New Member, looking forward to giving and getting a little support!

Annichka
Annichka Member Posts: 5
in Breast Cancer #1
Hi Girls! I finished treatment in May, and am doing great now, just a few bothersome things like peripheral neuropathy and leg pain. Mainly, though, I have changed so much emotionally, it's really weird. Also very personal. This happened at a time when everything was changing in my life, kids went off to college, we sold our business, moved house, and I had just started a company and was traveling globally, fulfilling a dream. Now, on this side of treatment, I have a whole different outlook and values, even friends. Does anyone else feel this way, like you're a different person entirely?

Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #2
    Welcome to the board
    Hi Annichka,
    It this your first name? Just curious we all have different history behind our screen names.
    Yes, 2&1/2 years ago after I finished treatment I has become a different person. Lately, I feel I am coming back to old"pre-disease me".I feel I am loosing this "sense of wonder" I have got after finishing treatment. I do not like it, however I heard from long-term survivors +10, that it normal and part of being normal again.
    New Flower
  • Frankie Shannon
    Frankie Shannon Member Posts: 457
    #3
    Welcome
    I thing we all change emotionally as our diagnose is so devastating at the time our brains have to rewire but we all cope in our own way be positive and laugh allot be kind to your self i hope you have lots of support at home Hugs Frankie
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #4
    Frankie Shannon said:

    Welcome
    I thing we all change emotionally as our diagnose is so devastating at the time our brains have to rewire but we all cope in our own way be positive and laugh allot be kind to your self i hope you have lots of support at home Hugs Frankie

    Yes I feel totally different
    Yes I feel totally different.I have become someone who talked about my bc in the beginning but now I don't.Also quit wearing pink.Not sure if it will be everything or just my bc jewelry etc.Right now I'm not into a pink blouse or sweater.

    For my feelings they've changed. I stay away from the negative people who think automatically as soon as you are dx it is a death sentence.I feel it is a life threatening disease but I sure don't want negative people around me to make me feel worse.Seems like what they try to do.

    One thing that I am reminded of is my friend said BC changed her in so many ways.She will hear me saying something and then she says"I told you Breast Cancer will change you and your life".She is right. Our life isn't as normal as it used to be and Never will be.

    I wait from one mammo to the next but before I didn't think about it as much.After one mammo I am ready for another.I want things to go faster.Esp when it comes to the mammo testing.It will be 2 1/2years for me in January. I am anxious to reach my 5 year mark. That will be my milestone for now.Then 10 15 and 20 years.

    I didn't have chemo or radiation but had a lumpectomy and take tamoxifin.

    Lynn Smith
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #5
    Lynn Smith said:

    Yes I feel totally different
    Yes I feel totally different.I have become someone who talked about my bc in the beginning but now I don't.Also quit wearing pink.Not sure if it will be everything or just my bc jewelry etc.Right now I'm not into a pink blouse or sweater.

    For my feelings they've changed. I stay away from the negative people who think automatically as soon as you are dx it is a death sentence.I feel it is a life threatening disease but I sure don't want negative people around me to make me feel worse.Seems like what they try to do.

    One thing that I am reminded of is my friend said BC changed her in so many ways.She will hear me saying something and then she says"I told you Breast Cancer will change you and your life".She is right. Our life isn't as normal as it used to be and Never will be.

    I wait from one mammo to the next but before I didn't think about it as much.After one mammo I am ready for another.I want things to go faster.Esp when it comes to the mammo testing.It will be 2 1/2years for me in January. I am anxious to reach my 5 year mark. That will be my milestone for now.Then 10 15 and 20 years.

    I didn't have chemo or radiation but had a lumpectomy and take tamoxifin.

    Lynn Smith

    Well . . .
    The parts about the old me that I liked haven't changed - or at least I don't think so. Most of the new me I like. There are still some things I need to work on, but maybe not. I'm simply more accepting of myself and others. What you said about feelings toward friends is right on with me. I try to keep things in perspective, but I am really pissed off at some of my friends and family. Then I put my mind into my precancer state and I probably would not have reacted much differently than they did. I have made so many new friends since my dx who have truly enriched me life (according to me). Not having cancer makes it difficult to know what to do for a person who is going through cancer treatments - and I try to remember that.

    I think you will find that we all have changed and embrace (for the most part) who we have become. Welcome.

    Suzanne
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #6
    Welcome
    I am nearly done with radiation. I am getting back to my old self. However, it is a more aware self. I am less tense than before as I think "well it probably can't get any worse than having cancer". I swear that stress gave me the cancer. So that is a welcome change.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #7
    I do not feel any
    I do not feel any differnt-just realize how fortunate I was/am to have found mine so early! I never missed testing and do thank myself for it.

