Can't seem to calm down after chemo teaching today
Comments
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Chris
The 1st time I cried after diagnosis was the day I asked my mom to come over for my 1st chemo day, thats when it hit that I would have to have chemo. You'll see that when you have chemo that the meds they give you to counteract the nausea makes it easier to get through. I only had to take the nausea pills 2 times, as I tolerated it well. Drink plenty of water to flush it out. The 96 hours will be over before you know it. My biggest issue was I would forget the pump was there and get up and have it pull on me. Fortunately, it didn't come out of the port. Please post while your going through it, you will also see people at the chemo place and you'll see that they are eating, drinking, reading, just like usual. When I was at the chemo place there was a young man about 18, and older patients in their 80s. I thought if they can do this so can I. You will be fine and there are so many on this site who have gone through the treatment and are cured. I'm sure you will be one of them. I wish you well. Lori0 -
Hi Chris--
I'm sorry your emotions overwhelmed you today, but when one has to sit down and talk to a nurse about the chemo they're going to be receiving, I guess reality kicks in. As Lori has said, there are SO many people going through chemo, but I'm sure they all felt exactly like you do, so please don't feel alone. We are all here for you and you have a great sister and mom who are in your corner. You will be well-cared for and you will get through this, as so many of us have. It really is going to be okay!0 -
We all have that point where
We all have that point where it hits us. We have cancer and we are going to have chemotherapy and radiation. It is real. And all the warnings about all the scary side effects. And all the other horror stories. As I told you before I am 3 weeks out from chemotherapy and radiation and I feel so much better mentally as well as physically. I am sure that is not much help now, but maybe later it will be. I will not know how successful the treatment has been til the end of January. So now I am worried about THAT! (the three weeks after treatment weren't so great. Week four better every day)
I don't think anyone is stronger just handle things differently. And a MOM? You are her BABY! Moms lift cars off their babies! Just tell her you love her and you will feed her strength and peacefulness and that is a gift to a Mom.
My Mom is 79 and has kidney cancer. I was her caregiver until this diagnosis of anal cancer. (my brother has taken over). She gives ME pep talks, tells me I have so much to live for, stay home and rest, etc. And reminds me I am HER baby! Who's stronger? Who knows, who cares? We comfort each other.... Good luck and if you need to talk the people here are awesome. I have asked some strange question! Always got an answer. Bless you and yours....Lori0 -
Dear Chris
I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. I think we all understand the initial, overwhelming waves of fear and disbelief that you are experiencing. It is horrible and so lonely. Because I have worked in a pediatric oncology hospital for 15+ years, I have seen thousands of children (even infants) get chemo. Yes, they feel bad and get sick; but, the side effects are treated with a fair amount of success. Eventually they are happy and well again. The chemo we receive is fairly light duty compared to chemo for other cancers.
Take heart – you can get through this! I completed treatment July 26 of this year. I was scared, sad, lonely (even with a great family around me), horribly fatigued and depressed. I feel very good now and was back to work in late August. I would encourage you to concentrate on your blessings, and all the positives in your life - such as your wonderful, caring sister and loving mom. I have never leaned so much on my faith in God as I did throughout treatment. I prayed ALL the time, thought about how bad Job had it (and his restoration), and Psalm 23. You can and WILL get through this. You will get well. You will get back to a new normal – AND – you will have better perspective, more compassion, increased appreciation for each day and greatly increased faith. Its funny how God can make something beautiful out of something so ugly. – Love M.0 -
LorikatLorikat said:We all have that point where
We all have that point where it hits us. We have cancer and we are going to have chemotherapy and radiation. It is real. And all the warnings about all the scary side effects. And all the other horror stories. As I told you before I am 3 weeks out from chemotherapy and radiation and I feel so much better mentally as well as physically. I am sure that is not much help now, but maybe later it will be. I will not know how successful the treatment has been til the end of January. So now I am worried about THAT! (the three weeks after treatment weren't so great. Week four better every day)
I don't think anyone is stronger just handle things differently. And a MOM? You are her BABY! Moms lift cars off their babies! Just tell her you love her and you will feed her strength and peacefulness and that is a gift to a Mom.
