Had to share
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. The he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; hi lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
-Michelle
Comments
-
So we shoud be grateful for cancer?jimwins said:Thank you
I enjoyed that and it's so unfortunately true of our society.
Thanks for reminding me about the "present"
.
Jim
I treasure each moment (even the bad ones when I want to kill the SOB) with my husband now. I did love him before, but when I thought I might not be able to spend the rest of my life with him (and it is turning out that I won't die young after all) I realized I was trying to make every day with him count more.
I find myself sounding like some kind of commercial - plan for the future but live for the moment; don't squander time but enjoy the peacefulness of having nothing to do; do what you can about the problems that face you right now and don't worry about what you can't do.
Or maybe I sound like those instructions on the shampoo bottle ("lather, rinse, repeat") - enjoy the day, be thankful for the day, sleep, wake, repeat.0 -
ShampooDrMary said:So we shoud be grateful for cancer?
I treasure each moment (even the bad ones when I want to kill the SOB) with my husband now. I did love him before, but when I thought I might not be able to spend the rest of my life with him (and it is turning out that I won't die young after all) I realized I was trying to make every day with him count more.
I find myself sounding like some kind of commercial - plan for the future but live for the moment; don't squander time but enjoy the peacefulness of having nothing to do; do what you can about the problems that face you right now and don't worry about what you can't do.
Or maybe I sound like those instructions on the shampoo bottle ("lather, rinse, repeat") - enjoy the day, be thankful for the day, sleep, wake, repeat.
DrMary,
Your shampoo bottle analogy made me smile :-) Thanks for that. And thanks to Michelle for the reminder to live in the moment.
Hugs,
Rachelle0 -
That's a good one!DrMary said:So we shoud be grateful for cancer?
I treasure each moment (even the bad ones when I want to kill the SOB) with my husband now. I did love him before, but when I thought I might not be able to spend the rest of my life with him (and it is turning out that I won't die young after all) I realized I was trying to make every day with him count more.
I find myself sounding like some kind of commercial - plan for the future but live for the moment; don't squander time but enjoy the peacefulness of having nothing to do; do what you can about the problems that face you right now and don't worry about what you can't do.
Or maybe I sound like those instructions on the shampoo bottle ("lather, rinse, repeat") - enjoy the day, be thankful for the day, sleep, wake, repeat.
Hello, and glad to connect with you! I enjoyed your post! It does get to be cliche at times hearing it in that light. The moments are treasured more and the lenses we look through become very different after cancer enters our lives. I would never think anyone would be grateful for cancer. I can say that I am grateful for what cancer has taught us, as it has taught us how to "live". Sad that it takes such trauma to bring about such a clear view of what is important to us.
-Michelle0 -
Instructions includedLilChemoSmoker said:That's a good one!
Hello, and glad to connect with you! I enjoyed your post! It does get to be cliche at times hearing it in that light. The moments are treasured more and the lenses we look through become very different after cancer enters our lives. I would never think anyone would be grateful for cancer. I can say that I am grateful for what cancer has taught us, as it has taught us how to "live". Sad that it takes such trauma to bring about such a clear view of what is important to us.
-Michelle
Okay, Dr. Mary you got my funny bone.
Thanks for making me smile/laugh.
Hugs to all...
- Jim
Here are some silly things actually included as instructions
on products:
One of the strangest:
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
I suppose that brings new meaning to the phrase
"in a timely fashion"?
<>
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.
On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.
On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.
On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.
http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/doomed0 -
Too funny!jimwins said:Instructions included
Okay, Dr. Mary you got my funny bone.
Thanks for making me smile/laugh.
Hugs to all...
- Jim
Here are some silly things actually included as instructions
on products:
One of the strangest:
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
I suppose that brings new meaning to the phrase
"in a timely fashion"?
<>
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.
On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.
On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.
On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.
http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/doomed
Jim
This is simply hilarious! THX!
-Michelle0 -
Thanks for the smiles....
What fun you are! I couldn't read this yesterday, cause I was bawling all day. Today is a new day and I'm enjoying them. Heaven only knows what tomorrow will be, but I look forward to it, nontheless.
I'm like a yoyo....up/down/up/down......and then I shampoo.......
D0 -
Ha Ha!jimwins said:Instructions included
Okay, Dr. Mary you got my funny bone.
Thanks for making me smile/laugh.
Hugs to all...
- Jim
Here are some silly things actually included as instructions
on products:
One of the strangest:
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
I suppose that brings new meaning to the phrase
"in a timely fashion"?
