It seems like a got cancer once a year, this will be the thrid time :-(

Mercedes20870
Mercedes20870 Member Posts: 24
in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi ladies,

Days ago I post about the paracentesis I got cause by the fluid in my abdomen, I know is the cancer coming back, the first time I got 8 Lt of fluid, that was how they found the cancer, I did not had any other symptoms ...

I'm feeling pretty down, I don't have much ilusion for what is coming to me, and I'm considering myself a very optimist person, but to get sick once a year is very sad, so I'm guessing that's what they mean but 5 years surviving rates, my cancer is III stage, I'm tired it's all, I see how my family suffer for me, I'm single, no kids, but my dearest parents are good, 76 a 78 years old, and I feel so bad causing them so much pain, I live by my own, but if I can't work my brother has to help me, and he works so hard and has plans to married for the Church in Peru in February next year, and he is saving money for it, and just to think they have to help me, make me feel worse, I know they are so good to me, but still it is hard.

At least I'm not scared, we have the promise of eternal life, is just, I'm so tired, and I can not feel happy for what is coming, I know God will show me his power and I will follow his guidance, but today I need comfort and force from you ladies, because you understand me more than anybody.

Thank you so much for your time and prayers, you all are in my heart and I'm praying for you too ...

Might God give us grace and guide in our journey,

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Comments

  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    #2
    Dear Sweet Mercedes
    I don't have any words of wisdom to offer, just great big hugs . Your post makes me sad and angry. I hate cancer, I hate for anyone to have cancer. but to fight so hard, so young, and still have it come back.. it just makes me very very angry.
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,
    Cindy
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    #3
    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry you are going through this. I am currently reading a book titled "Embrace, Release, Heal" by Leigh Fortson. It is written by a 3 time cancer survivor and it relates stories of other cancer survivors and discusses alternative treatments. The further I get into the book, the more amazing the survival stories. If you can get your hands on a copy, it is full of hope. Praying that you get well.
  • Mercedes20870
    Mercedes20870 Member Posts: 24
    #4
    Cindy Bear said:

    Dear Sweet Mercedes
    I don't have any words of wisdom to offer, just great big hugs . Your post makes me sad and angry. I hate cancer, I hate for anyone to have cancer. but to fight so hard, so young, and still have it come back.. it just makes me very very angry.
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,
    Cindy

    Hi Cindy, You made me feel
    Hi Cindy, You made me feel better because you care, I will get thru this, there is so much to keep learning, friend of mine tell me, " in this world is so much bad people and they are just fine, I don't get it " ... I do, if just bad people get sick, nobody will pray for them, and nobody will learn and inspire as we do, we have a big responsability in how we handle our journey, because there is so many who need us to learn ...

    Thank you with all my heart for your prayers, I know you understand me, this is just amazing how without to know each other we know exactly how does it feel...

    God bless you, I will pray for you too

    Mercedes
  • Mercedes20870
    Mercedes20870 Member Posts: 24
    #5
    Tethys41 said:

    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry you are going through this. I am currently reading a book titled "Embrace, Release, Heal" by Leigh Fortson. It is written by a 3 time cancer survivor and it relates stories of other cancer survivors and discusses alternative treatments. The further I get into the book, the more amazing the survival stories. If you can get your hands on a copy, it is full of hope. Praying that you get well.

    Hi Tethys,
    I'm sorry too,
    Hi Tethys,

    I'm sorry too, but I have to find the bright side of all this pretty soon, I just love to be in a good mood, I miss myself, but I'm just tired, I have faith in this time will be the last, I will keep fighting, I know I'm not alone, and there is so much yet to live, we know chemo is horrible, but just few days, after that we feel better, I know this new time will bring me other good things, like your message, I will buy a copy of that book tomorrow, I can't wait to start to read it.

    Thank you so much, God bless your good hearth ... I will pray for you too

    Mercedes
  • carolyn45
    carolyn45 Member Posts: 100
    #6
    Mercedes20870 said:

    Hi Tethys,
    I'm sorry too,
    Hi Tethys,

    I'm sorry too, but I have to find the bright side of all this pretty soon, I just love to be in a good mood, I miss myself, but I'm just tired, I have faith in this time will be the last, I will keep fighting, I know I'm not alone, and there is so much yet to live, we know chemo is horrible, but just few days, after that we feel better, I know this new time will bring me other good things, like your message, I will buy a copy of that book tomorrow, I can't wait to start to read it.

    Thank you so much, God bless your good hearth ... I will pray for you too

    Mercedes

    Hang in there, Mercedes
    Yes, one of the hardest parts of having cancer and receiving treatment is we don't feel like ourselves. I remember lying in the hospital bed after emergency surgery and an ileostomy with the news that I had advanced ovarian cancer (3 C) rebounding in my head. My body gained 100 pounds of water, so my usual 110 pound self was gone. I was in terror because of opiate (pain killer) reactions. I had a bag at my waist. I searched and searched for some remnant of the self I knew, and there was nothing. I felt like a shell, empty inside. I prayed to PLEASE find something besides the blackness. What came to me was to look for beauty in every one and every thing around me. My hospital room was loaded with flowers, and I could focus on the rich colors. Every person who came in my room had something truly beautiful for me to notice--a lovely hair color, beautiful skin, eyes that glowed. I was lifted out of my misery. Part of me WAS still fine. You are still there. Your sweet heart and genuine kindness are the truth of you.

    Never feel badly about "worrying" your family. If one of your parents or your brother were in your place, wouldn't you desperately want to do everything you could? Of course you would! Allow those who love you to be there for you in every way they wish. You deserve that! It is horrible to contemplate more chemo, but once you're in the flow of it, you just keep marching on. As you said, a few bad days is all it really is. You will be in my heart and prayers.
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #7
    HUGS & PRAYERS, MERCEDES
    I'm sorry to hear you may be facing another set-back, Mercedes. But I'm so inspired by your faith. Knowing that the Lord is in ALL things and will always be my comfort and strength is paramount in every facet of my life. He has blessed me with a wonderful family, friends, life, and most of all, eternal life.

    Nonetheless, I get tired sometimes, too. I faced my first diagnosis head-on, ready to fight. Then, when I had a recurrance, I was still hopeful and faithful, but the treatments knocked me even lower than before - that shook my resolve. And when my body is weak, it's so much harder to 'press on'. But I got through it once again.

    These weakness and afflictions are an unfortunate consequence of this 'fleshly' life - the toll it takes on our lives, and the lives of our family. We all have our 'moments'. Even these 11 years later I sometimes still get anxious about my check-ups, hoping that once again I'll be able to breathe easier, at least for another 6 months. But I know that no matter what, I will be given the strength to endure, for the plan that He has for me. Although these words may seem simplistic and easy to say, internal struggles still grip from time to time.

    One of the most important things I learned through it all (but actually knew to an extent before all of this) is that life is precious, and you must make the best of each moment. Continue in your faith, Mercedes. Make plans to join your family in celebration of your brother's marriage in Peru. You sound like a very strong woman, and you are an inspirationto your family.

    Prayers and Hugs,
    Monika

    But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.
    Isaih 40:31
    Psalm 91 is one of my favorites, too!

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