Do all of you think about a recurrence sometimes to where you get afraid of every little pain you m
It just seems that sometimes if I feel a new ache or pain, I get so worried that my cancer is back and I hate to call my doctor just to have some some test or something to check it out.
Is it just a fear that we will always have to live with? I wonder if with years, it will get better? We will be less fearful?
Thanks, Megan
Comments
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I know Megan,
I too pray for all here. And I am so grateful for each and every day but I too feel "new" aches and pains and wonder what it could be. I feel for most of us, with what we have been through, will always have to fight that "fear" in the back of our minds.
Prayer helps me. My prayer is that I can live as peaceful a life having had cancer. And I have days where I really have to pray...a lot.
Let's hope it gets less fearful.
Hugs,
Sylvia0 -
Don't get me wrong
I try not to worry too much. I have had a difficult life prior to bc. Not that I want to die or anything I also am perfectly at peace with the idea of dying. When I began this process with bc my thoughts were thus. "I either get to beat cancer's a$$, or I get to go meet Jesus early." For me it's a win win.
There is only so much I can do to prevent a recurrence of bc. Prior to bc I had aches and pains and was able to keep those in perspective. I would ask myself, "Is my pain appropriate to what I have been through?" (root canal, extraction, childbearing.....) and let it go.0 -
From a Perspective of 17 years
Hi Megan,
The longer you go without a recurrence the more confident you will be about every ache and pain isn't cancer. I had stopped stressing about mammograms after my 4th. Some women do recur in the other breast or if they had a lumpectomy in the original breast. That would be a local recurrence and your stats remain no different than they were when diagnose. In the years I've been on discussion boards, I have read about only a few women who have recurred in the original breast or the other one.
One does always have the knowledge in the recess of our minds to be aware of those aches & pains. We are far more focus in a manner one wasn't prior to diagnose. Remember 70% of women diagnose with breast cancer never have a recurrence. I wish it was 100% but we aren't there yet.
As the years go by without incident, you will become less fearful.
Best to you on a life without recurrences.
Doris0 -
I agree Doris. ThisSIROD said:From a Perspective of 17 years
Hi Megan,
The longer you go without a recurrence the more confident you will be about every ache and pain isn't cancer. I had stopped stressing about mammograms after my 4th. Some women do recur in the other breast or if they had a lumpectomy in the original breast. That would be a local recurrence and your stats remain no different than they were when diagnose. In the years I've been on discussion boards, I have read about only a few women who have recurred in the original breast or the other one.
One does always have the knowledge in the recess of our minds to be aware of those aches & pains. We are far more focus in a manner one wasn't prior to diagnose. Remember 70% of women diagnose with breast cancer never have a recurrence. I wish it was 100% but we aren't there yet.
As the years go by without incident, you will become less fearful.
Best to you on a life without recurrences.
Doris
I agree Doris. This February I will be 25 years--wow, I know. I don't get as excited by any of it anymore, but the first few years were extremely stress-producing. Testing is still somewhat stressful, but much less so.
As far as the aches and pains, I have learned that some pains are related to cancer and some are not. My advice is to try not to worry about every pain, because many may be age-related and/or activity related. But, and this is an important but, do check out any persistent or severe pain.
When my ribs began to hurt, I went to my physician right away because the pain was so bad and unusual. It turned out to be bone mets, but it took me 4 years to get the correct diagnosis.
When my back was hurting, I blew it off (because doesn't everyone have low back pain?), until it was debilitaing pain. It turned out to be an easily surgically fixable condition that was not cancer!
With time, this will all be easier and you will come to peace with it (as much as you can). And, even if the worst happens (metastasis), remember that many of us are living well with mets. My mets symptoms started in 2005 when the ribs fractured moving boxes after Hurricane Katrina. Try not to lose sight of the fact that your main goal is a happy, active life for as long as you have--whether a year or decades. (((Hugs)))0 -
Thank you for your replies!SIROD said:From a Perspective of 17 years
Hi Megan,
The longer you go without a recurrence the more confident you will be about every ache and pain isn't cancer. I had stopped stressing about mammograms after my 4th. Some women do recur in the other breast or if they had a lumpectomy in the original breast. That would be a local recurrence and your stats remain no different than they were when diagnose. In the years I've been on discussion boards, I have read about only a few women who have recurred in the original breast or the other one.