<>
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.
On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.
On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.
On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.
http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/doomed
Jim - This would be a good topic under Humor Post!
So funny! But unfortunately these warnings are on these products because someone did it!! Aye Yi Yi!
A few more I've heard of:
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages." On a bottle of Liquid Plummer
"Warning: May cause Drowsiness" On a bottle of sleeping pills0 -
So true!catwink22 said:Ha Ha!
Jim - This would be a good topic under Humor Post!
So funny! But unfortunately these warnings are on these products because someone did it!! Aye Yi Yi!
A few more I've heard of:
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages." On a bottle of Liquid Plummer
"Warning: May cause Drowsiness" On a bottle of sleeping pills
Oh how sad but true. The thought that someone has DONE these very things is causing a brain cramp! Aye Yi Yi for sure! Glad to see you today! Needed the laugh for sure! THX!
Hugs,
-Michelle0 -
Hugsddpekks said:Thanks for the smiles....
What fun you are! I couldn't read this yesterday, cause I was bawling all day. Today is a new day and I'm enjoying them. Heaven only knows what tomorrow will be, but I look forward to it, nontheless.
I'm like a yoyo....up/down/up/down......and then I shampoo.......
D
I think your statements are very healthy and I'm glad it gave you a break.
Sincerest hugs,
Jim0 -
How about this one - ajimwins said:Hugs
I think your statements are very healthy and I'm glad it gave you a break.
Sincerest hugs,
Jim
How about this one - a plaintiff won a real legal case against Winnebago which forced them to state in the manual: "Cruise control is not Auto-pilot" (The driver put on cruise control while he went to the back of the Winnebago to make a sandwich - and he won!) Yes, these people are out there... ;-)
(I really needed a chuckle tonight, so thanks everyone). Hugs, Cynthia0 -
You Rock!LivinginNH said:How about this one - a
How about this one - a plaintiff won a real legal case against Winnebago which forced them to state in the manual: "Cruise control is not Auto-pilot" (The driver put on cruise control while he went to the back of the Winnebago to make a sandwich - and he won!) Yes, these people are out there... ;-)
(I really needed a chuckle tonight, so thanks everyone). Hugs, Cynthia
Cynthia! Hello and nice to meet you! I just love your attitude and your approach to caring for your partner! My husband is the love of my life and he knows it! We both know that our mortality matters not in our life here as our souls will always be together! I so look forward to knowing you more!
-Michelle0 -
Here's another good one... A little on the dirty side ...LivinginNH said:How about this one - a
How about this one - a plaintiff won a real legal case against Winnebago which forced them to state in the manual: "Cruise control is not Auto-pilot" (The driver put on cruise control while he went to the back of the Winnebago to make a sandwich - and he won!) Yes, these people are out there... ;-)
(I really needed a chuckle tonight, so thanks everyone). Hugs, Cynthia
But made me laugh!
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Donna if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Donna agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish
serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished, Donna asked him, "How much is that faucet?"
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
Donna exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Donna paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot0 -
Excellent! Thanks CynthiaLilChemoSmoker said:Here's another good one... A little on the dirty side ...
But made me laugh!
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Donna if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Donna agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish
serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished, Donna asked him, "How much is that faucet?"
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
Donna exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Donna paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot
Excellent! Thanks Cynthia and Michelle for the laughs.0 -
LOLLilChemoSmoker said:Here's another good one... A little on the dirty side ...
But made me laugh!
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Donna if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Donna agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish
serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished, Donna asked him, "How much is that faucet?"
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
Donna exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Donna paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot
Okay, that got a cackle out of me. I'm at my sister's and
hopefully I didn't wake them up. I crashed after dinner and
woke back up around midnight. Thanks for making me laugh.0 -
Cackle Cackle!jimwins said:LOL
Okay, that got a cackle out of me. I'm at my sister's and
hopefully I didn't wake them up. I crashed after dinner and
woke back up around midnight. Thanks for making me laugh.
I haven't heard that term in quite a while. Love it! My mother used to say I cackled! Dinner must have been good! Glad you were allowed to sleep and catch up. Laughter is such a good medicine isn't it? Hope you are having a good Sunday!
Love to you!
-Michelle
P.S. Thank you so much for posting for Lee and Chantal! Energy and prayers are working. Lee got a room yesterday and is now getting the medical attention he has needed for some time now.0
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