One yr ago
Comments
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Hi Paul
Very understandable that you feel like you do. We all suffer for depression now and then, if fact I was having an attack of it this morning before coming to work, just plain feeling like crap and see that little black cloud hanging over me. I am happy to see you are able to get back to the things you love to do and are able to move forward in life. As for the winter time I too don’t like cold weather but it is just a little 3 months part of live that I have to live with in order to get to spring time.
Wishing you well
Hondo0 -
depression
My husband finished treatment mid August. Recovery is snail pace and he is so discouraged because he seems to have started to go backwards this last two weeks. I think he is depressed but he won't admit it. I suffer from clinical depression and take Effexor everyday. I still get down occasionally and I am not the patient. I think you are doing amazingly well considering what you have been through. You are probably always going to get down every now and then, part of the new normal. Just talking about it will help. We are here at CSN to listen when you feel down. Oh, as for the Winter months. Here is Florida we get Winter too (no smart remarks from you snowbirds)
and it can get us down. Getting outside in fresh air for a few minutes in nature is a sure fire way to lift the spirits. Blessings.
Debbie0 -
I hope it's normaljim and i said:depression
My husband finished treatment mid August. Recovery is snail pace and he is so discouraged because he seems to have started to go backwards this last two weeks. I think he is depressed but he won't admit it. I suffer from clinical depression and take Effexor everyday. I still get down occasionally and I am not the patient. I think you are doing amazingly well considering what you have been through. You are probably always going to get down every now and then, part of the new normal. Just talking about it will help. We are here at CSN to listen when you feel down. Oh, as for the Winter months. Here is Florida we get Winter too (no smart remarks from you snowbirds) and it can get us down. Getting outside in fresh air for a few minutes in nature is a sure fire way to lift the spirits. Blessings.
Debbie
and maybe the veterans could chime in but I'm just past the 2 year point and still have bouts of depression set in. I think you and I are still in the post traumatic disorder stage. I don't think there is much more you can do as it seems you are getting back to life as much as possible. Time and clean scans will most likely be of the greatest benefit. Hang in there.0 -
Of course we all get depressedratface said:I hope it's normal
and maybe the veterans could chime in but I'm just past the 2 year point and still have bouts of depression set in. I think you and I are still in the post traumatic disorder stage. I don't think there is much more you can do as it seems you are getting back to life as much as possible. Time and clean scans will most likely be of the greatest benefit. Hang in there.
I guess I'm a veteran and after all these years I still get depressed, who wouldn't. I think it would have been much worse right after treatments but to be honest I simply could not let it happen; single dad with two teenaged sons. Now 15 years later and I still have that stupid water bottle (need to find a good name for my bottle), my voice sucks, had to get a tube however I am still vertical and on this side of the dirt.
Take your meds, talk to the doctors, vent here on this board but do as you are and get involved. The past 15 years have been a complete blessing and I'm thankful for them and I look forward to my thirsty, pegged and hoarse self being here for another 15 years at least.
As time goes on you will stop associating winter with the pain and the new normal will allow you to press on.
Denny
Really shouldn't hate my bottle because it does allow me to function-that sounds like an AA candidate :>)0 -
cant stop worrying
Hi I am new to the site and from the UK had all the chemo and RT and tried to stay strong through that but have found since I am recovering I worry all the time I am going for my second follow up tomorrow and cant stop crying as I am so worried that things will go wrong ..its on my mind all the time and wearing me down ...I got married in Jan 2011 to my Canadian husband planned to move to Canada when i was told that i had cancer of the right tonsil base of the toungue and back pallette ..my husband had to return to Canada but did come back to help me through my treatment i was in hospital for 10 weeks ...he has now returned and trying to get things together to move to the UK and i feel so lost without him he was here for my last follow up appointment and that helped but now i feel i am going to pieces and find it hard to move on past my treatment .
love Jan0 -
In the airJan King said:cant stop worrying
Hi I am new to the site and from the UK had all the chemo and RT and tried to stay strong through that but have found since I am recovering I worry all the time I am going for my second follow up tomorrow and cant stop crying as I am so worried that things will go wrong ..its on my mind all the time and wearing me down ...I got married in Jan 2011 to my Canadian husband planned to move to Canada when i was told that i had cancer of the right tonsil base of the toungue and back pallette ..my husband had to return to Canada but did come back to help me through my treatment i was in hospital for 10 weeks ...he has now returned and trying to get things together to move to the UK and i feel so lost without him he was here for my last follow up appointment and that helped but now i feel i am going to pieces and find it hard to move on past my treatment .
love Jan
Something must be in the air because I have been a very weepy emotional caregiver for the last few days. Sooo...what to do? Breathe. Try to be strong and positive. List all of the things we have to be thankful for. Read an inciteful book. Talk to the ones we can be real with. Take a walk. Hmm...just throwing out some ideas!