My Mom is 79 and has kidney cancer. I was her caregiver until this diagnosis of anal cancer. (my brother has taken over). She gives ME pep talks, tells me I have so much to live for, stay home and rest, etc. And reminds me I am HER baby! Who's stronger? Who knows, who cares? We comfort each other.... Good luck and if you need to talk the people here are awesome. I have asked some strange question! Always got an answer. Bless you and yours....Lori
I LOVE what you said in your middle paragraph! SO true and SO well-stated!!
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Z Loriz said:Chris
The 1st time I cried after diagnosis was the day I asked my mom to come over for my 1st chemo day, thats when it hit that I would have to have chemo. You'll see that when you have chemo that the meds they give you to counteract the nausea makes it easier to get through. I only had to take the nausea pills 2 times, as I tolerated it well. Drink plenty of water to flush it out. The 96 hours will be over before you know it. My biggest issue was I would forget the pump was there and get up and have it pull on me. Fortunately, it didn't come out of the port. Please post while your going through it, you will also see people at the chemo place and you'll see that they are eating, drinking, reading, just like usual. When I was at the chemo place there was a young man about 18, and older patients in their 80s. I thought if they can do this so can I. You will be fine and there are so many on this site who have gone through the treatment and are cured. I'm sure you will be one of them. I wish you well. Lori
thank you for taking the time to help me and give me information0 -
mp327mp327 said:Hi Chris--
I'm sorry your emotions overwhelmed you today, but when one has to sit down and talk to a nurse about the chemo they're going to be receiving, I guess reality kicks in. As Lori has said, there are SO many people going through chemo, but I'm sure they all felt exactly like you do, so please don't feel alone. We are all here for you and you have a great sister and mom who are in your corner. You will be well-cared for and you will get through this, as so many of us have. It really is going to be okay!
thank you very much i really appreciate it0 -
LorikatLorikat said:We all have that point where
We all have that point where it hits us. We have cancer and we are going to have chemotherapy and radiation. It is real. And all the warnings about all the scary side effects. And all the other horror stories. As I told you before I am 3 weeks out from chemotherapy and radiation and I feel so much better mentally as well as physically. I am sure that is not much help now, but maybe later it will be. I will not know how successful the treatment has been til the end of January. So now I am worried about THAT! (the three weeks after treatment weren't so great. Week four better every day)
I don't think anyone is stronger just handle things differently. And a MOM? You are her BABY! Moms lift cars off their babies! Just tell her you love her and you will feed her strength and peacefulness and that is a gift to a Mom.
My Mom is 79 and has kidney cancer. I was her caregiver until this diagnosis of anal cancer. (my brother has taken over). She gives ME pep talks, tells me I have so much to live for, stay home and rest, etc. And reminds me I am HER baby! Who's stronger? Who knows, who cares? We comfort each other.... Good luck and if you need to talk the people here are awesome. I have asked some strange question! Always got an answer. Bless you and yours....Lori
Your message to me is very comforting thank you. I just need to stop being so scared. One thing i dont understand which i should have asked today is why is the port put up near the collar bone and instead just put down near the pelvis/bowel or even stomach area? I wonder why the chemo has to travel from the top of the body to the bottom.0 -
Memphis Mary49Memphis Mary 49 said:Dear Chris
I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. I think we all understand the initial, overwhelming waves of fear and disbelief that you are experiencing. It is horrible and so lonely. Because I have worked in a pediatric oncology hospital for 15+ years, I have seen thousands of children (even infants) get chemo. Yes, they feel bad and get sick; but, the side effects are treated with a fair amount of success. Eventually they are happy and well again. The chemo we receive is fairly light duty compared to chemo for other cancers.
Take heart – you can get through this! I completed treatment July 26 of this year. I was scared, sad, lonely (even with a great family around me), horribly fatigued and depressed. I feel very good now and was back to work in late August. I would encourage you to concentrate on your blessings, and all the positives in your life - such as your wonderful, caring sister and loving mom. I have never leaned so much on my faith in God as I did throughout treatment. I prayed ALL the time, thought about how bad Job had it (and his restoration), and Psalm 23. You can and WILL get through this. You will get well. You will get back to a new normal – AND – you will have better perspective, more compassion, increased appreciation for each day and greatly increased faith. Its funny how God can make something beautiful out of something so ugly. – Love M.
