Positive thinking

JimboC
JimboC Member Posts: 264
in Esophageal Cancer #1
I have often said that cancer is more of a mental battle than physical but of late, I had forgotten that. When I had the bad PET, I let myself go to a bad place and remained there for quite a while. I had resigned myself to my fate which had yet to be determined medically yet I had already figured it out. I've had some pretty bad days as a result.

Late last night, I decided that the node has not been determined to be cancerous yet. As my oncologist says, "No issue without tissue." My biopsy is the 23rd and I'm sure the lab will take several days to get the results back especially with Thanksgiving the next day. Armed with this new (albeit old) attitude, today was a much better day.

My wife had a female procedure performed today and her anaesthetist found out I was an EC survivor and asked if I would mind to talk about it. He came over and we talked for probably thirty minutes about everything, my treatment, surgery and the whole shooting match. Laying it out for him made me realize I'm pretty darn fortunate. I am nine months post diagnosis and feeling great. I'm eating great and returning to work Monday. He actually asked if I would mind to give him a call once I got my results and let him know. He seemed genuinely concerned and very impressed with my progress.

All of this dribble to get to this point. This is a dreadful disease with some bad odds. If you try to think ahead of it, it will bring you down. Live for today and be thankful for it. The day really goes a lot better if you do.

Comments

  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,392 Member
    #2
    I totally agree
    Jimbo,

    I can't agree more with your observation about mental attitude. After I finished the battle of recovery from surgery and chemotherapy; I started to feel pretty good again. But like most people who are 60 some years old, occasionally I would wake up not feeling well or I would develop a "new" pain somewhere and immediately start to think "recurrence". After about the third time I spent a few days in anxiety after a scan or a new set of symptoms I sat down and really started to think through "well what if there was a recurrence and the news was bad". I started to think about all the potentially good time I would waste if I assumed the worst every time something happened.

    I finally got myself to the point where, if I was in a funk I would ask myself, "If this was the last day of your life is this the way you would want to spend it feeling?". That normally gets me focused in the right direction.

    I am really hoping the results from the EUS and biopsy is "just a false alarm". In the mean time given a choice between feeling bad or good......why not chose to feel good?

    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    McCormick, South Carolina

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    Two year survivor

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
  • Ericalynn
    Ericalynn Member Posts: 200
    #3
    Live for Today
    Jim,
    You are so right; our minds can take us to some very dark places. We cannot predict the future (but I sure do try) so why put ourselves in the future (but I do). I think sometime if we try to think of the worse case scenario we think it will make it easier "if" what ever we imagine happens but we can not prepare for the worse so why do we try. We all need to keep reminding each other and ourselves that we need to live in the present all we have is now and for now you are A OK (so is John).
    Thank you for the reminder and if you forget again I will try to remind you. It takes a village to live this life, I am glad you and everyone here is in my village!
    Great reminder
    Live for today
    Erica
  • sangora
    sangora Member Posts: 213
    #4
    Ericalynn said:

    Live for Today
    Jim,
    You are so right; our minds can take us to some very dark places. We cannot predict the future (but I sure do try) so why put ourselves in the future (but I do). I think sometime if we try to think of the worse case scenario we think it will make it easier "if" what ever we imagine happens but we can not prepare for the worse so why do we try. We all need to keep reminding each other and ourselves that we need to live in the present all we have is now and for now you are A OK (so is John).
    Thank you for the reminder and if you forget again I will try to remind you. It takes a village to live this life, I am glad you and everyone here is in my village!
    Great reminder
    Live for today
    Erica

    Hard But Necessary
    Fortunatly, I was blessed to be born with an upbeat and generally positive attitude. When I was first Dx with EC and a stage IV to boot, I decided I could crawl in a hole and die in the 3-6 months they figured I would last or I could make the most of whatever time I had left. I looked to the future in getting my financial affairs in order and the taking care of my Will but beyond that I kept getting up every morning looking for something positve to accomplish this day and take things in stride as they came. My body seems to thrive on Chemo drugs and though I have some side effects issues nothing like I see on here or read about in other places. My doctors are amazed at how well I seem to handle them. I and most of my friends attribute the success of the past 18 months to the fact that I am a happy person, don't dwell on my situation and continue to take an interest in those around me. Attitude can carry one a long way. Sam
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #5
    You are absolutely correct!
    You are absolutely correct! My mom has been in the dumps and there is no way she's going to get through this being in this frame of mind. Fortunately, she is now on anxiety and anti depression meds and her outlook is much better! Now she's only feeling tired.

    Thanks for sharing this!
  • GerryS
    GerryS Member Posts: 227 Member
    #6
    Great post...........
    This is something I have struggled with since my dx and surgery 18 plus months ago. Although things are going well, I have struggled with getting re-focused on my life and goals. Too early for retirement (59) but have so many things I want to do. My career does not seem as important as it once was. I would like to travel with my wife and spend more time with my loved ones but I have slipped into "business as usual" and others expect that of me. My success is largely due to my wifes positive attitude, she never accepted the grim statistics of this disease and we proceeded with "we will get thru this together"! We celebrated our 37 year anniversary yesterday. I am so grateful for so much. My future is still cloudy. God Bless you all.