One does always have the knowledge in the recess of our minds to be aware of those aches & pains. We are far more focus in a manner one wasn't prior to diagnose. Remember 70% of women diagnose with breast cancer never have a recurrence. I wish it was 100% but we aren't there yet.
As the years go by without incident, you will become less fearful.
Best to you on a life without recurrences.
Doris
Thank you for your replies! They were just what I needed! I knew that by posting my question here that I would get exactly what I needed to hear.
You are all so wise and so wonderful! I love you all and I know that you all are right!
I pray that with the years going by, my fear will lesson and I pray for all of you! I just hope that in my life, I see the cure for cancer, so, none of us even have to ponder this question.
Love, Megan0 -
Prayer has helped me toosea60 said:I know Megan,
I too pray for all here. And I am so grateful for each and every day but I too feel "new" aches and pains and wonder what it could be. I feel for most of us, with what we have been through, will always have to fight that "fear" in the back of our minds.
Prayer helps me. My prayer is that I can live as peaceful a life having had cancer. And I have days where I really have to pray...a lot.
Let's hope it gets less fearful.
Hugs,
Sylvia
Prayer has helped me too Sylvia and I also have days where I pray a lot.0 -
Megan: I started all my BC
Megan: I started all my BC in 2008 but I can honestly say I dont' worry about it, dont' bite nails until test results...I know I AM ODD woman out here...I think sometimes I need to ask therapist why!
I totally understand your feelings and think I have something wrong with me...seriously...
I go regularly for all my appts never missed one-promptly when supposed to. I think I feel I am happy I am/ was such a fanatic about testing since mine was caught early.
Denise..
Journals helped me in past..0 -
I'm IBC
so yeah considering that only 1 of 4 that are IBC make it to 5 yrs post DX I think about it. I'm almost 2 1/2 yrs post DX and doing great. In I've had 3 'scares'. I've always been very active in all sorts of things so have had a lot of injuries (thankfully none serious) so I have a lot of 'aches and pains'.
I am never afraid to call my PA when something is bothering me. My rads Dr was the first to "dump" me followed by my surgeon as long as I keep seeing my PA at least every 6 months. My chemo Dr wants to keep seeing me every 6 mths to keep me on Femara. I can always call L. (my PA's RN) and talk to her if I have concerns and she can pass it on to J. (PA). I still have my port as an Insurance policy' in my mind so I'm in the Clinic seeing one of the RN's monthly anyway.0 -
I think no mater how manyMegan M said:Thank you for your replies!
Thank you for your replies! They were just what I needed! I knew that by posting my question here that I would get exactly what I needed to hear.
You are all so wise and so wonderful! I love you all and I know that you all are right!
I pray that with the years going by, my fear will lesson and I pray for all of you! I just hope that in my life, I see the cure for cancer, so, none of us even have to ponder this question.
Love, Megan
I think no mater how many years we are cancer free it's always in the back of our minds but i think it's how we handle that fear that helps us move on.Frankie0 -
Megan
Before the re-diagnosis I would be nervous with the tests, but it wasn't until the year before being diagnosed with mets, about 8 years clean, that the issues started getting to me. my body started making tumors that would come back 'atypical but not yet cancer'.
It was like Cynthia. I got rib pain that I thought was either pneumonia or pleursy, and was told that it was a pulled muscle in ER, then 3 weeks later my lower back was so painful and I knew it was more than a pulled muscle. That is when I called my onco and the mets were discovered.
But since having mets, the issues are different. I know that the outcome will be what it will, but until then, I plan on living as much as my body will allow. Sometimes it is easier than other times, but overall it is all about hanging in long enough to see this disease go from terminal to a chronic condition and if it means being on chemo forever than than that is what I will do, and enjoying life every day.
It does get better and when there was a recurrence, I surely knew the difference!
Good luck with all of it, but it really does get better.
Carol0 -
Megan, I am sorry that youSIROD said:From a Perspective of 17 years
Hi Megan,
The longer you go without a recurrence the more confident you will be about every ache and pain isn't cancer. I had stopped stressing about mammograms after my 4th. Some women do recur in the other breast or if they had a lumpectomy in the original breast. That would be a local recurrence and your stats remain no different than they were when diagnose. In the years I've been on discussion boards, I have read about only a few women who have recurred in the original breast or the other one.
One does always have the knowledge in the recess of our minds to be aware of those aches & pains. We are far more focus in a manner one wasn't prior to diagnose. Remember 70% of women diagnose with breast cancer never have a recurrence. I wish it was 100% but we aren't there yet.
