Emotional time of year to begin with

flatlander
flatlander Member Posts: 46
edited December 2011 in Kidney Cancer #1
So I am used to being strong and helping people do things when they are in a crisis. I have been protector, mechanic, care giver and counselor. Now i just Got a phone call that word is out I have cancer. All of the sudden I have people going to collect toys for my kids and someone is going to put a new alternator in my wifes car. They say my back pain / now sciatic pain is not related to the tumor in my left kidney, so I fear its mets. Monday i have another MRI to rule out tumor on nerve or in spine even though MD doubts it. All i know is i CANT put on my shoes and bend over to tie them. I am seeing Many stories of people whos back pain vaniished with kidney removal. Other Stories where it led to mets discovery . So as I freak out people are dropping off christmas decor and offering us gas cards etc. I am grateful but its all a mind Bomb. New dream house in country gonna make a small farm for the kids and then this.... Very Hallmark Movie
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Comments

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    #2
    Normal to be scared
    Dear Flatlander,

    It is very normal to be scared when we are told that we have Kidney Cancer. I sure was when I was told 9 and 1/2 years ago. And then to be told that you have to have surgery right out of the gate. Not fun. Most of us get thru this without any evidence of it speading. Back pain can be kidney cancer or a 1000 other things. I had the back pain and it stopped after the surgery. I have never heard of back pain being evidence of mets. Hopefully the follow up tests will connfirm that it has not spread and the surgery will take care of the rest.

    Best wishes,


    Icemantoo
  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #3
    Welcome to the club...
    flatlander,

    The circumstances that bring each of us here vary greatly, but the theme, RCC, is always the same. From personal experience we understand the range of emotions you are going through and can assure you that this is normal and part of the process. You are welcome here for any reason, even if you just need a place to vent to an understanding ear. If you would be comfortable sharing a few details about your situation ie; tumor size, other possible symptoms you may have had, how it was discovered, expected type of procedure, etc. we may be able to provide some insight and experience to help ease you along the path, but its okay if you don't, we're here if you need us.

    Good luck and God speed,

    Gary
  • flatlander
    flatlander Member Posts: 46
    #4
    garym said:

    Welcome to the club...
    flatlander,

    The circumstances that bring each of us here vary greatly, but the theme, RCC, is always the same. From personal experience we understand the range of emotions you are going through and can assure you that this is normal and part of the process. You are welcome here for any reason, even if you just need a place to vent to an understanding ear. If you would be comfortable sharing a few details about your situation ie; tumor size, other possible symptoms you may have had, how it was discovered, expected type of procedure, etc. we may be able to provide some insight and experience to help ease you along the path, but its okay if you don't, we're here if you need us.

    Good luck and God speed,

    Gary

    Thanks for normalizing my
    Thanks for normalizing my emotional ups and downs. I had a visitor today from a brother I never met and learned my wifes car is an easy fix, likely just battery. I told wife I can handle it, she said no you can't! I guess it kind of hit me then that I could, but I'm too damn tired.to.fight her about it and go get a new one and put it in. I've been falling asleep and waking in puddles of swet, more than the.normal tired.father of three little ones.

    Anyways this summer we sold our house in the city at great expense and moved to the.hills on a lake to start a life of raising more.of.our.own food.etc. when we.arrived my back hurt. As a slightly.fat firefighter who lifts fatter people in and out of ambulances daily I figured it was a disc or muscle problem. My doctor.said.probably.a.disc let.me.know if.you.want MRI.etc. I said.I'd try a.couple.weeks of anti inflamitory pills OTC. So two months of that.and Lots of rum and cokes to sleep better and it still hurt. Then my wife spotted.a.lump on my belly. She says.call MD. I did and ultrasound.proved it.was.harmless.lipoma. however as MD.ordered.test of belly too, they spotted problem on left kidney. Allergic .to cat scan.dye a MRI showed it tobe 3.7cm tumor in middle lobe.

    First.guy said full nephrectomy on.Jan 12.... It was before.thanksgiving. next.guy last week said, partial and December 20 if I didn't.want.to.wait. he said.they.mostly.go.slow.and.could.probably wait. I said Yes.but.if.you r wrong and statistically.this.is.a.1% fast grower.I die.... We took the December.20 spot and.I hope to escape for.christmas eve.night.at.home.

