Mum not good

stella65
stella65 Member Posts: 152
in Peritoneal Cancer #1
Hi everyone, I have been putting off updating as I have not really known where to start.

Mum is now in a hospice, she has been there just over a week, she went in for pain control ( they have always said the pain was not the cancer) and we all thought she would be out by now, she has to have constant anti sickness otherwise she will throw up, We saw the doc yesterday who told us that he can feel mum has fluid ( which we knew as her tummy is swollen) he also said he can feel considerable growth in just a week! He has said there is nothing they can do for her except keep her comfortable, as you can imagine we are numbed by this news, we have always been told she would be offered more chemo when she presented symptoms, now she is they say she is too ill for it! Just feel so confused, angry and upset
SueX

Comments

  • AussieMaddie
    AussieMaddie Member Posts: 345 Member
    #2
    Sending love ((( )))
    Holding your mother in my heart.

    AussieMaddie
  • SOPHIE333
    SOPHIE333 Member Posts: 92
    #3
    Oh no
    Dear Sue, I feel for you and my heart goes out to you as I will soon be in the same position with my mum. I hope you still got time to be with her, to comfort and feeling close to each other. I hope that I make the most of the time I got left with my mother, it is so hard to be by the side and feeling that even though you done all in your power, you can not turn back time. Please keep in touch with us and let me know if I can be of any *cyberspace* support to you.

    Love,
    Sophie
  • stella65
    stella65 Member Posts: 152
    #4
    SOPHIE333 said:

    Oh no
    Dear Sue, I feel for you and my heart goes out to you as I will soon be in the same position with my mum. I hope you still got time to be with her, to comfort and feeling close to each other. I hope that I make the most of the time I got left with my mother, it is so hard to be by the side and feeling that even though you done all in your power, you can not turn back time. Please keep in touch with us and let me know if I can be of any *cyberspace* support to you.

    Love,
    Sophie

    update
    Thank you Maddie and SophieX

    Well I am posting this for mum 2 bella and william as much as anyone, I do not want false hope for us or anyone else but I urge you to get a second opinion. When this doc said on monday that mums tumours had grown and he could feel them all over her tummy and pelvis I couldn't believe it, I said to my sister that I wanted to contact mums onc from the hospital, anyway, yesterday a different doc at the hospice came round to see mum and said she wanted to speak to mums onc, so she rang her, had a chat and they are sending mum for another CT scan ( just hope shes up to it) Yesterday mum was feeling a lot better she has good and bad days at the moment but they seem to have finally got her anti sickness meds about right and the pain control, it could end up that the doc on monday was right but we need to be sure and then maybe we will have time to build mum up to have some more chemo, please everyone send some thoughts for mum and infact lets take time to send thoughts to everyone fighting this battle especially at christmas it seems to make it even harder. We are probably having xmas lunch at the hospice, they are wonderful people and they will look after us, we are so lucky to have them near

    Love to all

    SueX
  • LaundryQueen
    LaundryQueen Member Posts: 676
    #5
    stella65 said:

    update
    Thank you Maddie and SophieX

    Well I am posting this for mum 2 bella and william as much as anyone, I do not want false hope for us or anyone else but I urge you to get a second opinion. When this doc said on monday that mums tumours had grown and he could feel them all over her tummy and pelvis I couldn't believe it, I said to my sister that I wanted to contact mums onc from the hospital, anyway, yesterday a different doc at the hospice came round to see mum and said she wanted to speak to mums onc, so she rang her, had a chat and they are sending mum for another CT scan ( just hope shes up to it) Yesterday mum was feeling a lot better she has good and bad days at the moment but they seem to have finally got her anti sickness meds about right and the pain control, it could end up that the doc on monday was right but we need to be sure and then maybe we will have time to build mum up to have some more chemo, please everyone send some thoughts for mum and infact lets take time to send thoughts to everyone fighting this battle especially at christmas it seems to make it even harder. We are probably having xmas lunch at the hospice, they are wonderful people and they will look after us, we are so lucky to have them near

    Love to all

    SueX

    Will send healing thoughts to your mum
    It seems like the treatment of cancer is as much an art as it is a science. There are so many different drugs out there to try, it seems only fair to give your mum something that might stabilize her disease.
  • AussieMaddie
    AussieMaddie Member Posts: 345 Member
    #6
    stella65 said:

    update
    Thank you Maddie and SophieX

    Well I am posting this for mum 2 bella and william as much as anyone, I do not want false hope for us or anyone else but I urge you to get a second opinion. When this doc said on monday that mums tumours had grown and he could feel them all over her tummy and pelvis I couldn't believe it, I said to my sister that I wanted to contact mums onc from the hospital, anyway, yesterday a different doc at the hospice came round to see mum and said she wanted to speak to mums onc, so she rang her, had a chat and they are sending mum for another CT scan ( just hope shes up to it) Yesterday mum was feeling a lot better she has good and bad days at the moment but they seem to have finally got her anti sickness meds about right and the pain control, it could end up that the doc on monday was right but we need to be sure and then maybe we will have time to build mum up to have some more chemo, please everyone send some thoughts for mum and infact lets take time to send thoughts to everyone fighting this battle especially at christmas it seems to make it even harder. We are probably having xmas lunch at the hospice, they are wonderful people and they will look after us, we are so lucky to have them near

    Love to all

    SueX

    xxxxxxxx
    Fingers crossed,
    xxxxxxxx
    Fingers crossed, hearts holding her close, with lots of wishes for them to find that she is *not* so bad as they first thought. Getting that second opinion was a brilliant idea.

