Mum has gone :(

Mum2bellaandwilliam
Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
edited December 2011 in Peritoneal Cancer #1
I cannot believe I am typing this, it still doesn't feel real.
Last Tuesday evening mum was taken into hospital , she died on Wednesday night. She had caught pneumonia and just could not fight it off.
It has been he'll. In the hospital they asked mum if she wanted to be resuscitated ,she Said yes, it was as much as she could do to say yes.10 minuets later the doc came in for a word, took us out of the room and said it was a pointless to resuscitate her , it was awful , I wanted to go with her wishes , but as the docs said it would be awful to watch and pointless.
At 7.40 Tuesday she slipped away so peacefully, all of her children with her.Catherine , j and I were deciding who should go home , so we could do shifts, I had just said to my sister shall we tell her it's ok to let go. Looked around 30 seconds later she was gone. It was almost like she made the tough decision for us, Like mums do they always think of there children.
I just cannot believe this has happened, I knew it was in the post, but just not this quickly. Poor mum she was so poorly for those last 24 hours, she didn't look like my mum, but she kept smiling as we spoke to her and as I Was telling her to fight she kept squeezing my hand
I am so pissed off this ***** has robbed her of Xmas and turning 70 on Xmas day.
But I can take this from her death......cancer can no longer frighten her or us any longer and for that I am grateful.
She had no remission and constant ascites that needed to be drained , she never once complained.
My mum is a hero and an inspiration.
I will miss her so much , where am going to go when I am in the s**t? She always knew what to do.
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Comments

  • stella65
    stella65 Member Posts: 152
    #2
    So so sorry
    I have no words really, all I can say is that I am thinking of you and understand your anger about this damn cancer, just don't let it eat away at you

    Lots of love to you and take care X
  • Carolyn68
    Carolyn68 Member Posts: 39
    #3
    stella65 said:

    So so sorry
    I have no words really, all I can say is that I am thinking of you and understand your anger about this damn cancer, just don't let it eat away at you

    Lots of love to you and take care X

    So sorry for your loss
    I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your "Mum". I followed your story and also prayed that she would be better. Now, she is in a place with no pain and surrounded by angels. Cancer is an ugly thing....I, too, understand your anger...it is our place now to make this world a better place for hope in research and education in this our disease.
    Blessings to you and your family. Take care....and know that others care.
  • Best Friend
    Best Friend Member Posts: 222
    #4
    God!
    so sorry for this. It seemed like ur mom was finally getting to feel a tad bit better. I feel like it's never the actual cancer that kills but the treatment drains them of all they have.
    i can only say that we thank you for sharing ur mom's life with us. God Bless u, your family, and may ur mom look down on all of us!
  • Lovingmymom
    Lovingmymom Member Posts: 54
    #5
    Thank you
    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey and to let you know how saddened I was to hear of your mum's passing. Personally, I related to your raw emotion of both frustration and honesty and of your pure and unconditional love for your mum. I am beginning the journey of caring for my mom diagnosed with ppc a few short weeks ago. I stopped breathing on Nov. 14th. You are right, Mums always think of their children and she will always be a hero to us all.
    Be well and breathe.
    J-
  • MarisaUK54
    MarisaUK54 Member Posts: 41
    #6
    So sorry..
    I was so sad when I read your post...

    My thoughts are with you, my dear. I'm sure your mum found strength and comfort from all your love and support.

    Fondly
    Marisa
  • lulu1010
    lulu1010 Member Posts: 367
    #7
    MarisaUK54 said:

    So sorry..
    I was so sad when I read your post...

    My thoughts are with you, my dear. I'm sure your mum found strength and comfort from all your love and support.

    Fondly
    Marisa

    My prayers...
    My prayers are with you. I pray God puts his arms around you and grants you comfort and peace. You were such a loving and devoted daughter. You would make any mother proud. It is not fair that she never even got a remission. We had lost a friend to this disease last year who also got no remission.
    She is in a better place and I know that she would want you to continure to thrive and find joy in your life. It is what we all want for our children.
    It will take time but one day the pain will go away and you will enjoy life again...that is what your mother would want. Hugs.
  • westie66
    westie66 Member Posts: 642
    #8
    lulu1010 said:

    My prayers...
    My prayers are with you. I pray God puts his arms around you and grants you comfort and peace. You were such a loving and devoted daughter. You would make any mother proud. It is not fair that she never even got a remission. We had lost a friend to this disease last year who also got no remission.
    She is in a better place and I know that she would want you to continure to thrive and find joy in your life. It is what we all want for our children.
    It will take time but one day the pain will go away and you will enjoy life again...that is what your mother would want. Hugs.

