Anyone else with Nightmares?

Yes
Hi Kelly,

I dreamed recently that my mother hadn't died....I said to my sister in the dream "I thought Mom died May 27th?" Wendy told me that no, the recent taxol had worked and we get 3 more years. I was totally psyched and confused, then I woke up .... crash...I also dreamed abou my brother. In reality, there is something he did at the end, that really irritated me....in the dream, he was being horrible, and when I woke up the next day, I was upset all day. I saw a counselor who said that I had been traumatized and this was normal....all part of the grief stuff....what hasn't happened is that Mom has not visited me in a dream yet. I heard that can happen and then the survivor feels better.....not happened. I think it has been such a short time and we're still totally entrenched in our grief and trying to process it......it's a challenge for sure...

kellyh33 said:

Dreams
Hi Lisa,
One of my sisters sees my mom in her dreams all the time. I have very vivid dreams yet she has not visited me yet either. I wish she would. I really miss her. November 13th is my birthday and it is going to be hard not having her here. Today is my husband's birthday. We went to Red Lobster with my Dad and all i kept thinking about was last year mom went with us. It was the last time she went to a restaurant
Everyday it seems to hurt a little more.

so similar to my repeated dreams after my grandmother died.
My grandmother lived in the house with us and was my whole world as a child and even as I got older. She died of a brain tumore shortly after I had my 2nd son, in Syracuse and I was living in Pittsburgh then. I wrote to her daily because she asked me to, almost like journeling, and I'd mail them out twice a week. My aunt waited until after she died to phone and tell me, and she was cremated and said there was no reason for me to come. They didn't want a service. So I always thought that lack of closure when I loved her so dearly, was the reason I dreamed the same dream over and over.

In the dream I am driving in a deep woods all alone and see a small house up ahead. I go up to the door, and my Nan answers the knock. I am so HAPPY and I say "Oh, Nan, I thought you were dead!" And then her face gets incredibly sad, and I know that she is still dead. I woke up night after night with my ears filled with tears from crying in my sleep and that trickle of tears into my ear when I turned in bed startled me awake. And I would be in deep grief fresh again.

It's been years now since I had that dream, but I did dream it over and over for several years. Funny how similar our dreams were, as if the subconscious feels compelled to have us accept the truth we so want to deny, so that we can move on. ((((Hugs to all those who grieve))).

Alone and together
I had to fly home for a couple of days when my dad was in home hospice. The day I flew home (to help my son with his Jr. Prom)was the night my dad passed - alone in the hospital. My mom didn't tell me he was admitted, nor was she able to stay at the hospital. She was not in very good health and had driven home before dark not thinking she wouldn't see her husband again. I had a very tough time realizing my dad was 'alone' when he died.
About a month later, my dream was a knock at my door and there standing before me was my dad. A smile and looking well, just like he always looked. He talked to me and told me he was just fine- all was OK. I can remember that dream to this day.
When my mom passed, I was in the hospital room with her. It was a decision I had to make to take her off life support. I sat with her, held her hand and whispered in her ear that all was well with her family. We were OK and we were going to be OK. As much as I've wanted that same dream of her like my dad- it hasn't happened. It will be 6 years on New Years Eve. That leaves me to think, that I was with her when she passed and knew she was in no pain and that her suffering was coming to an end. I guess seeing my dad in my dream reassured me that he wasn't alone after all. Letting go is so hard- but being with the ones you love at the time of transition is inexplicable. So beautiful and so full of emotional emptiness. I hope the 'bad' dreams go away and that the newness of life will fill your heart again.. Loves, El

Dreams
are an odd thing, especially when they are the same one every time. When I was a kid I had the same dream, almost every night. It was about some woman who came to our door every night. At the time it was scary for me, but I never told my parents about it. Now I really wish I had discussed it with someone, to put some reason to it. I think that being able to talk about your dreams that bother you or are recurring is really important. It will help you sort through the obvious greif or maybe what is below all the grief that is really upsetting you. THey say that the dream world is where we try and resolve all the unresoved issues of our life when we are awake.

Warm hugs,
katlhleen

lindaprocopio said:

so similar to my repeated dreams after my grandmother died.
My grandmother lived in the house with us and was my whole world as a child and even as I got older. She died of a brain tumore shortly after I had my 2nd son, in Syracuse and I was living in Pittsburgh then. I wrote to her daily because she asked me to, almost like journeling, and I'd mail them out twice a week. My aunt waited until after she died to phone and tell me, and she was cremated and said there was no reason for me to come. They didn't want a service. So I always thought that lack of closure when I loved her so dearly, was the reason I dreamed the same dream over and over.

In the dream I am driving in a deep woods all alone and see a small house up ahead. I go up to the door, and my Nan answers the knock. I am so HAPPY and I say "Oh, Nan, I thought you were dead!" And then her face gets incredibly sad, and I know that she is still dead. I woke up night after night with my ears filled with tears from crying in my sleep and that trickle of tears into my ear when I turned in bed startled me awake. And I would be in deep grief fresh again.

It's been years now since I had that dream, but I did dream it over and over for several years. Funny how similar our dreams were, as if the subconscious feels compelled to have us accept the truth we so want to deny, so that we can move on. ((((Hugs to all those who grieve))).

Hi Linda
My mum died 3 years ago and I too have similar dreams to you. I dream that I go to my parents house and my mum is there. I know in my dream that she was very ill from cancer and that she had died. But my mum is alive and well and I am confused. I say to her I thought you had cancer. She replies I did but they have managed to cure me. In other dreams she tells me she did die but has come back to life. And one dream she came back but then went again. In my dream I am upset because I know she left us (my dad and me) and has gone to live somewhere else and will not tell us her address or phone number.

I think dreams are our sub-conscious helping us to understand things that are hard.

Love Tina xxx