Hope you are feeling better soon!0 -
It's so hard sometimes
It's so hard sometimes because I deal with a few people in my life that do not believe in depression or PTSD. I struggled with clinical depression and anxiety even before I got cancer, and some people just do not understand! They think it's just something you are making up or can just "snap out of it".
I know I will probably never lose the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop between having had cancer and always having FA. It sucks. It can be very nerve wracking. There are days when I feel like my life is an hourglass and all the sand is almost gone.
I am glad I have less days, than more days when I feel all these things.0 -
One year ago
Paul,
We are all different in many ways but I really feel that what we have gone thru is a life altering event of such magnitude that it is bound to change us. I also think we have gone thru treatment putting one foot in front of the other and trying to just stay alive.
After time has passed our brains somehow go WOW; this was some heavy duty stuff.
I am coming up on a year and mine hasn't been depression but I have been uber emotional and also had a touch of survivor's guilt. I work as a customer service/receptionist at our local newspaper and a lady came in to put in an in memory ad for her daughter who died in her 30's. She has been gone about 10 years. As I took this woman's ad the tears rolled down my cheeks. I apologized for being so emotional but didn't tell her my story....
I cried after she left too. Cancer is such a beast....
Good you got yourself some help Paul.
This too shall pass, as my mom used to say
Nancy aka toughcookie0 -
BookiesJan King said:cant stop worrying
Hi I am new to the site and from the UK had all the chemo and RT and tried to stay strong through that but have found since I am recovering I worry all the time I am going for my second follow up tomorrow and cant stop crying as I am so worried that things will go wrong ..its on my mind all the time and wearing me down ...I got married in Jan 2011 to my Canadian husband planned to move to Canada when i was told that i had cancer of the right tonsil base of the toungue and back pallette ..my husband had to return to Canada but did come back to help me through my treatment i was in hospital for 10 weeks ...he has now returned and trying to get things together to move to the UK and i feel so lost without him he was here for my last follow up appointment and that helped but now i feel i am going to pieces and find it hard to move on past my treatment .
love Jan
Jan
Being afraid, concerned, worried etc etc is normal but remember this. There is not a bookie in Las Vegas who wouldn't take a bet that (with good odds) you will survive. Now the problem with husband in Canada is a different story and being depressed over that is another issue.
You will survive and have a long and fruitful life (even if it is in Canada where you will freeze your $#@^ off)
Denny0 -
My mistakeGreend said:Bookies
Jan
Being afraid, concerned, worried etc etc is normal but remember this. There is not a bookie in Las Vegas who wouldn't take a bet that (with good odds) you will survive. Now the problem with husband in Canada is a different story and being depressed over that is another issue.
You will survive and have a long and fruitful life (even if it is in Canada where you will freeze your $#@^ off)
Denny
I see he is moving to the UK....0 -
Depressionnwasen said:One year ago
Paul,
We are all different in many ways but I really feel that what we have gone thru is a life altering event of such magnitude that it is bound to change us. I also think we have gone thru treatment putting one foot in front of the other and trying to just stay alive.
After time has passed our brains somehow go WOW; this was some heavy duty stuff.
I am coming up on a year and mine hasn't been depression but I have been uber emotional and also had a touch of survivor's guilt. I work as a customer service/receptionist at our local newspaper and a lady came in to put in an in memory ad for her daughter who died in her 30's. She has been gone about 10 years. As I took this woman's ad the tears rolled down my cheeks. I apologized for being so emotional but didn't tell her my story....
I cried after she left too. Cancer is such a beast....
Good you got yourself some help Paul.
This too shall pass, as my mom used to say
Nancy aka toughcookie
Somedays it feels like that little black cloud just will not move away from me and I get depressed at every little thing that happens good or bad. I find that there is no pill I take that really helps it, it only covers it up until it breaks out again.
Today was one of those days / but I do have tomorrow to look forward too and hope for a better day
Hondo0 -
One yr agoHondo said:Depression
Somedays it feels like that little black cloud just will not move away from me and I get depressed at every little thing that happens good or bad. I find that there is no pill I take that really helps it, it only covers it up until it breaks out again.