    My sympathies are with you
    HI: So sorry to hear that your mom is no longer with you. An awful thing for you to go through. I lost my mom last May and it still seems unreal. I keep on going to telephone her.
    Cheryl
  • AussieMaddie
    AussieMaddie Member Posts: 345 Member
    #9
    Love from many surrounds you (((( ))))
    Hi,

    I'm so sorry that your mum couldn't hold on anymore, but it sounds as though to have held on further would have caused her more pain, emotional as well as physical. And seeing her children suffer couldn't have been easy for her.

    You say:

    "I can take this from her death......cancer can no longer frighten her or us any longer and for that I am grateful.
    She had no remission and constant ascites that needed to be drained , she never once complained."

    That's a very big thing to take from your mother's death. I hope it comforts you often.



    "My mum is a hero and an inspiration."

    My personal belief is that inspiration is something that sits in the heart waiting for the time it is needed.


    "I will miss her so much , where am going to go when I am in the s**t? She always knew what to do"

    Maybe not straight away, but over time, I wonder if you can call on her, consider what advice she would give at those times.

    My love to you,

    AussieMaddie xxxx
  • eward
    eward Member Posts: 210
    #10
    so sorry
    This is such sad news and I am terribly sorry to hear that your mom has passed away. I have been out of town and have not checked mail in a week. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. xoxoEileen
  • wanttogetwellsoon
    wanttogetwellsoon Member Posts: 147
    #11
    leaving
    I cried quietly when I read your post. I'm so very sorry.
  • daBeachBum
    daBeachBum Member Posts: 164
    #12
    So very sorry
    I am so very sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking to hear. My heart goes out to you and your family. It's scant consolation, but at least she is free of pain and worry now.

    Strength and Love...

    Ray
  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
    #13
    daBeachBum said:

    So very sorry
    I am so very sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking to hear. My heart goes out to you and your family. It's scant consolation, but at least she is free of pain and worry now.

    Strength and Love...

    Ray

    @Aussie Maddie
    your post was beautiful, it moved me to tears , the way you summarised my post meant so much , it made me realise the post I had written for mum was beautiful as well xxxx thankyou xxx
  • AussieMaddie
    AussieMaddie Member Posts: 345 Member
    #14
    Mum2bellaandwilliam said:

    @Aussie Maddie
    your post was beautiful, it moved me to tears , the way you summarised my post meant so much , it made me realise the post I had written for mum was beautiful as well xxxx thankyou xxx

    xxxx

    xxxx
  • onemore
    onemore Member Posts: 57
    #15
    Dear Mum2bellaandwilliam,
    I
    Dear Mum2bellaandwilliam,

    I am so sorry for your loss as I just lost my dad on December 4, 2011. I feel your pain. I have an empty kind of feeling knowing he is not here anymore. If this helps they are not suffering anymore and are in a better place just not with US! My dad too never complained and fought like a trooper!

    Keep Strong as you know our mom/dad would want us too!

    Onemore
  • SOPHIE333
    SOPHIE333 Member Posts: 92
    #16
    Oh no
    Im back from vinter vacation and I saw your post. As you said, you knew it was coming, but who can be prepared? My heart goes out to you and all your loved ones surronding you and your family. Your mother fought well and thats all we daughters and sons are asking for. I just want you to know that ypu are not alone and who knows what happens after you leave this world. Your mother will still live within and through you.