As the years go by without incident, you will become less fearful.
Best to you on a life without recurrences.
Doris
Megan, I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I know it is easy to go that dark place when we feel a new lump or have a new pain, and, you should always let your doctor know about anything new, especially a lump.
But, you also have to focus on living your life and in living a life beyond bc. I know when I had some back pain, my mind thought, oh here we go again and I told my oncologist. He ordered a CT scan and a bone scan and they came back clean for cancer. They just showed some arthritis starting, so, I was given meds for it.
I do think that with time, years going by, the apprehension will lesson, or, I hope it does.
Good luck Megan,
Lex0 -
Hi Megan,camul said:Megan
Before the re-diagnosis I would be nervous with the tests, but it wasn't until the year before being diagnosed with mets, about 8 years clean, that the issues started getting to me. my body started making tumors that would come back 'atypical but not yet cancer'.
It was like Cynthia. I got rib pain that I thought was either pneumonia or pleursy, and was told that it was a pulled muscle in ER, then 3 weeks later my lower back was so painful and I knew it was more than a pulled muscle. That is when I called my onco and the mets were discovered.
But since having mets, the issues are different. I know that the outcome will be what it will, but until then, I plan on living as much as my body will allow. Sometimes it is easier than other times, but overall it is all about hanging in long enough to see this disease go from terminal to a chronic condition and if it means being on chemo forever than than that is what I will do, and enjoying life every day.
It does get better and when there was a recurrence, I surely knew the difference!
Good luck with all of it, but it really does get better.
Carol
I also still have these fears. I'm 2 years and I just wanted to recommend the book After Breast Cancer by Hester Hill Schnipper.
It covers all the questions that we have in such detail that I use it often to go back and read something I may have forgotten.
One of the things she mentions is the "two week rule". SImply stated (by me, not her, she is much more eloquent) is if a pain is lasting more than 2 weeks then check it out by your doctor. Sometimes if we give it that amount of time we realize that it goes away if indeed it wasn't anything more serious.
If I may, I'd like to send a short paragraph from the book. I sure hope I don't get in trouble for stealing, but I am putting it in quotes
"it will be a different you,however. In the beginning, you probably were impatient to "get your life back" and did not realize that your previous life was lost to you forever. Although you can experience even more-intense joy and delight than ever before, you will never again be carefree. There is a bittersweet quality to all important markers and events. I remember being asked during a support-group meeting, "What are we supposed to celebrate now?" The only answer is "Everything."
How you celebrate is up to you, but celebrate you must."0 -
I think about itLighthouse_7 said:Hi Megan,
I also still have these fears. I'm 2 years and I just wanted to recommend the book After Breast Cancer by Hester Hill Schnipper.
It covers all the questions that we have in such detail that I use it often to go back and read something I may have forgotten.
One of the things she mentions is the "two week rule". SImply stated (by me, not her, she is much more eloquent) is if a pain is lasting more than 2 weeks then check it out by your doctor. Sometimes if we give it that amount of time we realize that it goes away if indeed it wasn't anything more serious.
If I may, I'd like to send a short paragraph from the book. I sure hope I don't get in trouble for stealing, but I am putting it in quotes
"it will be a different you,however. In the beginning, you probably were impatient to "get your life back" and did not realize that your previous life was lost to you forever. Although you can experience even more-intense joy and delight than ever before, you will never again be carefree. There is a bittersweet quality to all important markers and events. I remember being asked during a support-group meeting, "What are we supposed to celebrate now?" The only answer is "Everything."
How you celebrate is up to you, but celebrate you must."
Having IBC & only being out of chemo less than 9 months I think about a recurrence all of the time. I think about dying at least four times a day. I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to anytime soon.I know with IBC the prognosis is grim but I also know that I'm not a statistic & no two people are the same.I'm trying to take each day at a time & not mention my feelings to anyone because I don't want people to think I'm nuts & I don't want to worry anyone. I talked with my onc about this a couple of weeks ago though.
Hugs,
Dawne0 -
Good topic!
I was always afraid of every symptom before I was dx at 32. I always felt - in my heart - I had something serious. So now it's no difference. After my dx, whenever I feel pain, or see something "new" on my body, right away I question it - "is it the beast?!!?!?". My worst fear is not being able to catch it "in time". It feels like a race. I too get scared to call my Dr., but its best to do so. If you feel you have a symptom, that doesn't go away, you pick up that phone and call. It's always best to know than not to. Plus it's usually nothing, which in return would give us peace of mind.