    At the same time I.am doing this a brother from my same department has a belly cancer gone mets to the.lungs. so when I came across study from med journal saying sciatica linked to rcc find on occasion I get worried. Thankfully I also found many people who's back issued went away with kidney
  • flatlander
    flatlander Member Posts: 46
    #5
    garym said:

    Welcome to the club...
    flatlander,

    The circumstances that bring each of us here vary greatly, but the theme, RCC, is always the same. From personal experience we understand the range of emotions you are going through and can assure you that this is normal and part of the process. You are welcome here for any reason, even if you just need a place to vent to an understanding ear. If you would be comfortable sharing a few details about your situation ie; tumor size, other possible symptoms you may have had, how it was discovered, expected type of procedure, etc. we may be able to provide some insight and experience to help ease you along the path, but its okay if you don't, we're here if you need us.

    Good luck and God speed,

    Gary

    Thanks
    Oops
  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    #6
    flatlander said:

    Thanks
    Oops

    You will be fine
    Flatlander,

    One of the facts that kept me from being more optomistic that you in fact did not have mets is you gave us no indication as to the size of your tumor. At 3.7 cm it is considered very small and the 5 and 10 year survival rates quoted are 90% or better, but more realistically close to 100%. There are 2 chances a tumor of that size has mets. Slim and none. Mine was 2.6cm on the CT and 4.2 cm after the surgery when they biopsied it. The size of a tumor on a ct scan is not exact as it is a 3 dimensional view. Get back to us after the surgery. It will not be fun, but it beats the alternative.

    Best wishes,


    Icemantoo
  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #7
    icemantoo said:

    You will be fine
    Flatlander,

    One of the facts that kept me from being more optomistic that you in fact did not have mets is you gave us no indication as to the size of your tumor. At 3.7 cm it is considered very small and the 5 and 10 year survival rates quoted are 90% or better, but more realistically close to 100%. There are 2 chances a tumor of that size has mets. Slim and none. Mine was 2.6cm on the CT and 4.2 cm after the surgery when they biopsied it. The size of a tumor on a ct scan is not exact as it is a 3 dimensional view. Get back to us after the surgery. It will not be fun, but it beats the alternative.

    Best wishes,


    Icemantoo

    Flatlander
    ...besides, even if the doc says"partial" nephrectomy, he won't hesitate to remove the whole thing if he needs to. I like the early surgical date option.
  • love4life
    love4life Member Posts: 40
    #8
    Just out of curiosity - are
    Just out of curiosity - are you have a laproscopic surgery done to remove the partial kidney? My mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer 2 years ago and they did a radical nephrectomy and were able to do it laproscopically. If you are going with lap surgery you should be able to be home for Christmas Eve I would think. I've been through kidney cancer with my mom, testicular cancer with my husband, and a quadrupal bypass with my dad. I understand being nervous but believe me when I say if you are comfortable with your doctor it makes a huge difference. One last comment, you said you are strong and use to helping not being given help. Let those that can offer help to you help. You will be able to pay it forward again some day and it will give the people around you the chance to show you how much they care and appreciate you.
  • flatlander
    flatlander Member Posts: 46
    #9
    love4life said:

    Just out of curiosity - are
    Just out of curiosity - are you have a laproscopic surgery done to remove the partial kidney? My mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer 2 years ago and they did a radical nephrectomy and were able to do it laproscopically. If you are going with lap surgery you should be able to be home for Christmas Eve I would think. I've been through kidney cancer with my mom, testicular cancer with my husband, and a quadrupal bypass with my dad. I understand being nervous but believe me when I say if you are comfortable with your doctor it makes a huge difference. One last comment, you said you are strong and use to helping not being given help. Let those that can offer help to you help. You will be able to pay it forward again some day and it will give the people around you the chance to show you how much they care and appreciate you.

    happy Happy Joy Joy i have bulging discs!
    Very happy phone call from my surgeon that said what many had told me. My walking bent over with pain in my back, butt and leg all on the kidney cancer side was a whole other problem. One that can't kill me. I have a couple bulged discs pushing on a nerve. If not for that I may not have found tumor till it was way further along. CAN I GET AN AMEN Y'All!
  • flatlander
    flatlander Member Posts: 46
    #10
    love4life said:

    Just out of curiosity - are
    Just out of curiosity - are you have a laproscopic surgery done to remove the partial kidney? My mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer 2 years ago and they did a radical nephrectomy and were able to do it laproscopically. If you are going with lap surgery you should be able to be home for Christmas Eve I would think. I've been through kidney cancer with my mom, testicular cancer with my husband, and a quadrupal bypass with my dad. I understand being nervous but believe me when I say if you are comfortable with your doctor it makes a huge difference. One last comment, you said you are strong and use to helping not being given help. Let those that can offer help to you help. You will be able to pay it forward again some day and it will give the people around you the chance to show you how much they care and appreciate you.

    partial but not laproscopic
    MD wants to do full cut and old school partial as tumor is in middle of kidney. He says that way he can pack me full of ice and take his time. Other MD wanted full removal, laproscopicaly but couldn't do it soon enough for us. This one said Yes, it will mean more healing time, but it is worth trying to save.
  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #11
    flatlander said:

    partial but not laproscopic
    MD wants to do full cut and old school partial as tumor is in middle of kidney. He says that way he can pack me full of ice and take his time. Other MD wanted full removal, laproscopicaly but couldn't do it soon enough for us. This one said Yes, it will mean more healing time, but it is worth trying to save.