Thank you so much for your post to me. I know everything you say is true and I am praying a lot! I just need to stop being so weak and be strong like my sister and mum.0 -
Strength
Chris ~ I think tears are a part of the emotional journey in healing . . .and for you at this point, you're still coming to terms with your diagnosis. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I could be in a room full of my best friends and family about this time last year (right before treatment started) and feel overwhelmingly alone . . .but for me, now in hindsight, I see that was God's way of preparing me for rebuilding my relationship with Him/Her. And that's the best of the many gifts having this disease brought me.
Learning calming/healing breathing and postures may be of help to you as you start your treatment. I found reflexology and massage therapy helped me tremendously.
You don't have to be strong, Chris. It's not expected of you! Lean on your friends and your faith.
With love,
Angela0 -
Angela_HAngela_K said:Strength
Chris ~ I think tears are a part of the emotional journey in healing . . .and for you at this point, you're still coming to terms with your diagnosis. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I could be in a room full of my best friends and family about this time last year (right before treatment started) and feel overwhelmingly alone . . .but for me, now in hindsight, I see that was God's way of preparing me for rebuilding my relationship with Him/Her. And that's the best of the many gifts having this disease brought me.
Learning calming/healing breathing and postures may be of help to you as you start your treatment. I found reflexology and massage therapy helped me tremendously.
You don't have to be strong, Chris. It's not expected of you! Lean on your friends and your faith.
With love,
Angela
Thank you Angela. You and everybody else on here are helping me more than I can say. You guys are all so awesome.
xo0 -
Port QuestionChris Ptown said:Memphis Mary49
Thank you so much for your post to me. I know everything you say is true and I am praying a lot! I just need to stop being so weak and be strong like my sister and mum.
Chris, the port is kind of like a little well with a covering on it - so to speak. It has a hollow tube (catheter) coming out of the side of it that is threaded through your blood vessel to your large vein that feeds into your heart. The chemotherapy is given through this port and goes into your blood stream. The medicine itself is very specific in targeting how the cancer cells grow - or more importantly - how the cancer cells die. Does this help answer your question? I've been a nurse for a long time. I don't have all the answers on everything, but do have a general understanding of many things. - Mary0 -
Port Question MaryMemphis Mary 49 said:Port Question
Chris, the port is kind of like a little well with a covering on it - so to speak. It has a hollow tube (catheter) coming out of the side of it that is threaded through your blood vessel to your large vein that feeds into your heart. The chemotherapy is given through this port and goes into your blood stream. The medicine itself is very specific in targeting how the cancer cells grow - or more importantly - how the cancer cells die. Does this help answer your question? I've been a nurse for a long time. I don't have all the answers on everything, but do have a general understanding of many things. - Mary
Mary so the chemo doesn't go to your heart but it goes everywhere else? I should have asked more questions today but I didn't. My sister wrote so much down as usual. I am so lucky to have her. The chemo teacher/doctor wrote a prescription for Avitan (think how it is spelled) and my sister thinks i should go to the drugstore with her and get it so it might help my anxiety. Not sure if it will. Reading yours and everyone else's post is certainly comforting to me. Can't thank you and everybody else enough.0 -
The clear liquidChris Ptown said:Port Question Mary
Mary so the chemo doesn't go to your heart but it goes everywhere else? I should have asked more questions today but I didn't. My sister wrote so much down as usual. I am so lucky to have her. The chemo teacher/doctor wrote a prescription for Avitan (think how it is spelled) and my sister thinks i should go to the drugstore with her and get it so it might help my anxiety. Not sure if it will. Reading yours and everyone else's post is certainly comforting to me. Can't thank you and everybody else enough.
The clear liquid chemotherapy does go into your heart. All of the blood in your body circulates through your heart. The heart pumps the blood throughout your body, as it does, it carries the medicine with it and it goes to all the tissues in your body - including the tumor.
