Moms 13th Angel Day 1/8/12

I lost my mom to Kidney Cancer on 1.8.99, the day after her 42nd birthday. She had only been diagnosed the previous September and with that last admission to the hospital 12.29.98 she seemed to be well, not so near death. I miss my mother so very much....she was taken much too soon. The night before she passed the family all came to the hospital to visit her for her Bday. She asked for either my sister or myself to stay the night with her again ( I had stayed the night before) I asked my sister to but she did not want to ( I think it was too hard for her) so I stayed with her, I did not want her to be alone. We stayed up until around 5 am ( I think, it's kind of blurry) talking, I remember talking about a lot of different things, her saying she loved us (her daughters) which she didn't say much, she had a tough time expressing her feelings out loud. At one point she asked for me to tell the nurses she wanted to see the priest on duty, and the nurses dismissed me saying "your mother will be fine, she probably just has anxiety" so I went back to her room and we continued to talk. She was having a lot of trouble breathing and the breathing tubes were not really working. I finally laid down to sleep next to her on the little extra bed they brought to the room. I was awoken around 9am to a nurse coming into the room to give my mom some meds and check on her and she was gone. I just started bawling and after they pronounced her death and had a social worker come in I asked for time alone with her. I sat there with her crying for around 2 hours until my moms best friend came to help the hospital with her arrangements. It hurts me so that I was not awake when she passed over, I hope she was able to pass peacefully.