    Tomorrow...
    flatlander,

    I just wanted to wish you well before your big day and add a little reassurance that you will be fine. The next couple weeks will be a bit rough, its the small price we pay for the cure. Let those you love and support carry you for a short time, you will be the strong one again very soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    God speed,

    Gary
  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #12
    garym said:

    Tomorrow...
    flatlander,

    I just wanted to wish you well before your big day and add a little reassurance that you will be fine. The next couple weeks will be a bit rough, its the small price we pay for the cure. Let those you love and support carry you for a short time, you will be the strong one again very soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    God speed,

    Gary

    Tomorrow
    More good luck wishes for tomorrow, this time from Europe! I had 8cm. tumour and right kidney out 2 weeks ago today, with a switch from lap. to open, and am now feeling pretty good.

    You're right about being lucky. Similarly for me - saw my doc. for first time since op. and he said "We were very lucky." Because I was 69 and never unwell he had originally guessed the haematuria was from an infection but the cytology turned out clear. As he's just said, if a slight infection had been found we might have just treated that and been none the wiser about the tumour which would have progressed undetected for who knows how long. As it is it was found by good luck and with a bit more luck the future is not too bleak.

    As garym has said, let your loved ones take care of you for a bit and in no time at all you will be the strong one again and enjoying your new dream home in the country.
  • garym
    garym Member Posts: 1,647
    #13
    flatlander said:

    happy Happy Joy Joy i have bulging discs!
    Very happy phone call from my surgeon that said what many had told me. My walking bent over with pain in my back, butt and leg all on the kidney cancer side was a whole other problem. One that can't kill me. I have a couple bulged discs pushing on a nerve. If not for that I may not have found tumor till it was way further along. CAN I GET AN AMEN Y'All!

    AMEN!!!
    flatlander,

    Congrats on the news about your back, I had suspicious spots on my spine at diagnosis that proved to be stenosis so I know how you feel.

    Let the healing begin,

    Gary
  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #14
    Texas_wedge said:

    Tomorrow
    More good luck wishes for tomorrow, this time from Europe! I had 8cm. tumour and right kidney out 2 weeks ago today, with a switch from lap. to open, and am now feeling pretty good.

    You're right about being lucky. Similarly for me - saw my doc. for first time since op. and he said "We were very lucky." Because I was 69 and never unwell he had originally guessed the haematuria was from an infection but the cytology turned out clear. As he's just said, if a slight infection had been found we might have just treated that and been none the wiser about the tumour which would have progressed undetected for who knows how long. As it is it was found by good luck and with a bit more luck the future is not too bleak.

    As garym has said, let your loved ones take care of you for a bit and in no time at all you will be the strong one again and enjoying your new dream home in the country.

    Operation
    Flatlander, we're all hoping that the op. went to plan and to hear some good news from you. Enjoy your Christmas, and I hope you're able to spend it in the midst of your family.
  • Sm4pack
    Sm4pack Member Posts: 40
    #15
    Hoping things went well
    Hi buddy-
    I just joined the club today and can relate to everything you've said in your posts. I too have kids, ages 8 and 11. I have a CT on my lungs on teh 27th and am very nervous. i really want everything to be contained in the kidney. I have an open surgery scheduled on 1/9. Very interested to see how things when with you as I'll be following in your shoes. I'm praying that all is good and that you are able to get home by the 25th.
  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #16
    Sm4pack said:

    Hoping things went well
    Hi buddy-
    I just joined the club today and can relate to everything you've said in your posts. I too have kids, ages 8 and 11. I have a CT on my lungs on teh 27th and am very nervous. i really want everything to be contained in the kidney. I have an open surgery scheduled on 1/9. Very interested to see how things when with you as I'll be following in your shoes. I'm praying that all is good and that you are able to get home by the 25th.

    Flatlander
    It would be good to hear how things went. I hope 2012 is a happier year for the Flatlander Family. Best wishes,

    T.
  • flatlander
    flatlander Member Posts: 46
    #17
    Sm4pack said:

    Hoping things went well
    Hi buddy-
    I just joined the club today and can relate to everything you've said in your posts. I too have kids, ages 8 and 11. I have a CT on my lungs on teh 27th and am very nervous. i really want everything to be contained in the kidney. I have an open surgery scheduled on 1/9. Very interested to see how things when with you as I'll be following in your shoes. I'm praying that all is good and that you are able to get home by the 25th.

