Dad met with Oncologist today. Not the greatest news. When is it time to recognize that sometimes ho

froggerjen said:

It's like I am writing your post
Jennifer,

This is Jen, and my Dad has EC as well. What you are writing is so similar to what my sister and I have experienced, it's almost scarey! We experienced the "dumbed down" thing as well. So we made sure we are allowed to call the doctor ourselves and have permission to receive any information. I think my parents were and are still in denial, shock, whatever else you want to call it, and just simply don't hear and remember everything being said in medical appointments. When we ask them questions, simple questions,they don't know. They give some vague answer that doesn't make sense. Or, say for example, I go with to a doctor's appointment. Then my Mom will tell my sister completely incorrect information relating to that doctor's visit. I mean, you have to respect your parents as adults, but also want to be the best informed you can.

My dad put off his chemo/radiation for months because they were moving into a new house, then this and that excuse..... eventually he had to face it, though, which he is now. Hang in there, I know exactly how you are feeling right now. The first time my Dad started chemo , the stupid nurse(sorry, that's how I feel) said to my parents that my Dad was getting the "big guns" of chemo. That scared the crap out of my Mom.. geez. See if your dad will put you on the medical chart as someone who has permission to receive information. Then call the doctor yourself and ask ask ask, as many questions as you want. That's what they are there for. My sister calls my Dad's doctor at the Mayo every week or more just to ask questions. They are more than willing to answer and take time to talk to her. Hang in there, you can msg me privately if you want to talk more.

Jen

sham81 said:

i will pray
Dear Jenniffer

I will pray for u n u r dad tht its not a met in hips, which I am sure it aint I can't undertand though how could u r doctor operate on ur dad when he was unsure abt the hips... I think u need to fly down n meet the doctor take a weeks break I think your dad needs u now more than ever ... U have to be the strong one u have to go there and help him make the right decisions
Love and regards
Shammi

sham81 said:

i will pray
Dear Jenniffer

I will pray for u n u r dad tht its not a met in hips, which I am sure it aint I can't undertand though how could u r doctor operate on ur dad when he was unsure abt the hips... I think u need to fly down n meet the doctor take a weeks break I think your dad needs u now more than ever ... U have to be the strong one u have to go there and help him make the right decisions
Love and regards
Shammi

paul61 said:

I would really suggest a second opinion
Jennifer,

I am not sure how easy this is to do under the Canadian medical system, but I would suggest that you have your parents inform you Dad's oncologist that you should be given access to all of his medical notes and test results (I have heard from other Canadian patients that this can be a challenge) and I would request a second opinion.

Post operative chemotherapy is certainly a challenge, I can speak from personal experience. But it is survivable. The chemo drugs are very powerful and depending on your Dad's other medical profile accommodations may have to be made. I know the oncologist does not want to put your Dad through suffering that does not change the final outcome. But if it were me, I would want to hear it from one other oncologist before I accepted it.

I hope the news improves as things move forward,


Best Regards,

Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
Two year survivor

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!