Since your diagnosis, what are some things you thought you would never hear? Let's have some humor

poopergirl14052 said:

hey baldy,,how are you
lol,,hubby loved to say this. After a while I was fuzzy head,,then pillow head and then Bozo and he says he loves me no matter how much hair I have.

Are you a man?
The trailer park I lived in had a pool. In the changing room/bathrooms, I was waiting for my neices. A little girl looks at me. She looks away and then stares at me really hard. She then asks me if I was a man. I almost broke out laughing.

I said no sweetie. My bald head confused her. Though since then I have been surprised by how much the no hair confused smaller kids. Still it was a good one. I smile when I think about it.

When my nieces came with my sister to take care of me, they noticed the bathroom issue. She in a round about way told me of a hospital visit she had, when she could not poop. She is 8, and it took her a few minutes to get to the meat of the story. She was totally stopped up so they ended up giving her a suppository. She looked really earnest and told me that the urgent care room could probably give me one. That was first..."Tia you might need a you know...up your you know. It made me poop every 45 minutes."

What!?!
A couple of months ago I was pulled over by a state trooper because I didn't have the most recent sticker on my license plate. While he was standing next to my car, he said, "Oh, and I see you are not wearing your seatbelt." I lifted my arm to show him that I had the shoulder belt under my arm and explained to him that I have a port in my chest through which I receive IVS, and that the shoulder belt rubs on the port. He responded with, "Well, I have a 6 inch scar on my left breast, and it doesn't interfere with my wearing my seat belt correctly." I just stared at him. Really, what do you say to that?

leesag said:

Pet Names
After my first surgery, my husband called me "peanut" because my head is apparently cutely shaped like a peanut.

With the second surgery that left a scar on my cute little peanut head, he had to come up with a new name. Since I was also on steroids which gave me a puffy face, he settled on a combination of zipper and chipmunk---"zipchip" or "zipmunk" depending on his mood.

I love all of his pet names!

Leesa

"Welcome to the Club!"
"Welcome to the club", said my nearly bald husband after I lost all of my hair. Indeed, I found out first-hand how cold the head gets during the winter months and made sure I wore a warm cap to bed at night. Alas for him, my membership in his "club" was short-lived as my hair gradually grew back.:)

Kelly

lindaprocopio said:

"Mama, it's Ho Ho".
One of the Christmases I was taxol bald (2010??), I also had very low immunity and the flu was going around. I was trying to get some cookies baked and ran out of flour, and had to make a fast grocery store visit. I was feeling sorry for myself a little because my grandkids had the flu and their parents were 'protecting me' by keeping them away, and I'd NEVER baked Christmas cookies alone without some little people helping out.

I put on a white surgical mask and grabbed a red Santa hat from the top of the tree decorations box to cover my bald head. As I pushed my cart through the aisles, a little toddler in a pasing cart pointed at me. and said "Mama, it's Ho Ho" (Santa). In her little mind, the red hat and white 'beard' of my surgical mask was enough for her to make that leap of faith. HA! As thin and gaunt as I was, surely I looked more like Jack Skullinton & the 'Nightmare Before Christmas' than fat and jolly Santa! HA! But it made my day.

Things people say...
I had a woman say to me once, we never understand God's will dear...

I recounted with, yeah or apparently his sense of humor...

I mean really????

Laurie

p.s. although usually not that sensitive a person, my husband called me baldy one day and THAT really pissed me off. After that for a long time, I never went hatless, scarfless or wigless at home. Seems like such a long time ago now, but at the time I guess a compliment would have meant alot

JoWin615 said:

Funny story
I must start by saying I was NOT a beautiful bald woman. My ears stick out, and my scalp has several raised, brown, mole-like places on it. U.G.L.Y. So I wore caps and scarves. One very windy day in May (when I was completely bald), I went for a walk with my 6-year-old granddaughter. My cap blew off. The sight of me scrambling to catch the cap before it fell into the nearby pond made her burst into hysterical laughter. Now when we are trying to get a nice smile from her for photos, all we have to say is "Remember when Nana's cap blew off...?". It works every time!

What I never expected to hear: My son and my ex-husband are both completely bald. My daughter had breast cancer in 2006 and was completely bald during her treatment. And now me. When I saw my ex-husband recently, he said "Welcome to the club. Who would have thought that all four of us would, at one time or another, be bald?" Yeah. Who would have thought?

Okay, let me try again...
JoWin, your post did spark my memory of SOMETHING funny...

