New to the board! Hello :)

Lianne1234
Lianne1234 Member Posts: 3
edited October 2011 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi everyone!

Since my diagnosis, I think I have been moving non-stop. I am 25, and this past spring a 14x14x14cm mass was found on my left ovary. It was actually a miracle. I had no symptoms, but went to the doctor to have a IUD placed before I went abroad to visit my (now ex) boyfriend, and that is how they found the mass! They thought the mass was benign, so I actually went abroad for two months and thad the mass removed when I returned. During surgery, they realized it was a borderline tumor. The final pathology revealed that a small portion of the mass was cancerous. After meeting with several doctors, and consulting in depth with one at Dana Farber, I decided not to have a hysterectomy. I had another surgery to remove the left ovary, left fallopian tube, appendix, omentum, and a few small biopsies. All came back negative, and we proceded with chemotherapy. So far, I have had 4 treatments of Carboplatin and Taxol, two left to go!

I had been living in Los Angelas, about to move to Florida to start my Ph.D. When I first I was diagnosed, I was almost more devastated by the thought of deferring my move. I had so many exciting plans, and was excited to meet new friends and try out this new part of my life. With my parents support, I decided to make the move after the second treatment. I did not start my program, but I am just here meeting people and enjoying life! It was a great decision, and I think has helped my spirits tremendously.

Unfortunately, I was maybe doing too much. Ten days after my last treatment, I got a fever and needed to go to the ER. Between that, and a friends comment that my IUD could cause future ovarian cysts (unconfirmed by my doctor), there is now a ripple in my perviously steady confidence. I am so scared I made the wrong decision in not having a hysterectomy. I'm scared that someday I will have a family and the disease will come back. I'm scared for my family and they pain it will cause them. There is so much I want to do in my life. I don't discuss my fears with my family, although I know I should. I remember how sad they were when I told them the diagnosis, and I know my confidence gave them confidence and peace. I wish I had my confidence back, but I don't know how to find it.

Any advice would be appreciated,

Lianne

p.s. To anyone going through treatment at this moment, I wish you a speedy passing symptoms and a quick and full recovery!

Comments

  • Robkel7
    Robkel7 Member Posts: 68
    Hi Lianne....
    Sorry we have to meet this way. Not sure what to say except that perhaps you should consult with a few more doctors regarding the idea of doing the hysterectomy. If that will make you more comfortable for your future......I know having children is really important to many people, but your health has to come first or you would not be much good to them anyway. How does your family feel about this topic? Perhaps you should broach it with them as well, if you have not. Hugs to you.
    Robin
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,379 Member
    It's never easy
    Lianne,
    Sorry you are going through this. First, the fever you got probably did you a world of good, and, in fact, is a good sign. There are different therapies that use hyperthermia to treat cancer. In that your body is still able to muster up a fever, that is an indication your immune system is still functioning, which often is not the case following chemo.

    I know the fears you speak of all too well. What I have learned is that cancer is a symptom of a body in disfunction. There are a number of lifestyle changes you can make that will make your body an undesireable place for cancer. No doubt stress is an issue for you, and not a good thing for keeping cancer away. If your headed down the PhD path, you are certainly able to do research, and that is something that will help you immensely in learning what you can do to keep healthy. The book "Anti-Cancer" is a good start. Seeing a naturopath who works with cancer patients is another great resource.

    Take care, your confidence will return.
  • Lianne1234
    Lianne1234 Member Posts: 3
    Robkel7 said:

    Hi Lianne....
    Sorry we have to meet this way. Not sure what to say except that perhaps you should consult with a few more doctors regarding the idea of doing the hysterectomy. If that will make you more comfortable for your future......I know having children is really important to many people, but your health has to come first or you would not be much good to them anyway. How does your family feel about this topic? Perhaps you should broach it with them as well, if you have not. Hugs to you.
    Robin

    Thank you for the thoughts
    Thank you for the thoughts Robin! I have discussed my decision with my family, and they are on board. A Dr. from UCLA had also said it was an option, I forgot that until now, so I that is a good sign. Writing that post was actually very therapeutic and helped wash some of those feelings away. Thanks for the hugs!
    Lianne
  • Lianne1234
    Lianne1234 Member Posts: 3
    Tethys41 said:

    It's never easy
    Lianne,
    Sorry you are going through this. First, the fever you got probably did you a world of good, and, in fact, is a good sign. There are different therapies that use hyperthermia to treat cancer. In that your body is still able to muster up a fever, that is an indication your immune system is still functioning, which often is not the case following chemo.

    I know the fears you speak of all too well. What I have learned is that cancer is a symptom of a body in disfunction. There are a number of lifestyle changes you can make that will make your body an undesireable place for cancer. No doubt stress is an issue for you, and not a good thing for keeping cancer away. If your headed down the PhD path, you are certainly able to do research, and that is something that will help you immensely in learning what you can do to keep healthy. The book "Anti-Cancer" is a good start. Seeing a naturopath who works with cancer patients is another great resource.

    Take care, your confidence will return.

    Hi Tethys,
    Thank you for

    Hi Tethys,

    Thank you for your optimism. Immediately after the diagnosis I became a vegan, and looked into a lot of alternative options (chinese medicine/meditation, macrobiotics). I started to give up on these options as life got in the way. Maybe I should make more time for them! As a start, I meditated tonight for the first time in months :)

    Lianne
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    I think confidence comes
    I think confidence comes over time. I remember finishing my 6th chemo and thinking what now?! I was happy and scared all at the same time. Just keep living your life that's all you we can do. The possibility of a recurrence scares us all, but over time I have found that we can't control it, but we can control the thongs we do. For instance, I don't know if the cancer will come back, but I do know I am going to the FL Keys for Christmas:-), just as you know you are going to get your PH.D this is a great board I hope you find it helpful.

    By the way I also live in FL
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    Welcome, Lianne
    The fears and search for your confidence sound all too familiar to your Teal sisters here on the board. Congrats on getting through all you have so far and only having 2 more infusions to go! Most of us were diagnosed by "accidents of fate" and owe our existances on IUDs, hernias, gall bladders, etc. If it helps at all, you will be closely monitored after you infusions are finished. Many of us find it so much easier to discuss our fears to the members on this board vs. our families. I, for one, find myself going into caretaker mode with my loved ones. You have come to the right place... no question or fear is taboo and I predict that before long you will be "paying it forward" to newbies and long time teal warriors alike.
    (((HUGS))) Maria