Mum has gone :(

Mum2bellaandwilliam
Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
edited December 2011 in Ovarian Cancer #1
I cannot believe I am typing this, it still doesn't feel real.
Last Tuesady evening mum was taken into hospital , she died on Wednesday night. She had caught pneumonia and just could not fight it off.
It has been he'll. In the hospital they asked mum if she wanted to be resuscitated ,she Said yes, it was as much as she could do to say yes.10 minuets later the doc came in for a word, took us out of the room and said it was a pointless to resuscitate her , it was awful , I wanted to go with her wishes , but as the docs said it would be awful to watch and pointless.
At 7.40 Tuesday she slipped away so peacefully, all of her children with her.Catherine , j and I were deciding who should go home , so we could do shifts, I had just said to my sister shall we tell her it's ok to let go. Looked around, 30 seconds later she was gone. It was almost like she made the tough decision for us, Like mums do they always think of there children.I think she heard what I said, and the conversation about who should get rest first and decided she should leave.
I just cannot believe this has happened, I knew it was in the post, but just not this quickly. Poor mum she was so poorly for those last 24 hours, she didn't look like my mum, but she kept smiling as we spoke to her and as I Was telling her to fight she kept squeezing my hand
I am so pissed off this **** has robbed her of Xmas and turning 70 on Xmas day.
But I can take this from her death......cancer can no longer frighten her or us any longer and for that I am grateful.she fought hard for 19 months, she gave it her all.
She had no remission and constant ascites that needed to be drained , she never once complained.
My mum is a hero and an inspiration.
I will miss her so much , where am going to go when I am in the s**t? She always knew what to do!

Comments

  • mom2greatkids
    mom2greatkids Member Posts: 528
    #2
    I am SO sorry for your loss.
    I lost my Mom to Non-Hodgkins lymphoma Feb. 18, 2008. It's still very hard. I miss her so much. Allow yourself to grieve. Do not allow people to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. Do you have siblings? Is your father still living? I will keep you in my prayers. I have always been very close to one of my aunts (Mom's sister). My relationship with her still helps me greatly. Take care of yourself.

    Carla
  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    #3
    So sorry
    I am so sorry. When I saw your post, it just made me cry. Everytime I hear of losing one of us, it is just like a piece of me is torn away. You are a wonderful daughter. I am so glad that you were there for her. You and your family are in my prayers. All of you need to sit down and just talk about your mum. Tell stories about her that you love and want to share. This keeps your mum alive in your heart.

    ((((hugs)))))
    Linda
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #4
    clamryn said:

    So sorry
    I am so sorry. When I saw your post, it just made me cry. Everytime I hear of losing one of us, it is just like a piece of me is torn away. You are a wonderful daughter. I am so glad that you were there for her. You and your family are in my prayers. All of you need to sit down and just talk about your mum. Tell stories about her that you love and want to share. This keeps your mum alive in your heart.

    ((((hugs)))))
    Linda

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    Your mother sounds like a wonderful person. I wish I had words to make you feel better but of course cliche as it is only time can ease the pain. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Karen
  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    #5
    Liz
    I am so sorry for your loss... It was kind of similar the way we lost my mom.. my sisters and I had just stepped out for a few minutes, knew it would be a long night, snuck out to stretch our legs and get a bite to eat.. and in the short time we were gone, she left us... she quietly walked off over that bridge.. We had the hospital chaplain there earlier to pray with her and us, and we'd told her it was okay for her to go (thought it really wasn't okay , we were a frickin mess) You're right, that's mums for you, always thinking about their children, always putting us first. Wishing you strength and peace at this difficult time
    Big hugs,
    Cindy
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #6
    Mum
    Dear Liz,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum. I know how heartbreaking it is having lost my own mom in August. My mom went fast too, she was told her time was short, around a month and 12 days later she was gone.
    Sometimes it is too much to comprehend and there are days where you too will it hard to believe that your mother is gone.
    In the earliest days I found it too difficult to come to the board. It sounds terrible but I would get angry seeing others positive outcomes and think why not my Mom? I didn't wish ill will on anyone but I so wanted my mom to have had the glimmer of hope so many of these women have. I am so glad that others are fighting and winning but from the get go mom was too far gone.
    Do what you can to keep your mom's spirit alive and keep her close to your heart in each and every way that you can. Take comfort knowing that she was so proud of you and that you did everything you could to help make her journey easier.
    Cry and scream if you need to but let it out. It will make you feel better even if it's just for a little while.
    feel free to e-mail me as well.
    Hugs,

    Kelly
  • TiggersDoBounce
    TiggersDoBounce Member Posts: 408
    #7
    Liz
    Sending hugs and thoughts your way...