Traveling to work takes me down three distinct highways....One night on the way home from work, with the window blowing and me resting my eyes (no, I was NOT driving), a strong gust of wind came through the car and my wig blew out the window on the Mass Turnpike....

YES...I made my husband get off the road and go get it....luckily we were in the far right lane next to the break down lane....my boys (ages 7 and 8 thought that was the funniest thing that had ever happened to them)

Then in June while trying to ditch the wig for my own locks (which really came back a crappy color and weird texture)I was scouring for a natural hair color in CVS. My friend and I were scouring the aisle for the right brand and color most next to the wig. Finally, I got so annoyed it was taking so long, I just whipped the wig off my head to compare it to the color on the box. Imagine the expression on the CVS stockboy's face when he saw me do that....LOL Sometimes you just have to play with people...ya know?

Keep these stories coming....Linda, the image of you in the Red Santa hat and surgical mask is priceless...

Laurie

kikz said:

This is not as funny
as it is ironic. I have had a weight problem (as a previous poster mentioned) since I was about eight. I have fought the battle all my life and of course all my doctors have advised me to lose weight. So it was kind of weird that while going through chemo I had everyone trying to shove food down my throat. I was given carte blanche to eat high fat foods such as mashed potatoes, avocados, pudding and milk shakes but again the irony that I didn't want any of it.

I also come from a family where most of the men lose their hair. With my head shaved and fat face from steroids, I was told I looked like my uncle Florence. My mom loved my bald head and called me her mannequin.

Karen

It made me laugh and set the scene
Lying there having been told that yes, there was a spread to the bladder. the nurse of all people told me that I was lucky as not everyone could get their things in order. Made me laugh and I thought "right lady" [the actual thoughts weren't as ladylike and not for publication!]
My attitude has remained the same since so I guess I have to thank her?!

carolyn45 said:

Health food nut--NOT!
I've always been quite slim (5'5", 110 pounds). My Mom was a health food nut before her time, so we only had desserts on birthdays and major holidays. We lived in southern California in the good old days and grew most of our own fruit and veggies. Junk food, even GOOD quality pastries, cookies, and pies, never appealed to me. A few bites of dessert with a special meal was it. Then chemo...and NO desire to eat. I was surprised how I panicked at the idea of of losing weight. Nothing sounded good to eat...except sweets. I fell in love with lemon meringue pie, rich buttery pastries, lemon chiffon cake with lemon glaze, and Hagen Daz ice cream. My oncologist was thrilled. I gained 5 pounds! My husband was lovingly calling me his little butterball. A couple of weeks after chemo ended, my usual food preferences returned, and I'm back to my usual weight.

I never thought I would here
I never thought I would here someone say that I am the healthiest sick person they know. This being said because I was always one that would eat salads, limited sweets and exercise on a regular basis. Oh well! Even though I still eat good my new motto is "Fronk it" If I want some cake, I am eating some cake. :=) it's working rather well.

txtrisha55 said:

Mine is not hearing things as it is the looks.
Mine has always been the looks especially of the children. One will see me bald and stare, then run to go get their brothers, sisters or friends to come and stare at me too. They do not say anything to me but they talk to each other and/or laugh. Their parents do not see them doing this or I am sure they would say something to them. I just stare back and smile. trish

Trish,
That is very true.
Trish,
That is very true. I had many instances where that happened. I heard one little kid say to there mom, "Mom, why is that lady bald" They have to explain it to them. I also had kids just give me the stare. All you can do is just smile back to them. Sometimes when I smiled they would get a scared face. lol! oh well

poopergirl14052 said:

Kids do say the funniest things
my 7 year old grandson asked me "so how does a wig work Grandma?" I told hime you wear it like a hat si I pulled my wig off and put it back on, the look on his little face was priceless. He just shrugged his shoulders and kissed me on the cheek and left...good memories for such a devastating illness...val

drum
My grandson is 3 and used my bald head as a drum. When my hair grew a little throughout chemo he would rumb the little hair and then say oh, yugy, that's disgusting. I just wonder where he is getting these big words. Love him any way. trish

jbeans888 said:

I never thought I would here
I never thought I would here someone say that I am the healthiest sick person they know. This being said because I was always one that would eat salads, limited sweets and exercise on a regular basis. Oh well! Even though I still eat good my new motto is "Fronk it" If I want some cake, I am eating some cake. :=) it's working rather well.

I got that, too. You are
I got that, too. You are "The healthiest sickest person I know!" Lol, somedays it was funny. Other days it frustrated me.