    Gerry
  • ChaadMN
    ChaadMN Member Posts: 32
    #7
    Agreed
    That's the best way of looking at things. I have learned that there are things in life that we as humans have no control over. A recurrence or cancer in general is one of those things that we have no control over. Control the things we can, and deal with the things we can't control as they come up.
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    #8
    ChaadMN said:

    Agreed
    That's the best way of looking at things. I have learned that there are things in life that we as humans have no control over. A recurrence or cancer in general is one of those things that we have no control over. Control the things we can, and deal with the things we can't control as they come up.

    attitude is everything
    Just like everyone else on this board, I feel the same way. Everyone said I helped them when I was diagnosed with stage III EC. We joked because in my family we have a dark humor gene. But with all the positive thinking, I think we all have our moments of terror. I had a lot of complications during the presurgery treatment, getting admitted and having to stay much longer than expected, reverse isolation but I kept it together for my hubby and my child and grandchildren. But when I could not walk months after surgery due to lung problems, I sat in my bathroom and cried, one of the few times I ever did cry but knew that I had to keep on, my loved ones needed me. So I think a fighter attitude is most important, not bad fighter but I will keep on keeping on attitude. One of my closest friends struggled with colon cancer for 7 yrs and lived so much longer than the drs expected because she just said she would. She was my inspiration and often told me I would survive, which meant the world to me. It helps all of us here to get so much encouragement and positive suggestions. They mean more coming from all of us here because they are with us and really know what we are going thru. This was the place I got my positive attitude from, the other info I got was so wrong about survival, it was here I learned it is possible. take care, good luck to all,
    Donna70
  • sandy1943
    sandy1943 Member Posts: 824
    #9
    Jimbo,
    We all know that we
    Jimbo,
    We all know that we are not quaranteed our next breath; but so often I am so concerned about tomorrow I forget to enjoy today. As far as C. goes,it is out of our control, so keeping a positive attitude is the best way to fight it.
    Like Paul, my age blesses me with new aches and pains everyday. Sometimes when I am hurting somewhere, my first thought is a new cancer, but I refuse to let this control my life. I'll go off the deep end if and when it happens ( and I will go off temporarily) I had a hard time when I was first dx'd because it was something I couldn't control. For my sanity, I had to learn to put my faith in God and the doctors to handle things for me.

    I'm glad the anaesthetist was open to talking to you and that you felt free to discuss your EC. I try not to pass up and opportunity to share,because it will help spread the word. I feel if for no other reason I am NEd, it is to tell my story and it might save someone else from going through this awful cancer.
    It's only natural to have some anxiety. That's human, but I will be praying for God to give you peace with it, so that your thanksgiving will be full of thanks for all the blessings you've had so far.
    Praying for good results,Sandra
  • jim2011
    jim2011 Member Posts: 115
    #10
    The bad odds
    Jimbo,
    The bad 5 year odds you hear and read about, also include the folks who do-not make it past year one of diagnosis. You are 9 months out and feeling good. Your odds of getting past the first year are pretty darn good in my opinion. I feel a bit guilty for not even wanting to go back to the office. You are strong and determined.
    Alot of people get the diagnosis and just say f*** it and do nothing. You are fighting and want answers and so are lots of EC survivors including myself. I blew past my one year mark 11/05/2011 and feel good like I have at LEAST another year to go. Even if a sign of recurrence popped up, I think that I could handle it and I KNOW that you would deal with it just fine. I wish you the best.
    Jim
  • JimboC
    JimboC Member Posts: 264
    #11
    You guys are all so right.
    You guys are all so right. I got sidetracked by the possibility of bad news I let my head run away with it. I really feel amazing so even if it were bad news, I've still got a good bit of fight left it me. With that said, it's not bad news until I get pathology back and that is quite a bit off.
  • BMGky
    BMGky Member Posts: 621
    #12
    Each post is so impressive!!
    Each post is so impressive!! What a tribute to the joy of the human spirit. My prayers are with each and every one on this discussion board for comfort and knowledge to know what to do. MG
  • TerryV
    TerryV Member Posts: 887
    #13
    Positive thinking is what got Nick through....
    I'm certain that positive thinking is what got Nick through his rads & chemo treatment with minimal negative side effects. It's positive thinking that gets each one of us out of bed in the morning :)

    Thanks for the reminder, Jimbo. And thanks to all for sharing their personal positive outlook on life.

    Terry
  • T-Bird
    T-Bird Member Posts: 25
    #14
    agreed!
    great thread Jimbo and I will add my 2 cents to this that IT was my attitude and postive thinking that got me through my first session of treatments. Now that I am having to go through this with a recurrence, I gotta be twice as determined and postive.

    The mind is an amazing instrument and the power of positive thinking or positive mind can anticipate happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action (IMO - in my opinion).

    Hoping you all are all having a calm, peaceful evening.
  • jojoshort
    jojoshort Member Posts: 230 Member
    #15
    Right on Jimbo
    Steve's motto and his artwork were: Live Life/Love Life. Enjoy each day and the people in it. Love this thread!
    Jo-Ann

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