCA, because I remember very clearly how jealous I felt when I found an acquaintance of mine had stage 1A and was already 5 years NED. I'm still jealous, which is ridiculous, because I might as well be jealous of those with no cancer.
A little dark humor, along the lines of Carlene's cousin - I hate flying and many times have been terrified of dying in a plane crash. Now, when I fly, I relax and think that if the plane goes down, I will be counted as a "cure," since I will have died of something else
For me the fear is not of being dead, because I do not believe in any after life, there is nothing to fear. It's getting there that has me cowering in a corner. Sometimes, coming to this board really scares me, but mostly, I see the courage with which the women here fight on, and it inspires me.
Re the neuropathy - Have you tried some of the OTC remedies recommended here? Alpha Lipoic Acid helped me tremendously. B6 and magnesium also helped, but not so much as the ALA.
I so understand being a little jealous when I see how many were so lucky to find theirs at stage 1 no matter what letter came. I went from feeling a littke down and having trouble breathing to have cancer in the last stage before death. But I put that out of the way right away because no matter what degree of OVC you have it changes your life forevery. Thanks for advise it will look into the alpha lipoic acid I could use any help in that department.
Anne0 -
LMAOanicca said:Anne, I have only ever told
Anne, I have only ever told someone to shut up once, but it felt so good to say "CAN IT!" when I did. I was totally justified, and you would be too, so think about trying that in the future. This woman was probably easing her anxiety by spreading it around. Just what we all need.
I am stage 1C and feel so incredibly lucky. I try to be careful about what I say to other women with OVCA, because I remember very clearly how jealous I felt when I found an acquaintance of mine had stage 1A and was already 5 years NED. I'm still jealous, which is ridiculous, because I might as well be jealous of those with no cancer.
A little dark humor, along the lines of Carlene's cousin - I hate flying and many times have been terrified of dying in a plane crash. Now, when I fly, I relax and think that if the plane goes down, I will be counted as a "cure," since I will have died of something else
For me the fear is not of being dead, because I do not believe in any after life, there is nothing to fear. It's getting there that has me cowering in a corner. Sometimes, coming to this board really scares me, but mostly, I see the courage with which the women here fight on, and it inspires me.
Re the neuropathy - Have you tried some of the OTC remedies recommended here? Alpha Lipoic Acid helped me tremendously. B6 and magnesium also helped, but not so much as the ALA.
Too funny "Now, when I fly, I relax and think that if the plane goes down, I will be counted as a "cure," since I will have died of something else"
I am going to remember that when I fly.0 -
Insensitive Folks
This world has too many insensitive, cruel, or ignorant folks in it. I don't think they are aware that WE KNOW this cancer is uncurable...duh! and odds are against us. I don't know how I'll meet my end...maybe in a plane crash but odds are my "dust bunnies" will come down off the walls at night and attack.
As I'm writing, my mind is still playing out that my last blood test showed my markers back up and I'm sweating my retesting the end of the month to see if i go back for my 3rd session of chemo. This time will be difficult as I'm totally on my own..my husband died in July and I have no children and no family within 1100 miles. My friends and neighbors are good to me but they don't thankfully have this yucky disease to tend with and can't comprehend it won't heal like a broken leg or a nasty cold.
I so appreciate this forum because everyone on here is in a similar boat as me. It provides love, support and information. In this forum people are SENSITIVE and kind.
Always know that you are not alone on this journey...we all care and see a little bit of our hopes and fears in everybody's post. May today bring you sunshine and when it does get a little rocky, look for the rainbow that follows.
My best wishes for all is this.
Shirley
TexanByChoice0 -
Shirley,TexanByChoice said:Insensitive Folks
This world has too many insensitive, cruel, or ignorant folks in it. I don't think they are aware that WE KNOW this cancer is uncurable...duh! and odds are against us. I don't know how I'll meet my end...maybe in a plane crash but odds are my "dust bunnies" will come down off the walls at night and attack.