This entire journey is so difficult, but it helped that I was always paranoid. So it isn't really new to me.
I am grateful to have this community where sisters share their experiences. I now have a different outlook on things, knowing so many live their lives no matter what. It gives me hope and it's encouraging.0 -
:-/
I come from a family that has had a lot of recurrences (Mom & Sister) it is something I always think of when something does not seem quite right. I consider that wariness to be a built in self preservation warning system of sorts. I do not think of it daily only when something seems off kilter. My insistence that something was amiss is how my third bc was found. I knew my body was fighting something and I just kept nagging my doctors until they ran a battery of tests and finally found it in my good breast (I know not so good if it was attacking me). Because of my insistence it was found in an early stage and treatment was a bit more gentle then it had been in my previous cancer battles.
It has been 13 years form my first dx, 12 from my second and in March it will be 5 years from my third dx. I do not think I am any less aware or concerned that any pain has the potential to be cancer but I think that this quirk has kept me in the game of life so to speak. I do not ever want to take any physical oddity as no big deal for fear it can result in my demise.
RE0 -
Forgetting
Hi Megan,
I had a recurrance and now have bone mets. I have to say there was a time about 1 year out of my first go round that I did forget and not worry about every ache and pain. Don't forget you will be seeing your onc every three months for the first year or two so if you have any concerns bring them up then, unless something is constant and you notice a change yourself. I call it living with cancer as I am stage IV, have been for three years now. Try not to dwell on every ache and pain, recurrance does not happen to everyone. Positivity goes a long way.
Terry0 -
Pains
I wanted to share with you advice I was given by my cancer pain specialist since I suffered greatly and on much medication trying to stop pain. I didn't want to waste drs. time and she said I wasn't. It is important to have quality to our lives no matter what.
She told me to let pains linger for no more than a month and if they are still a problem then she advised me to get them looked at. We owe it to ourselves to listen to our bodies something me might well have done all along instead of being the greatest Mothers, Daughters and Friends let alone wives.
It is harder to find lumps that no one seems to care about but me but I too have come to terms with that and doesn't stop me from checking the areas that are bothering me.
Everyday most humans I have decided face their fears and live our lives everyday this is truly no different.
Been gone a long time from the board and miss the soul feeling I get when I read the posts.
It does get better
Tara0 -
I try not to worry, Meganaysemari said:It DOES get better
Megan,
it's like you took a big fall and at first, you are a little
shaky on your feet but you will walk again, with confidence,
it just takes time.
Let the healing begin!!
Hugs,
Ayse
but we're only human. My onc. has a 2-week rule. If something is bothering you, hurting, etc. and it's not debilitating, give it 2 weeks. If it goes away--great--just another one of those aches or pains. But, if it doesn't--come in--which as you know I'm going through right now.
For me, at least, life has forever changed. Some for the bad, some for the good. I'm much more patient, try to keep things in perspective more and not sweat the small stuff so much. But--the other side of the coin--I've had breast cancer, there is no cure, it could re-surface at any time. Some days I can totally stay in the moment and enjoy life. Other days, doubts and fear creep in. That's just how it is. But I try to keep it in check, feel my feelings and then move on.
I hope you have a blessed day today!
Hugs, Renee0 -
IBC - yes it is 'only' oneTexasgirl10 said:I think about it
Having IBC & only being out of chemo less than 9 months I think about a recurrence all of the time. I think about dying at least four times a day. I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to anytime soon.I know with IBC the prognosis is grim but I also know that I'm not a statistic & no two people are the same.I'm trying to take each day at a time & not mention my feelings to anyone because I don't want people to think I'm nuts & I don't want to worry anyone. I talked with my onc about this a couple of weeks ago though.
Hugs,
Dawne
IBC - yes it is 'only' one form of BC that only between 1% and 5 % deal with. Many don't realize that only 1 out of 4 of us make it for the '5 years while 87 out of 100 of all BC combined will make it to the "majik" 5 years,
I know the stats/probalitities but they don't apply to me or you. We are either 0% or 100%. 25% or 75% of our bodies can not get reoccurance/mets - it either happens or it doesn't. There is one thing that is a certainity - no one will leave 'here' alive no matter what.
All BC are monsters but there are times I want to scream "All BC is not the same!" It seems so often that many do not realize that IBC is in a 'class' of it's own .
OK I'll get off my soap box.
Susan0
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