mastasized stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma tumor in the right maxillary sinus

smokki
smokki Member Posts: 2
edited November 2011 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
My brother told me on the phone Monday, Nov 7th, 2010 he has quit recently been diagnose with sinus cancer. I quietly said I had to get off the phone and hung up, I cried for many hours. I finally got up enough guts to call him on tuesday, he said, his worst fear was that I wouldn't call him back....OMG you guys I am so sad in my heart, I can't loose anyone else, lost our dad a few years ago... in 10 short days to multiple myeloma
I can’t really talk to my hubby about this the way I need to, if i am hurt and he can't fix it he freaks out, I understand that, but it doesn't help when i'm blowing a gasket.
My brother's name is Jim, he has what is called, stage four "squamous cell carcinoma in the right maxillary sinus" I never heard of it,and know very little about cancer, I guess he's had this for a while. Frick..anyway,,surgery is Dec 6 at 6am in salt lake city, Utah.
He said the doctors will remove his right jaw bone, part of his nose, most of his right cheek, all of his upper palette, and part of the bones in his forehead and both lump nod in his neck and most of his teeth. Because it has metastasized they might take much more bone & tissue...frickkk, my brother is as tough as an old rusty nail but he's my baby brother, i so want to save him and i can't,

My brother doesn't have money and he refused to have this surgery without at least getting an “upper plate with soft palate prosthesis at the back”?... so he can still eat and speak when they remove the feeding tube,….and What does that mean????
anyway, guess they are waiting on funding, but the surgery date is tentatively set.

I talked to him much more since, I asked if I should get some $ together and fly out to see him. He said “no” send him the money so he can eat more and put some weight on before surgery, (Jim is now 6’ tall and now about 150lbs) He said he is in no pain except a slight pain in his right cheek bone, he is not on any meds
He said: 8-10 hours for surgery, 5 days max in the hospital, feeding tube for a week or so at home and he should be back to normal and ready to come out here to California and visit. I told him he can stay here with me as long as he wants.
I AM SO SCARED for him and me, but I don’t need a powder puff I need the truth about this awful cancer please has anyone been through this

Comments

  • tonyb
    tonyb Member Posts: 69
    #2
    The first thing i should say....
    is that you need to know, most of us guys are just like your husband. we are all wired with the basic need to fix things. and people. Thats our way of coping..
    When you bring a guy a situation like this and we can't fix it, you have to let us know up front, that you just need us to listen and to understand,and to be there with you, not to try and fix it, but to hang in there and be the rock that you need, at this time.
    The next thing i need you to know is that you gotta be that same rock for your brother, when you can be....
    lastly, i can honestly say that you and your brother are not alone, many folks here have similar experiences. please keep in mind that every individual is different, and every journey with this disease is slightly different than everyone elses, but you will find plenty of people on here who have been thru everything that you will go thru, and then some.
    I was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma just about a year ago, it started with my left tonsil and spread into my soft palette,and lower part of my sinus. My treatment wasn't the same, as your brothers will be, but no matter how this battle is fought, its always tough, and hope is something not to be taken lightly.
    The best thing that helped me was faith, and the absolute conviction that god was in controll of my life, i honestly would not have gotten thru it without that belief.
    Best wishes and i will keep you guys in my prayers.
    Tony b.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #3
    Hi smokki

    I want you to know that there are a lot of us here who had almost the same cancer and we are all alive and doing well. Cancer is not a death sentence; it is only a slight set back in life that some of us have to go through. Your brother will need your help and support now more then ever in his life. Friends and Family are very importance in keeping him positive and looking for the day when his treatment will end. Also loving him the way he is when he comes out of all this.

    I have NPC Cancer three times and there are a lot of others who have cancer twice, we are all still here and stay to help others who are like you and your brother, There is Hope my friend.


    PS: You may also want to tell your brother about this site as he will find a lot of help and support here.

    Wishing you well, and welcome to CSN
    Hondo
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #4
    Maintain A Positive Attitude
    First Welcome to the forum...

    Here is some of my take (non-powder puff version) in response.

    You sound like you are giving up on him before the battle even begins. A positive attitude is a must and it spreads, he needs you to be positive. You neeed to know and be positive that a cure is very possible.

    Cancer is not what it was several years ago, both technology and treatment has improved greatly. Cancer and treatment is very survivable these days in a lot of cases.

    There's a lot missing in your story, not sure if it's on your translation or your brothers...

    No mention of chemo or radiation, which I would presume there would be, and more than likely both, and over several months, and as many or more for recovery.

    There seems to be mention of a lot of surgery and tissue removal which I haven't heard before, but that doesn't mean it's not the case, don't know, I was STGIII SCC Tonsil Cancer.