As I'm writing, my mind is still playing out that my last blood test showed my markers back up and I'm sweating my retesting the end of the month to see if i go back for my 3rd session of chemo. This time will be difficult as I'm totally on my own..my husband died in July and I have no children and no family within 1100 miles. My friends and neighbors are good to me but they don't thankfully have this yucky disease to tend with and can't comprehend it won't heal like a broken leg or a nasty cold.
I so appreciate this forum because everyone on here is in a similar boat as me. It provides love, support and information. In this forum people are SENSITIVE and kind.
Always know that you are not alone on this journey...we all care and see a little bit of our hopes and fears in everybody's post. May today bring you sunshine and when it does get a little rocky, look for the rainbow that follows.
My best wishes for all is this.
Shirley
TexanByChoice
My heart goes out
Shirley,
My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband in April, 2010. I do have two grown children, but when we've lost our mate half of us is gone. If you have experienced what I have, people do not want us to grieve. Maybe because they don't know what to say.
I too love this board. I find it so comforting. Even if one of us does say the wrong thing, we can always blame it on chemo brain.
Best wishes to you.
Carla0 -
Caring thoughts to all.mom2greatkids said:Shirley,
My heart goes out
Shirley,
My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband in April, 2010. I do have two grown children, but when we've lost our mate half of us is gone. If you have experienced what I have, people do not want us to grieve. Maybe because they don't know what to say.
I too love this board. I find it so comforting. Even if one of us does say the wrong thing, we can always blame it on chemo brain.
Best wishes to you.
Carla
My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones. It is bad enough to be going under treatment or in remission. Like many say, that is why these boards are so good. It is where at least there is some type of bond and no matter how silly my question might be, everyone respects that question here.
With people saying the darndest things, take this one. My older brother came from out of town for a visit. As we are talking, he says to me "so did they say it was actually cancer that you had"? What?!! I was so flabergasted! No I just love to get a hysterectomy, a staging surgery, take chemo and brachytherapy. Get a hernia, get another positive biopsy. Get additional surgery. Unbelieveable. Its no wonder why when I had my additional surgery in February of 2010 that it took him over 6 weeks before he called me.
Here are other things people have said to me:
1. You don't look sick
2. Are you pregnant? (from the large hernia I got after my staging surgery) And the fact that at the time I was 49 years old.
Sometimes you just have to laugh with what people come up with!
My best to you all.
Kathy0 -
I am sorry to hear that youTexanByChoice said:Insensitive Folks
This world has too many insensitive, cruel, or ignorant folks in it. I don't think they are aware that WE KNOW this cancer is uncurable...duh! and odds are against us. I don't know how I'll meet my end...maybe in a plane crash but odds are my "dust bunnies" will come down off the walls at night and attack.
As I'm writing, my mind is still playing out that my last blood test showed my markers back up and I'm sweating my retesting the end of the month to see if i go back for my 3rd session of chemo. This time will be difficult as I'm totally on my own..my husband died in July and I have no children and no family within 1100 miles. My friends and neighbors are good to me but they don't thankfully have this yucky disease to tend with and can't comprehend it won't heal like a broken leg or a nasty cold.
I so appreciate this forum because everyone on here is in a similar boat as me. It provides love, support and information. In this forum people are SENSITIVE and kind.
Always know that you are not alone on this journey...we all care and see a little bit of our hopes and fears in everybody's post. May today bring you sunshine and when it does get a little rocky, look for the rainbow that follows.
My best wishes for all is this.
Shirley
TexanByChoice
I am sorry to hear that you feel you are alone in this fight because your not all of us are here to support and love you while you go through this fight. I do understand it helps to have someone right there while you are fight for your life do you have any family that could come stay with you during the really hard times. I will be lifting you up every day and we are here for you.
Anne0 -
I hate when someone says butKaleena said:Caring thoughts to all.
My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones. It is bad enough to be going under treatment or in remission. Like many say, that is why these boards are so good. It is where at least there is some type of bond and no matter how silly my question might be, everyone respects that question here.