    Love,

    AussieMaddie
  • lulu1010
    lulu1010 Member Posts: 367
    #7
    AussieMaddie said:

    xxxxxxxx
    Fingers crossed,
    xxxxxxxx
    Fingers crossed, hearts holding her close, with lots of wishes for them to find that she is *not* so bad as they first thought. Getting that second opinion was a brilliant idea.

    Love,

    AussieMaddie

    So sorry
    So sorry to hear this. I pray for strengh and comfort,and peace for all of you.
  • stella65
    stella65 Member Posts: 152
    #8
    lulu1010 said:

    So sorry
    So sorry to hear this. I pray for strengh and comfort,and peace for all of you.

    Update
    Thought I would update on mum..... Mum managed to get to hospital for her CT scan, it was tough going as she kept being sick! That afternoon mum rang dad and asked us all ( dad, me and my sister and husbands)to go in to the hospice, we all thought she had already spoken to the doc and needed us there, we were beside ourselves.... we got there to find she hadn't seen the doc yet and knew nothing!! We let the doc know we were there and he came to speak to us all, mums scan showed no significant change from last time, they have managed to control the pain and the sickness is being controlled fairly well, she is having blood thinning drugs in her tummy for the clots but the good news is she is gaining strength and has been home for a few hours, today she came here to us for lunch. The next step is to go to hospital probably on tuesday to see her onc and be assesed, I am hoping that they will offer more chemo but it depends if she is up to it really, she will then probably go back to the hospice for a while or home if we can cope with her meds, there will of course be a district nurse for injections! So we plod on taking it a day at a time, mum is getting a bit stressed about next week but thats understandable, I'm trying not to think about it until then

    SueX
  • lulu1010
    lulu1010 Member Posts: 367
    #9
    stella65 said:

    Update
    Thought I would update on mum..... Mum managed to get to hospital for her CT scan, it was tough going as she kept being sick! That afternoon mum rang dad and asked us all ( dad, me and my sister and husbands)to go in to the hospice, we all thought she had already spoken to the doc and needed us there, we were beside ourselves.... we got there to find she hadn't seen the doc yet and knew nothing!! We let the doc know we were there and he came to speak to us all, mums scan showed no significant change from last time, they have managed to control the pain and the sickness is being controlled fairly well, she is having blood thinning drugs in her tummy for the clots but the good news is she is gaining strength and has been home for a few hours, today she came here to us for lunch. The next step is to go to hospital probably on tuesday to see her onc and be assesed, I am hoping that they will offer more chemo but it depends if she is up to it really, she will then probably go back to the hospice for a while or home if we can cope with her meds, there will of course be a district nurse for injections! So we plod on taking it a day at a time, mum is getting a bit stressed about next week but thats understandable, I'm trying not to think about it until then

    SueX

    Sounds very encouraging
    I pray that they are able to give the chemo and it turns this situation around. I do hope her pain is in better control. It sounds like it. How nice for her to get to do some trial trips home to make sure all goes well.
    Best wishes! Keep us postd!
  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
    #10
    lulu1010 said:

    Sounds very encouraging
    I pray that they are able to give the chemo and it turns this situation around. I do hope her pain is in better control. It sounds like it. How nice for her to get to do some trial trips home to make sure all goes well.
    Best wishes! Keep us postd!

    Hi stella
    I am glad your mum is feeling a bit better. I will pray for you that she gets fit enough for more chemo.this disease creates such despair for the family members who effectively have to sit back and watch as it ravages their loved ones body.
    It makes me sooooooo angry . I felt so helpless so many times in our journey.
    Welldone for getting that second opinion, we certainly would have done , thanks for your post for me and mum.
    I am still in shock , it has not sunk in yet, I am grateful it was not a slow painful death , but on the other hand after everything mum has been through I think she deserved a bit longer! Gggrrrrrrrrrr. To die of pneumonia seems like such a fraud, does that sound odd?
    Well she is in a better place now free from cancer and all the interventions and drugs that go with this blasted disease , I take comfort from that.

    Liz xxx
  • stella65
    stella65 Member Posts: 152
    #11
    Mum2bellaandwilliam said:

    Hi stella
    I am glad your mum is feeling a bit better. I will pray for you that she gets fit enough for more chemo.this disease creates such despair for the family members who effectively have to sit back and watch as it ravages their loved ones body.
    It makes me sooooooo angry . I felt so helpless so many times in our journey.
    Welldone for getting that second opinion, we certainly would have done , thanks for your post for me and mum.
    I am still in shock , it has not sunk in yet, I am grateful it was not a slow painful death , but on the other hand after everything mum has been through I think she deserved a bit longer! Gggrrrrrrrrrr. To die of pneumonia seems like such a fraud, does that sound odd?
    Well she is in a better place now free from cancer and all the interventions and drugs that go with this blasted disease , I take comfort from that.

    Liz xxx

    Liz
    How nice to see you post sweetheart, mum is going to hospital tues or wed for a decision on treatment, they will keep her room in the hospice for 2 days, I really hope she is in the hospital just for a day, I totally get where you are coming from about the disease, the pain and suffering and the comfort that you have from knowing that your mum went quickly, as you say, you wanted more time for her, of course you did, I have it to come and I am dreading it, I have been thinking of you

    Much love, Sue

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