    All my love,
    Sophie
  • MargieBri
    MargieBri Member Posts: 1
    #17
    My heart aches for you and I
    My heart aches for you and I wish I could say something to make you feel better. My Mam has been disgnosed with Primary Peritoneal Cancer and the doctor said she's too weak to take any chemo, so we're just waiting for the inevitable. This is so horrible to go through and I know one day I will feel just like you. I'm sending a hug for you for whenever you need it most. I will think of you and hope the love she showed you helps you to keep going. X
  • irish mandy
    irish mandy Member Posts: 6
    #18
    how long did your mum fight the disease?
    Hi Liz,
    my name is Mandy and I am very sorry to read of your mum's death recently. Im new to this site. My mum was diagnosed with Peritoneal Cancer at Christmas and had her first round of Chemo last Tuesday, she feels like giving up already! Im just wondering how long your poor mum fought for and what her symptoms were at the beginning and also if you feel the Chemo helped her or hindered her?
    We are all so scared of her future. I too am a mum to 3 children and another on the way in June. I understand if you don't want to go over the details of your lovely mums fight. Take care and God Bless you and your family.
    Mandy.
    P.S. Mum is 66 years old.
  • Lovingmymom
    Lovingmymom Member Posts: 54
    #19
    irish mandy said:

    how long did your mum fight the disease?
    Hi Liz,
    my name is Mandy and I am very sorry to read of your mum's death recently. Im new to this site. My mum was diagnosed with Peritoneal Cancer at Christmas and had her first round of Chemo last Tuesday, she feels like giving up already! Im just wondering how long your poor mum fought for and what her symptoms were at the beginning and also if you feel the Chemo helped her or hindered her?
    We are all so scared of her future. I too am a mum to 3 children and another on the way in June. I understand if you don't want to go over the details of your lovely mums fight. Take care and God Bless you and your family.
    Mandy.
    P.S. Mum is 66 years old.

    In Common
    Mandy,
    Just wanted to reach out to you as my mother (75yoa) was diagnosed with Peritoneal Cancer at Thanksgiving. She is about 1 round of chemo ahead of your mom. This is definitely a long road and I have already found out that there will be many bumps along the way. Attitude is everything on this journey. My mom is a fighter and I know that she will far exceed the "statistics" of this type of cancer. One thing that drives her is her grandchildren. I know your mum will fight as your new and current babies will provide her much inspiration. Stay strong for her - but take care of yourself as well. Come to this board often for inspiration, healing and venting. We all do it!
    Best of Luck
    J-
  • irish mandy
    irish mandy Member Posts: 6
    #20
    Lovingmymom said:

    In Common
    Mandy,
    Just wanted to reach out to you as my mother (75yoa) was diagnosed with Peritoneal Cancer at Thanksgiving. She is about 1 round of chemo ahead of your mom. This is definitely a long road and I have already found out that there will be many bumps along the way. Attitude is everything on this journey. My mom is a fighter and I know that she will far exceed the "statistics" of this type of cancer. One thing that drives her is her grandchildren. I know your mum will fight as your new and current babies will provide her much inspiration. Stay strong for her - but take care of yourself as well. Come to this board often for inspiration, healing and venting. We all do it!
    Best of Luck
    J-

    Thank you J
    Dear J,
    thank you for your reply, I will be following your mums progress. I know attitude is everything, I think my mums a bit depressed over the whole thing. I will be as positive as possible around her, I just want to ask you what is your mums appetite like?

    God Bless,
    Mandy
  • Lovingmymom
    Lovingmymom Member Posts: 54
    #21
    irish mandy said:

    Thank you J
    Dear J,
    thank you for your reply, I will be following your mums progress. I know attitude is everything, I think my mums a bit depressed over the whole thing. I will be as positive as possible around her, I just want to ask you what is your mums appetite like?

    God Bless,
    Mandy

    Appetite
    Mandy,
    My mom's diagnosis came as the result of a routine scan so she was not exhibiting any symptoms. As a result, her appetite has not suffered one bit. She watches what she eats so as to avoid the constipation issues associated with the chemo drugs. Perhaps your mums appetite issues are not only the result of the cancer but also of being a bit depressed. Her Dr's keep asking her if she has any abdominal pain, which thankfully she does not. I pray this is not what we have to look forward to. Mom's next round of chemo is Friday - she seems to tolerate it fairly well but I can already see that as it builds in your system, it wears you down. The goal of her chemo is to keep her where she is right now since she hasn't had any symptoms and again, her appetite is good. My mom has been through a lot in her life so she seems to take a cancer diagnosis as just another test that God has given her. She completely understands the severity of it and is determined to do this on her own terms. She often refers to herself as "The Unsinkable Molly Brown".

    I hope you have good family and friends to lean on and also who can help you out. How is mum tolerating her treatment?
    Let us know and be well,
    J-

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