    Also, most importantly, I can only speak of my own experience which was totally different from your brothers. I am in no way a medicial professional, just a survivor that went through a similar situation.

    As for the hospital stay, week on the feeding tube and traveling like nothing has happened...that's just not realistic at all to me...not sure where that's coming from.

    He has STGIV Cancer....I just don't think it's something treated only with surgery, if it has been diagnosed as treatable with such minimal treatment, he might seek another opinion.

    I'm sure others will chime in with their thoughts and opinions...

    Stay strong, offer support, be there as much as needed and you can, and as my buddy KCASS on here says, "BELIEVE"...

    Also, there is a thread on here that offers tons of compiled information that could be very useful to you;

    SuperThread

    Thoughts and Prayers,
    John
  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    #5
    Take it one step at a time
    Both of you. As has been said above, all this is overwhelming. But it isn't a death sentence. There is only one way to eat the elephant, and that is one bite at a time. My surgery last year was this major, lasting almost 13 hours, and leaving me with a ton of recovery to do. I'm still in process, which means I'm still alive. If you check my bio, I've been around for quite awhile despite the cancer situation.

    Your brother may be only telling you what he thinks you can handle. From your description of the surgery planned, he may be in the hospital a bit longer than this, and have more in the way of recovery than just a few weeks. And there may need to be additional treatment beyond just the surgery.

    Take it one step at a time. Don't panic over tomorrow. There is plenty to deal with today.

    Best to all.
  • tesa
    tesa Member Posts: 123
    #6
    longtermsurvivor said:

    Take it one step at a time
    Both of you. As has been said above, all this is overwhelming. But it isn't a death sentence. There is only one way to eat the elephant, and that is one bite at a time. My surgery last year was this major, lasting almost 13 hours, and leaving me with a ton of recovery to do. I'm still in process, which means I'm still alive. If you check my bio, I've been around for quite awhile despite the cancer situation.

    Your brother may be only telling you what he thinks you can handle. From your description of the surgery planned, he may be in the hospital a bit longer than this, and have more in the way of recovery than just a few weeks. And there may need to be additional treatment beyond just the surgery.

    Take it one step at a time. Don't panic over tomorrow. There is plenty to deal with today.

    Best to all.

    Hi Smokki,My mother has
    Hi Smokki,
    My mother has squamous cell carcinoma in her right maxillary sinus and nasal cavity. Hers also runs along nerve to skull base and cavernous sinus. The best thing is to get the right treatment in the beginning. That was our major mistake.
    We're still fighting this demon. My mother is currently being reirradiated at the University of Michigan Hospital.
    Hang in there, be strong, and do your research.
    Tell your brother about this site.
    I'll be glad to talk to you more since it seems that your brother has the same kind of cancer as my mother.
    My email is gcooper242@yahoo.com.
    Make sure the doctors are knowledgeable about this rare cancer. A lot of doctors are not.
  • smokki
    smokki Member Posts: 2
    #7
    Since my last post my
    Since my last post my brother has made the decision to not have surgery on Dec 6th. He believes that for him, it is the quality of his life now, not quantity of years, or months he may have after surgery, chemo or whatever else his cancer becomes.
    The doctor says he has maybe 6 months, 3 months before he loses sight in his right eye.
    Thank you all for your replies, God bless.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #8
    smokki said:

    Since my last post my
    Since my last post my brother has made the decision to not have surgery on Dec 6th. He believes that for him, it is the quality of his life now, not quantity of years, or months he may have after surgery, chemo or whatever else his cancer becomes.
    The doctor says he has maybe 6 months, 3 months before he loses sight in his right eye.
    Thank you all for your replies, God bless.

    Hi smokki

    I understand his decision but please get him to log onto to CSN and see how many of us have been through Cancer not once but twice and some 3 times and we are all still here alive and doing well. He can fight this but he has to be willing to give it a try. I hope and pray that he will put it in Gods hands and let his faith guide and show him what he needs to do.

    Praying for you both
    Hondo
  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    #9
    Hondo said:

    Hi smokki

    I understand his decision but please get him to log onto to CSN and see how many of us have been through Cancer not once but twice and some 3 times and we are all still here alive and doing well. He can fight this but he has to be willing to give it a try. I hope and pray that he will put it in Gods hands and let his faith guide and show him what he needs to do.

    Praying for you both
    Hondo

    I second this thought
    His is a very private decision, and can be understood in the context of his malignancy. What he is making is a final decision, and it might be helpful for him to see what some of the rest of us have been through, and the quality of life we still enjoy.

    Best regards to you and your brother.

    Pat

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