I agree with your sister that you should get the ativan. It will help you relax. It should not make you sleepy, but will help you be calm.
Keep asking questions. Chances are good that this group has the answer to almost all of them. - Mary0 -
ActivanChris Ptown said:Angela_H
Thank you Angela. You and everybody else on here are helping me more than I can say. You guys are all so awesome.
xo
I have found this a wonderful tool. I take one before my tests and it makes it easier on me mentally.
I am so glad that you are so expressive Chris. I didn't express any feelings until months after my treatment was completed. I treasure this site and the people here, who allow us to express ourselves so freely. Once you start treatment it's almost a relief, because tx is not as bad as we build it up to be in our minds. You can do this and we will be with you the whole way. By allowing us to be there for you, you are helping us feel valuable,and then you will be here to support the next person.
Try to do something fun each day now, u will have fresh memories of good times to help you thru the hard ones.
How is Johnny?0 -
Hi Chris--Chris Ptown said:Angela_H
Thank you Angela. You and everybody else on here are helping me more than I can say. You guys are all so awesome.
xo
I would definitely recommend filling the prescription for the Ativan. It helped me relax, which was a tremendous help to me in getting through treatment. Everyone has given you great advice and we do it because we care. You WILL get through this!0 -
Hi Chrismp327 said:Hi Chris--
I would definitely recommend filling the prescription for the Ativan. It helped me relax, which was a tremendous help to me in getting through treatment. Everyone has given you great advice and we do it because we care. You WILL get through this!
Just want to second (or third) the recommendation to start taking the Ativan. I never took anything like it before, but upon diagnosis really needed it. Actually it was my mom who kind of pushed it. And she was right. It just takes the edge off things and gives you a little bit of relief from the stress and worry.
LOVE the comments about moms and dads in this thread - so true, we are their babies whether we're 2 or 62. My mom was so very supportive, and continues to be, despite her own battle with severe arthritis.
Take care Chris - don't worry about not feeling brave - you ARE even if you don't feel that way right now.0 -
PhoebesnowPhoebesnow said:Activan
I have found this a wonderful tool. I take one before my tests and it makes it easier on me mentally.
I am so glad that you are so expressive Chris. I didn't express any feelings until months after my treatment was completed. I treasure this site and the people here, who allow us to express ourselves so freely. Once you start treatment it's almost a relief, because tx is not as bad as we build it up to be in our minds. You can do this and we will be with you the whole way. By allowing us to be there for you, you are helping us feel valuable,and then you will be here to support the next person.
Try to do something fun each day now, u will have fresh memories of good times to help you thru the hard ones.
How is Johnny?
Johnny is doing OK thanks. He is staying here with my sister and brother in law's two big Airedales so he is definitely the little guy. Thanks for your message and support its so important to me. I am very lucky to have all of you and wish I could give each one of you a big hug.0 -
mp327mp327 said:Hi Chris--
I would definitely recommend filling the prescription for the Ativan. It helped me relax, which was a tremendous help to me in getting through treatment. Everyone has given you great advice and we do it because we care. You WILL get through this!
thank you hugs0 -
RoseCRoseC said:Hi Chris
Just want to second (or third) the recommendation to start taking the Ativan. I never took anything like it before, but upon diagnosis really needed it. Actually it was my mom who kind of pushed it. And she was right. It just takes the edge off things and gives you a little bit of relief from the stress and worry.
LOVE the comments about moms and dads in this thread - so true, we are their babies whether we're 2 or 62. My mom was so very supportive, and continues to be, despite her own battle with severe arthritis.
Take care Chris - don't worry about not feeling brave - you ARE even if you don't feel that way right now.
thank you so much! i think today when the chemo lady was talking to me and my sister and she talked about the purple chemo that is given on the first day and the first day of the last week it just made me really nervous...when she went through side effects she went through rare ones like heart attack and causing other cancer and it just scared me so much...my PET scan showed i have borderline enlarged heart so today was very scary for me...i just want the chemo to work right I guess is what i am saying
thanks again Rose
hugs0
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