    You are a special daughter to a wonderful Mom....hang onto those great memories...

    Laurie
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #8
    TiggersDoBounce said:

    Liz
    Sending hugs and thoughts your way...

    You are a special daughter to a wonderful Mom....hang onto those great memories...

    Laurie

    this is so heartbreaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I feel like I really new you and your Mum.You have shared so much with us and you have given us all so much. Mum is in heaven now celebrating her birthday with Jesus. Her strenth and courage and wisdom will live forever in your heart,,,val
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #9
    MY SINCERE SYMPATHY
    There is no 'right time' to lose a loved one. But happening around the holidays AND her birthday made it especially difficult for you, I'm sure. Your dear mother has left quite a legacy behind, having been such an inspiration to you and others. That's the most any parent could hope for. You will soon be able to share the joy of your mother's life with your siblings and family. There will come a time when there will again be laughter and memories that will see you through this.

    My sincere condolences, and my continued prayers for your strength and recovery from your loss.

    Monika
  • karen1951
    karen1951 Member Posts: 103
    #10
    i am so sorry about the loss
    i am so sorry about the loss of your mother. my mom died of lung cancer 3 months after she was diagnosed. that was 15 years ago and i still miss her every single day. you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers...
    may you find some comfort in this reading...

    i am standing upon the seashore. a ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. she is an object of beauty and strength. i stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. then someone at my side says: "there, she is gone!" "gone where?" gone from my sight. that is all. she is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. her dimished size is in me, not in her. and just at the moment when someone at my side says: "there, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming. and other voices ready to take up the glad shout. "here she comes!" and that is dying.
    anonymous
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #11
    I am so sorry for your loss !
    These words do not seem like they are enough to give you any comfort but they are what I feel. Your Mom was so lucky to have you with her and you will know what to do in the future because she raised a wonderful daughter. Thank-you for sharing what you and your Mom have been through, I hope for a peaceful passing when it is my turn also.
    Colleen
  • txtrisha55
    txtrisha55 Member Posts: 693 Member
    #12
    So sorry to hear of the loss of your Mum.
    I lost my Mom to Sacroma Cancer back in May 92. I still miss her and think of her often but I also know that she is not in any more pain. That alone keeps me going. Do not let other tell you have to grieve, it does take time. Do not let others tell you that you have to move on, get rid of all your Mum's things, do that in your own time. There is no time limit on any of this. It took my sister and me, two years before we could bring ourselves to go through her things and get rid of some of it.

    It is nice that your Mum had family around her. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. I will keep all in my prayers. trish
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #13
    txtrisha55 said:

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your Mum.
    I lost my Mom to Sacroma Cancer back in May 92. I still miss her and think of her often but I also know that she is not in any more pain. That alone keeps me going. Do not let other tell you have to grieve, it does take time. Do not let others tell you that you have to move on, get rid of all your Mum's things, do that in your own time. There is no time limit on any of this. It took my sister and me, two years before we could bring ourselves to go through her things and get rid of some of it.

    It is nice that your Mum had family around her. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. I will keep all in my prayers. trish

    I am shocked to hear of
    I am shocked to hear of this. I too felt like I knew you and your mom. She was a true Teal Warrior and that's the truth.
  • Anita1216
    Anita1216 Member Posts: 58
    #14
    jbeans888 said:

    I am shocked to hear of
    I am shocked to hear of this. I too felt like I knew you and your mom. She was a true Teal Warrior and that's the truth.

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am still missing my mama terribly. Its an awful thing, but to know they are free of the pain and fear..that is a blessing in its own way.

    Take care of you, of your family. Try to remember before the cancer, before your world went upside down.

    Its been almost 4 months and we still have her birthday to get through, but each day brings a memory of somethng good, something wonderful she said or did.

    Its a hard thing.

    ***HUGS***
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #15
    So very sorry
    I'm so saddened by this news. Your Mum fought like a tiger and you were with her every step of the way. Your Mum kept teaching you about how to handle adversity up till the very end. She'll always be there to guide you when you think "what would Mum say to do?"
    (((HUGS to you and your family))) Maria
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #16
    She was so blessed to have a
    She was so blessed to have a daughter as you. Her greatest gift is that you will be like her.
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #17
    She was so blessed to have a
    She was so blessed to have a daughter as you. Her greatest gift is that you will be like her.
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #18
    She was so blessed to have a
    Oops multiple posts

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