    My 19 yr old said I still feel terrible I did not go the day of surgery. (she was in HS then and didn't want her to miss classes) she was with me for total hystertomy 6mths ago-she feels she should have been with me for BC too!

    I do not worry, fret etc. with each mammo etc. just try to think it could have been much worse...easy for me to say...I did not have chemo! (did have surgery and radiation)

    So I THINK same person-and now I bug others who skip mammos until they go! So even if I get ONE PERSON to go...I am a Happy camper

    Denise
  • Annichka
    Annichka Member Posts: 5
    #8
    Lynn Smith said:

    Yes I feel totally different
    Yes I feel totally different.I have become someone who talked about my bc in the beginning but now I don't.Also quit wearing pink.Not sure if it will be everything or just my bc jewelry etc.Right now I'm not into a pink blouse or sweater.

    For my feelings they've changed. I stay away from the negative people who think automatically as soon as you are dx it is a death sentence.I feel it is a life threatening disease but I sure don't want negative people around me to make me feel worse.Seems like what they try to do.

    One thing that I am reminded of is my friend said BC changed her in so many ways.She will hear me saying something and then she says"I told you Breast Cancer will change you and your life".She is right. Our life isn't as normal as it used to be and Never will be.

    I wait from one mammo to the next but before I didn't think about it as much.After one mammo I am ready for another.I want things to go faster.Esp when it comes to the mammo testing.It will be 2 1/2years for me in January. I am anxious to reach my 5 year mark. That will be my milestone for now.Then 10 15 and 20 years.

    I didn't have chemo or radiation but had a lumpectomy and take tamoxifin.

    Lynn Smith

    me too!
    Lynn, I have sworn I won't wear pink! I just don't want BC to define who I am, and I
    haven't let it. Maybe that's too much denial, but it works for me! But, and this is kinda funny, I don't hesitate to play the 'cancer card' if I feel it will get me what I want! For example, trying to get people to support my project or something like that! That's just not right, is it? :)
  • Annichka
    Annichka Member Posts: 5
    #9
    New Flower said:

    Welcome to the board
    Hi Annichka,
    It this your first name? Just curious we all have different history behind our screen names.
    Yes, 2&1/2 years ago after I finished treatment I has become a different person. Lately, I feel I am coming back to old"pre-disease me".I feel I am loosing this "sense of wonder" I have got after finishing treatment. I do not like it, however I heard from long-term survivors +10, that it normal and part of being normal again.
    New Flower

    name
    It's my nickname given me by my Russian friend. She lives in Moscow.
  • Annichka
    Annichka Member Posts: 5
    #10
    Frankie Shannon said:

    Welcome
    I thing we all change emotionally as our diagnose is so devastating at the time our brains have to rewire but we all cope in our own way be positive and laugh allot be kind to your self i hope you have lots of support at home Hugs Frankie

    thanks
    Yes, I had lots of support from family and friends. It made such a huge difference! Now I'm really pursuing my dreams and becoming my own person. I am really enjoying the work I'm doing, it's very fulfilling. That makes life exciting! What do yall think about drinking and smoking? It's weird, but I never smoked until AFTER surviving BC! I don't drink a lot, but do enjoy it on weekends. What do yall think???
  • Ballerina
    Ballerina Member Posts: 152
    #11
    Welcome
    Yes, I feel like an entirely different person going through the motions of my former self. I still enjoy things I did prior to bc inaddition to new interest. But most of the time I feel like I'm trying to find myself. I know eventually I will.


    Ballerina
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #12
    I keep growing
    I have become more positive (if that is possible) and continue to learn. I embrace life each day and live it to its fullest. I am not afraid. Though, let's remember that I am now 70 so I have live a long time, am wise (debatable), and I plan on living into my 90's.

    We have choices...negative or positive. I continue to explore, grow, and experience new things. Do things that give you pleasure. Be careful of negative people...better to limit your association with them.

    Last week I saw a rheumatologist regarding my left knee and right thumb. She told me that she thought I had bursitis in the knee. I was so excited about this information because I thought it was arthritis. Then she told me that I have a "tendon" problem in the thumb. Again I was so excited about it being a tendon problem, because I thought that it also was arthritis.

    I am waddling right now when I walk. Today is my volunteer day and I walked back and forth for 3 hours, taking women to their dressing room at Lynn Sage Breast Center. I told the technicians that I am considering coming to the hospital next week with my exercise walking poles. They roared. If my knees are still tight that's what I am going to do.

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle

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