Stuff I don't need to hear

Tethys41 said:

I apologize
My post was meant to be inspirational, not demeaning. Despite the fact that I have learned to manage my worry and my stress, it may come as a shock that I have an IQ considerabley higher than 50. For your consideration, I recommend the book "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" (The Life 101 Series) by Peter McWilliams

Tethys41
I'm sorry if you thought I was referring to you re the IQ of 50. Never!! You're obviously incredibly intelligent and have a huge amount of valuable knowledge to share. I was simply validating that we ALL have to acknowledge the negative feelings if they're there. Whether we focus on them all day or take them to bed with us at night or manage to find our way to peace is an individual and very personal matter. I picked up (and it could just be me) a "flavor" in your post that indicated we should or could be where you are if we simply decided not to worry, as you did, and hauled ourselves up by our bootstraps. That isn't the way it works for some of us. Hence the analogy of the rosebud. It IS inspiring that you have been able to get to a place of such peace and acceptance. I believe I'm there, too. My "stuff" hit AFTER the surgeries and chemos, and it has been a profound and beautiful healing journey. I needed to worry and fear and despair in order to find what is deeper than those very powerful emotions. I felt that LaundryQueen might be in the midst of a similar journey.

kikz said:

It is hard to keep cancer off my mind,
but I don't talk about it all the time. I can't stop the thoughts but I don't have to give them a voice. I am sure all of you ladies would love to have a day, an hour or even a minute without thinking about it. We don't have that luxury. I try not to talk about it much because I understand that the people in my life want to believe it is gone forever. Like Val said, we are not obsessing about it but it is a constant in our lives. It is our reality. The people around us have no idea how tough we all are. I have always been a worrywart and I still can't believe how I have been able to process this scary information and keep a smile on my face and an upbeat attitude. I have my moments as I am sure you all do but I will not let cancer or anything else keep me down.

It is too bad your sister and others in all of our lives cannot appreciate the inner strength we all have. That is why I love this board and the support and love that comes from all my teal sisters.

Karen

It is hard to keep it off your mind
Ask God every night how to get this cancer off my mind--cry just about everyday thinking about it & how to move on--just had my last chemo treatment--now I am scared to death. Scared it will come back & have to go thru everything again--just the thought of another surgery or chemo makes me sick thinking about it--have been thru so much already--just want my life back --want to have the interests as I did before--something besides sitting in this house, waiting & wandering about this dumb cancer. Nobody else can understand what we are going thru, they think it is easy to just move on & say there will be a day when you will forget & that everything is gonna be fine. Others act as though you have been handed a death sentence & even though there are days you feel like you have,but I know I will be a survivor, just don't need others treating as though I won't be. Looking for strength & suggestions on how to move on & get back to living.

leesag said:

Vicarious Chemo
Ask her if the "vicarious chemo" for the "vicarious cancer" is making her "vicariously sick and bald."

Oy, some people!

Hugs,

Leesa

my dear Tethy
I know were you are coming from and I did't think at all your post was demeaning. You are a great inspiration to me and you know a lot by reading and research. So, no appology needed,,but thank you ...val

Treating Cancer as a common cold
People in my life were very supportive of me while going through the chemo due to OVCA. It is now like they don't want to talk about it. I feel as if they believe it was just a 'common cold', and now that I am NED...no big deal. I don't want people to make a big fuss about it, but it would be nice to discuss my fears and concerns when I have them. I try not to talk about it because I feel as if people tune me out, roll their eyes, or have the attitude..."She is pulling the cancer card." Frustrating. I will be in my first support group starting in November. I can hardly wait. This site has been wonderful too.

Mwee said:

just come here
I hope your support group will be helpful. A lot of us have expressed being frustrated that the ones closest to us in our lives, want to "forget" about us having cancer once the initial crisis is past. I wish we had the luxury of being able to forget.
(((HUGS))) Maria

I think it's natural to be
I think it's natural to be "obsessed" about. It's a major life changing thing and if it happened to them they would feel the same way. Just come here to vent we all understand how you feel. If she doesn't want to hear it then tell her don't come around. You need as many positive vibes as posibble.