USPC - Mass Found in Supraclavlcular Area - CT Scan Reads Like Death Sentence

Hello Every. As most of you know, I'm rarely on here unless I need something. I wish I had the time to read and respond to every post, because I get so much information, encouragement and comfort from reading all the posts.

I have been NED from USPC since Jan, 2011 and have felt really good, except some cramps like I used to feel before my hysterectomy (dr says that it is normal?) Had a full body CT scan in July and everything was clear. But, in early Dec, I went to my family doctor because of pain in my left neck, ear, headache, pain in left arm & it looked like my vein was popping out of my neck. Frankly, I thought it was stress because of my work schedule, concert schedule, daughter due with 5th baby & I promised I'd be there to help with the kids, etc. Actually thought I popped a vein by singing so much. I slept great, but the minute I would wake up & think of all the stuff I had to do, my pain would start again. My doctor could see the swelling and feel the swelling so she sent me for an ultrasound. It was clear. She gave me muscle relaxers, pain killers & a steroid shot. I felt pretty good for about 2 weeks. The 2nd week of Dec. I decided to go to my oncologist, who said it doesn't sound like any recurrence of USPC he's ever dealt with before, but to come in. He also felt the swelling, but couldn't determine specifically what he was dealing with so he sent me for a Head/Neck, Lung CT scan immediately that same day (He wanted to know if anything was lurking around in there).

Well the results came back and there was a lot lurking around in there. Reading the results, scared me to death and I'm going crazy as we 'wait' to see what is going on (Christmas & New Years Holidays seem to put everything on hold). I have a 3.5 x 4 cm mass in my left supraclavicular, highly suspicious for metastisis. I have new lung nodules, 1 cm, .5 cm & several smaller in size & a brain nodular 1 cm., all likely metastic.
I had a needle biopsy on the mass and it came back negative (That's great, isn't it?). But I go Friday for out-patient surgury so they can cut out a piece of the mass for another biobsy. As far as the other nodules, my oncologist won't determine treatment until he knows what's going on in that mass. I guess that's a good strategy, right? He also made a comment that USPC does not normally mastasticise to the brain, so he's not sure it's from my original cancer.

So my questions are, if it is USPC, how fast does this stuff spread? Is there a pattern that it normally follows? How do they determine if small nodules in the lungs and brain are cancerous? Do all these places respond successfully to treatment? Is it even curable? How do they determine progress - Scan after Scan, after Scan? Shouldn't there be some sort of urgency to get this diagnosed and treated? At what point should I seek a 2nd opinion? I've always been so trusting of my doctors, but this seems to be dragging on.