With people saying the darndest things, take this one. My older brother came from out of town for a visit. As we are talking, he says to me "so did they say it was actually cancer that you had"? What?!! I was so flabergasted! No I just love to get a hysterectomy, a staging surgery, take chemo and brachytherapy. Get a hernia, get another positive biopsy. Get additional surgery. Unbelieveable. Its no wonder why when I had my additional surgery in February of 2010 that it took him over 6 weeks before he called me.
Here are other things people have said to me:
1. You don't look sick
2. Are you pregnant? (from the large hernia I got after my staging surgery) And the fact that at the time I was 49 years old.
Sometimes you just have to laugh with what people come up with!
My best to you all.
Kathy
I hate when someone says but you don't look sick or when I really am feeling bad saying you look good today. I know they are trying to help but it would be nice when I say I don't feel good thay just say what can I do to help you. And what is up with asking if you are pregnant soe he not know what a hysterectomy is, really is he that insensitive and does not understand that his words hurt and since he is your brother he should be there to help you . I am soooo sorry he said that stuff to you. You are in my prays.0 -
We are all hereAnneBehymer said:I am sorry to hear that you
I am sorry to hear that you feel you are alone in this fight because your not all of us are here to support and love you while you go through this fight. I do understand it helps to have someone right there while you are fight for your life do you have any family that could come stay with you during the really hard times. I will be lifting you up every day and we are here for you.
Anne
Anne---you are right about remarks. My favorite was a woman saying she thought I was more relaxed and didn't get upset like she did. Pulled that one off didn't I. Actually I don't sweat the small stuff that most people waste precious time on why should I? The "beast" gives me bigger fish to fry--like pt scans, ca125 and chemo. Some people just don't get it. I still buy green bananas and look forward to events more than a week away. I made up my mind I am in this for the long haul and take everyday as a blessed time. I do hope and pray you have an easier time of it as you proceed with your treatment. Stay in touch, I don't always post but I do read the board frequently.
Verna0 -
Vernavj1 said:We are all here
Anne---you are right about remarks. My favorite was a woman saying she thought I was more relaxed and didn't get upset like she did. Pulled that one off didn't I. Actually I don't sweat the small stuff that most people waste precious time on why should I? The "beast" gives me bigger fish to fry--like pt scans, ca125 and chemo. Some people just don't get it. I still buy green bananas and look forward to events more than a week away. I made up my mind I am in this for the long haul and take everyday as a blessed time. I do hope and pray you have an easier time of it as you proceed with your treatment. Stay in touch, I don't always post but I do read the board frequently.
Verna
I love your attitude and it's also the way I choose to live my life. It is the only way I can be sure the beast is not winning.
Karen0 -
Thanks, Vernavj1 said:We are all here
Anne---you are right about remarks. My favorite was a woman saying she thought I was more relaxed and didn't get upset like she did. Pulled that one off didn't I. Actually I don't sweat the small stuff that most people waste precious time on why should I? The "beast" gives me bigger fish to fry--like pt scans, ca125 and chemo. Some people just don't get it. I still buy green bananas and look forward to events more than a week away. I made up my mind I am in this for the long haul and take everyday as a blessed time. I do hope and pray you have an easier time of it as you proceed with your treatment. Stay in touch, I don't always post but I do read the board frequently.
Verna
I LOVE your bit about buying green bananas, and I've been using it a lot lately. It fits the situation perfectly.
Cheers,
Jo0 -
Green bananasvj1 said:We are all here
Anne---you are right about remarks. My favorite was a woman saying she thought I was more relaxed and didn't get upset like she did. Pulled that one off didn't I. Actually I don't sweat the small stuff that most people waste precious time on why should I? The "beast" gives me bigger fish to fry--like pt scans, ca125 and chemo. Some people just don't get it. I still buy green bananas and look forward to events more than a week away. I made up my mind I am in this for the long haul and take everyday as a blessed time. I do hope and pray you have an easier time of it as you proceed with your treatment. Stay in touch, I don't always post but I do read the board frequently.
Verna
LOVE IT!!! That is going to be my new visualation. Whenever I have one of those days, I'm going to tell myself that "I'm still buying green bananas."
(((HUGS))) Maria0
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