    Sm4pack mine was about your
    Sm4pack mine was about your size too. .3.7cm my lung scan and back scan were clear. You and I will be here for our Kids. No fear. Okay maybe a little fear but its a waste of time. God Bless
  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #18
    flatlander said:

    Sm4pack mine was about your
    Sm4pack mine was about your size too. .3.7cm my lung scan and back scan were clear. You and I will be here for our Kids. No fear. Okay maybe a little fear but its a waste of time. God Bless

    Oh brother - what a story!
    How lucky your Wife is a nurse, how lucky you are a fighter, how lucky you are to have such brothers. I bet everyone is as proud of you as you are of them!!

    Now you can really enjoy that dream home in the country and treasure it all the more. Let us know if the back pains disappear now. With a little more luck you're through your ordeal and into clear water.

    Can't wait to tell your story to a firefighter friend of mine (in Scotland) - he'll be proud of you too but I don't think he'll be altogether surprised about your brothers since I think you're the same breed of men everywhere.

    Have a great 2012.
  • rae_rae
    rae_rae Member Posts: 300 Member
    #19
    Texas_wedge said:

    Oh brother - what a story!
    How lucky your Wife is a nurse, how lucky you are a fighter, how lucky you are to have such brothers. I bet everyone is as proud of you as you are of them!!

    Now you can really enjoy that dream home in the country and treasure it all the more. Let us know if the back pains disappear now. With a little more luck you're through your ordeal and into clear water.

    Can't wait to tell your story to a firefighter friend of mine (in Scotland) - he'll be proud of you too but I don't think he'll be altogether surprised about your brothers since I think you're the same breed of men everywhere.

    Have a great 2012.

    You are indeed a lucky and
    You are indeed a lucky and very blessed man. Thanks for sharing your story. Happy to hear you are through the surgery and doing well.
    Rae
  • Texas_wedge
    Texas_wedge Member Posts: 2,798
    #20
    rae_rae said:

    You are indeed a lucky and
    You are indeed a lucky and very blessed man. Thanks for sharing your story. Happy to hear you are through the surgery and doing well.
    Rae

    Location of incision
    I've not seen pictures of wounds on this site before, which makes it all the more interesting. I'm guessing that just as no two cases of RCC are the same, so incisions will vary greatly from patient to patient. Can other contributors say whether their incisions resemble flatlander's? Obviously lap. wounds are pretty different from this, but do they occur in similar places on the body or do they vary widely from patient to patient? I've got both (due to a switch from lap. to open, during my op.) and the 3 little lap. incisions are a long way apart - one close beside my navel, one just at the top of my hip bone and the third about midway between the two but a few inches lower down. My open incision looks very much like flatlander's but perhaps a little further round to the front and a little less far round my back, but more horizontal. What really strikes me is that his lesion was mid-lobe and mine at the bottom of the kidney but my incision looks to be higher on my torso than his does. I suppose the fact is we all have slightly different internal layouts and part of the skill of the surgeon is to find the best route to navigate to where (S)he needs to go. (This reminds me - I should have included the fair sex in my comment above about the character of firefighters - my apologies for that oversight.)

    flatlander, love4life had it right when she said:

    "it will give the people around you the chance to show you how much they care and appreciate you." Well they sure took the chance you gave them and you must be a pretty special guy that your brothers and sisters turned out for you in the way they did.
  • lawmanmike
    lawmanmike Member Posts: 29
    #21
    Sm4pack said:

    Hoping things went well
    Hi buddy-
    I just joined the club today and can relate to everything you've said in your posts. I too have kids, ages 8 and 11. I have a CT on my lungs on teh 27th and am very nervous. i really want everything to be contained in the kidney. I have an open surgery scheduled on 1/9. Very interested to see how things when with you as I'll be following in your shoes. I'm praying that all is good and that you are able to get home by the 25th.

    January surgery too
    Thank you for starting this thread Flatlander (and GaryM for your encouragement!) Sm4Pack - good luck with your surgery on Jan 9th. I just recently joined the club too and have a 3cm mass on lower right kidney and scheduled for open partial nephrectomy just after you on January 12th. I was offered the procedure mid-December but the surgeon suggested I enjoy the holidays and shcedule it for early January and I am very thankful I did. My son is 3 now and this was his most exciting Christmas yet - couldn't imagine missing that. I will be thinking of you and your kids on January 9th and hoping all goes well for both of us!

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