Ok and why am I up at this hour??

Faithful_Angel said:

Understanding
Kelly,

I know how heart-wrenching all this is. I just lost my dad three weeks ago. *Seems like yesterday* My heart goes out to you. I know how long those days can be. When my dad became confused as some would say, it became harder to understand what he was saying and it would frustrate him when I wouldn't respond. But I think they know we are trying out best.

I am so glad you are appreciating each day you have with Mark. It will come down to each Moment. I know it did for me. My heart goes out to you for what you are going through daily. Just know that we are here for you at all times.

I wish I could say sleeping gets better... But I'm having an even harder time sleeping now that my dad is gone.

Sleep when you can and take time for something for you even if it's just to walk outside with a cup of tea or coffee and breathe that fresh air into your lungs. Hugs and healing thoughts sent your way...

Valerie

Transitioning
Good point Valerie. When things start transitioning, you meet them in moments, rather than days. I pray that you learn to sleep more peacefully as time heals your aching heart and that peace will surround your spirit in a knowing that your father is now peaceful with no pain, and no cancer in his new home. Hugs to you and your family.

To Kelly: There is much work being done. I would like to share with you Kelly, a really good read that I also posted to Leyla. The transition for them is a lot of preparation and work. As caregivers we stand in the gap for them (somewhere between this world and the world of peace they are heading to). Know that in the next world, there will be peace, joy, and a love that surrounds our spirit.

This is a good read from a book that Hospice gave me on their first visit to our home. Hope this can give you some much needed peace in your heart during this most difficult time of transition.

"As the knowledge that 'yes, I am dying' becomes real, a person begins to withdraw from the world around them. This is the beginning of separation, first from the world- no more interest in newspapers or television then from people- no more neighbors visiting: 'Tell Aunt Jessie I don't feel like company today,' and finally from the children, grandchildren and perhaps even those persons most loved. This is becoming a time of withdrawing from everything outside of one's self and going inside. Inside where there is sorting out, evaluation one's self and one's life. But inside there is only room for one. This processing of one's life is usually done with the eyes closed, so sleep increases. A morning nap is added to the usual afternoon nap. Staying in bed all day and spending more time asleep than awake becomes the morm. This appears to be just sleep but know that important work is going on inside on a level of which 'outsiders' aren't aware. With this withdrawal comes less of a need to communicate with others. Words are seen as being connected with the physical life that is being left behind. Words lose their importance; touch and wordlessness take on more meaning."

I pray for each and every one of us to navigate through these hard times of grief, with the grace and love. You remain a strong spirit here, and we all see in your sharing that you remain the 'gap keeper' for your dear husband.

Regards,
Michelle

KLScoville said:

Thank you both
Thanks you both Valerie and Michelle, I understand that he is sorting things out as he is resting.

I am sorry Valerie for the lose of you Dad. From your posts I see he is a great man. May the Lord keep you at peace during this time of sorrow knowing that your Dad is now pain free.

Michelle thank you for that, I also have the hospice book and know what to expect even from the unexpected things. It will be moment by moment some day and I dread that day but it is inevitable and on the horizon.

I am sorry to cut this short, just wanted to say thank you. I have to go and test my Mark's blood sugar so he can have his shakes.

Thanks for listening and God Bless!
~Kelly

Another good read
Final Gifts it's written by a couple hospice workers it gave me so much peace throughout my dad's journey