Tired, angry, depressed

rrob
rrob Member Posts: 158
in Colorectal Cancer #1
I just finished my 3rd Folfiri with Avastin treatment. The bad news is that my cea actually went up from 12.1 to 19.7. I asked my dr if this means it's not working and he said no, that he has other patients who's cea has fluctuated like this. He wants me to do one more treatment and then scans.

I am sorry to whine, but I'm so tired of this darn disease consuming my life. I want to feel good again, to be able to laugh without being in tears the next minute. I feel like life is going on around me and I'm struggling just to put one foot in front of the other.

Not a very uplifting post, but hopefully you can understand how I feel. How do you deal and pick yourself back up when you feel like this?

Rebecca

Comments

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    #2
    CEA could actually be good news..
    a sudden increase, or "flare" has been linked in some studies to better prognosis. They think it is due to the sudden death of a lot of cancer cells, that then release the protein that CEA tests for into the bloodstream. A woman on another site I'm on had a similar situation recently, and despite the flare, her PETs have been fine, and now the CEA is back down so things are looking good. The article below might be of interest to you if you want more info on this. Good luck, and I hope the scans give you some good news-Ann

    http://fightcolorectalcancer.org/research_news/2009/11/cea_flares_during_chemo_dont_mean_cancer_progression
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #3
    annalexandria said:

    CEA could actually be good news..
    a sudden increase, or "flare" has been linked in some studies to better prognosis. They think it is due to the sudden death of a lot of cancer cells, that then release the protein that CEA tests for into the bloodstream. A woman on another site I'm on had a similar situation recently, and despite the flare, her PETs have been fine, and now the CEA is back down so things are looking good. The article below might be of interest to you if you want more info on this. Good luck, and I hope the scans give you some good news-Ann

    http://fightcolorectalcancer.org/research_news/2009/11/cea_flares_during_chemo_dont_mean_cancer_progression

    I understand you very well Rebecca, I feel like you many
    Times , but there are other moments , for which is worthy to live , isn't that? I try to think in this moments and the good moments to come!.
    Hugs dear friend!
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #4
    You beat me to it with this
    You beat me to it with this post. I have been fighting this disease for over 6 years. I just had the right lobe of my liver removed (second recurrence, fist recurrence in 4 years). I just had a portacath put in for the second time and start treatment this Wednesday. For 3 months now I have been experiencing moments of happiness by moments of total depression. I found my self crying as I was driving yesterday several times. I feel like I am officially a prisoner of the disease again after 4 years of freedom now that the port is back in. I is like being released from prison only to be locked up again for a parole violation. I pick myself up by being thankful for all of the things I do have including this moment and by the fact that I am not willing to give in to this disease and believe I will NOT die from it or the brutal treatments and surgeries.
  • tommycat
    tommycat Member Posts: 790 Member
    #5
    Have you read the post After
    Have you read the post After Cancer---now what? by Just4Brooks? It really nails this topic and there is a lot of input and some suggestions--and at the very least, some solidarity.

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