Today was one of those days / but I do have tomorrow to look forward too and hope for a better day
Hondo
Thanks everyone for commenting,I also forgot one thing. I am super-emotional. I make my wife look like a coal miner;anyway thanks again and God Bless everyone here because you guys(and gals) understand and WE know what we have been through makes us stronger and hopefully better people. Paul0 -
One yr agoHondo said:Depression
Somedays it feels like that little black cloud just will not move away from me and I get depressed at every little thing that happens good or bad. I find that there is no pill I take that really helps it, it only covers it up until it breaks out again.
Today was one of those days / but I do have tomorrow to look forward too and hope for a better day
Hondo
Thanks everyone for commenting,I also forgot one thing. I am super-emotional. I make my wife look like a coal miner;anyway thanks again and God Bless everyone here because you guys(and gals) understand and WE know what we have been through makes us stronger and hopefully better people. Paul0 -
One yr agoHondo said:Depression
Somedays it feels like that little black cloud just will not move away from me and I get depressed at every little thing that happens good or bad. I find that there is no pill I take that really helps it, it only covers it up until it breaks out again.
Today was one of those days / but I do have tomorrow to look forward too and hope for a better day
Hondo
Thanks everyone for commenting,I also forgot one thing. I am super-emotional. I make my wife look like a coal miner;anyway thanks again and God Bless everyone here because you guys(and gals) understand and WE know what we have been through makes us stronger and hopefully better people. Paul0 -
Clinical causes ruled out?
Just in case this was missed, have you had recent blood tests for hemoglobin, iron levels, thyroid levels, and there may be some others I'm not thinking of that could have been bounced out of normal by chemorad, and that may affect your energy levels and emotional status?
Poor nutrition can also contribute to depression. Are you getting enough nutritional intake and are you back near your normal and comfortable BMI?
Most antidepressants take at least a month to work, so keep at them.
I wish I was at your stage. I start 35/3 on Wed.
I think what we go through can bring any normal person down. It would be unusual if it didn't.
"He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW" Nietzshe... see the "WHY" in front of you, your wonderful family, you are working, you are exercising, let your psychiatrist soul search the "WHY". You have survived this for a reason.
Best wishes my friend,
Roger0 -
Yr AgoRogerRN43 said:Clinical causes ruled out?
Just in case this was missed, have you had recent blood tests for hemoglobin, iron levels, thyroid levels, and there may be some others I'm not thinking of that could have been bounced out of normal by chemorad, and that may affect your energy levels and emotional status?
Poor nutrition can also contribute to depression. Are you getting enough nutritional intake and are you back near your normal and comfortable BMI?
Most antidepressants take at least a month to work, so keep at them.
I wish I was at your stage. I start 35/3 on Wed.
I think what we go through can bring any normal person down. It would be unusual if it didn't.
"He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW" Nietzshe... see the "WHY" in front of you, your wonderful family, you are working, you are exercising, let your psychiatrist soul search the "WHY". You have survived this for a reason.
Best wishes my friend,
Roger
Hi Roger
I had all my bloodwork checked and all was fine. The meds are starting kick in and I am feeling better.Thanks for your support. God bless. Paul0 -
Hi RogerRogerRN43 said:Clinical causes ruled out?
Just in case this was missed, have you had recent blood tests for hemoglobin, iron levels, thyroid levels, and there may be some others I'm not thinking of that could have been bounced out of normal by chemorad, and that may affect your energy levels and emotional status?
Poor nutrition can also contribute to depression. Are you getting enough nutritional intake and are you back near your normal and comfortable BMI?
Most antidepressants take at least a month to work, so keep at them.
I wish I was at your stage. I start 35/3 on Wed.
I think what we go through can bring any normal person down. It would be unusual if it didn't.
"He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW" Nietzshe... see the "WHY" in front of you, your wonderful family, you are working, you are exercising, let your psychiatrist soul search the "WHY". You have survived this for a reason.
Best wishes my friend,
Roger
I have a question to ask you being you are a nurse but I think it best to PM you then post it here.
Thanks
Hondo0 -
Hi Paul
My mom had a very similar story as you. Diagnosed with stage 3 tonsil cancer with 1 lymph node in October of 2010. Had surgury, neck dissection and radiation which finished in February of this year. And now here comes the different part. She didnt have chemo. She had another cancer show up on her tongue in August( was already removed this month). I understand that you are depressed sometimes, I am too, everyone is, overall the fall is known for brining up the depression in people. Be happy that you are here....it can be worse. Don't let your self get too deep into the depression mood, the more you think about it, it gets worse, keep thinking positive.0
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